Little Miss Insatiable
by MY DAUGHTER BELLA
Summary: Renesmee&Jacob find love,eventually,but will Nessie's new friends allow the love to easily exist? Watch as Ness n Jake innocently begin to learn about each other and their bodies. Full of adventure. Canon. Rated M for a reason. Yummy!
1. My Damn Daddy

**Chapter 1: My Damn Daddy**

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. And, I don't own any of the poetry in Nessie's Journal that's mentioned in the chapter. Ms. Hillary Betzler wrote those heartfelt thoughts. The name of the poem is "I Am Not Perfect."**

**At some point in the near future, I would like to take credit for my characters that will cause havoc in the life of our beloved Cullens, but for now, SM, it's all yours.**

**To my readers and reviewers, I love you. You make my heart skip a beat every time I read one of your reviews. You make me want to continue. So, smooches to you all.**

**Anyway, I'm rambling...on to the next one. LOL! Wait, I just heard that song in my head when I wrote that...'on to the next one, on to the next one...how cool is that...wait...it won't stop...LOL!**

"Renesmee, some here right this instant! Jacob!" Dad said...no screamed.

Jacob and I made our way to the living room. We knew he would be mad, but he gets mad at almost everything. Dad treats me like I'm destructible. I am immortal for god's sake. And, on top of that, I am sixteen years old, making seventeen in about a month. I should have some type of freedom to have fun, and do as I like. All of my life, I have been cooped up in this house, being taught various things by my family, and never getting the chance to meet people and build relationships, besides them. My growth has dramatically slowed, and any changes that are noticeable are those that any teenager would go through.

I looked up at Jacob, wondering just what he would do to us this time. Last time, I was forbidden to leave the house with Jake for a month. Dad would not let me visit Jake at his cottage, spend the night, or call him. Jake is my best friend and has been for as long as I can remember.

I rode my first bike with Jake, played my first board game, learned to cook eggs, and even talked about boys first with Jake. Jake has always been by my side. I have always felt comfortable, loved, protected, when he was near. He always let me have my way, even defended me when I did something wrong, and dad got angry with me. He would always take the blame.

Dad has always secretly hated our relationship, but he is my Jake. I can't ever imagine him not being in my life, somehow. Mom understands. She is always very sweet and understanding. She tries to talk to dad, but he is a hopeless case. Nothing I do is right.

So, as Jake and I descended the stairs, I began talking to Dad in my thoughts.

_Dad, please. You always blow things out of proportion, please listen to me. We only went for a ride. No harm was done. Please don't start. Nothing happened. Plus, I didn't even drive._

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen! Do not tell me nothing happened. I specifically told you and Jacob not to ride those bikes. They are dangerous and wreckless, and I forbid it. Have you forgotten that this is your third bike?"

"Edward, I am sorry. Nessie was watching me tune up the bikes. I asked her if she wanted to go up the street with me to see how the engine was running. I lost track of distance after that. It's not Nessie's fault."

"Jacob, you be quiet. Every time Renesmee does something, you step in and take the blame. You both know I am no fool. And I am sure you both remember that I can read your minds. Renesmee, you told on yourself early this morning. Jacob, I trust you to know better. Especially when I was very clear about her not riding those bikes. Now, Renesmee, if you insist on disobeying me, I will permanently destroy that bike instead of just punish you. Do you want that?"

"Edward, calm down." Mom said. "No harm was done. Lets go hunt, calm down, then revisit this later." Mom stepped up to dad, smoothing her hand across his cheeks. "Plus, we haven't hunted alone in a while." Mom smiled at him flirtatiously.

"Fine, Bella. But, Renesmee, I am far from done with this." He and mom walked off into the darkness.

"Jake, I am so sorry. How do I keep getting you involved in my mess?" I smiled at him.

"Oh, Nessie, don't worry about it. I can handle your dad. You just have to remember to not think so much about what we do for fun, especially if you want to continue."

"But Jake, what's the big deal. If I jump off of a twenty story building, nothing will happen to me."

Jake gasped. "Nessie, don't talk like that. Plus, how do you know that nothing will happen? I wish you would calm down a little. Plus, you know he's not finish. He'll probably separate us again, and I hate that. I really miss you when you're not around."

I looked at Jake, upset that he's agreeing with Daddy. I turned around, and went into my room, slamming the door behind me. I'm so damn angry. Daddy acts like all he wants to do is control me. He wants me to be someone that I will never be. I will never be my mother. Never. And, I don't want to be. Nice and proper is definitely not me. I wish I could leave this house, today. Maybe then he would realize just how ridiculous he is being.

I walked over to my stereo system that Grandma Esme bought me this summer. I popped in my iPhone and pressed random. My taste in music varies, depending on my mood. I quickly changed my mind. I knew that song I wanted to hear. Second Chance by Shinedown is my first song of choice. I cranked up the volume to fifty and laid across my bed, writing in my journal. I love my music loud like this when I'm upset. I can easily clear my mind.

My eyes are open wide  
And by the way, I made it  
Through the day  
I watched the world outside  
By the way, I'm leaving out  
Today

I just saw Hayley's comet  
She waved,  
Said why you always running  
In place?  
Even the man in the  
Moon disappeared  
Somewhere in the  
Stratosphere  
Tell my mother,  
Tell my father  
I've done the best I can  
To make them realize  
This is my life  
I hope they understand  
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...  
Sometimes goodbye  
Is a second chance...

In my journal, I wrote:

I am not a perfect person,  
And I don't try to be.  
I am just another imprisoned soul,  
That is longing to be set free.

I don't want to be in this place anymore,  
I don't want to shed anymore tears.  
I'm sick of always hiding inside of myself,  
This has gone on for too many years.

I don't want to show my emotions,  
Or to tell you how I feel.  
I just want to know the difference,  
Between what is fake and what is real.

I'm just another lost soul,  
That is waiting to be found.  
I'm just another liability,  
That you don't want around.

I'm just falling through the air,  
And I'm about to hit the ground.  
But I don't expect anyone to catch me,  
Because no one wants me around.

No one really cares about me,  
They just ignore me everyday.  
No one really cares enough,  
To even ask me if I'm okay.

Before I could get into the song good, Jake opened the door and raised his eyebrow at me.

"What!" He walked over to my iPhone and turned the music all the way down. "Jake, what are you doing!" I sprang up out the bed. "Don't do that!"

He put his hands up, conceding to his actions. "Nessie, what's up? Why are you so upset? Talk to me." He walked over and sat on my bed, patting the bed next to him. I walked over and sat next to him. When he began rubbing my back, I fell into tears.

"Jake, I hate him! I have no freedom, I never leave this house, he keeps me under his thumb in every situation, and I want out!"

Jake seemed shocked. I guess I have never really voiced my frustrations about this to him before. I never really had to. He always kept things interesting for me. But now..."Dad is shutting us down every time we want to go have fun, and I feel trapped...like I'm in a small little Edward box just waiting to be opened when he wants me to be. Shit!"

"Nessie, where is this coming from, really? Your dad loves you, and only wants the best for you. He doesn't mean to make you feel trapped. You know that. And, you and your family lead a special lifestyle that has to be protected. What is it really. Be honest with me. You can trust me." He placed his finger under my chin, lifting my head up to him. "Nessie?"

"I know. Jake, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Nessie, anything."

"Well, in your opinion, my growth has slowed and is not very noticeable, right?" He shook his head. "Well, how do you think I could approach my dad to let me go to high school? Jake, I need to get out of this house. I have no privacy, no friends, other than you, and I really want to go. Tell me what to do, Jake," tears still streaming down my face.

He looked at me, smiling. "Nessie, Edward is reasonable. If you talk to him like you are talking to me, he will agree, eventually. He knows you are growing up and needs to lighten up a little. But in his defense, he sees you like you are only six years old. He believes it takes more time than that to fully grow up, to deserve more freedom, but everything is different with you. You may just need to talk to him and give him some time to come to terms with it. I know him. He really wants you to be happy." He smiled at me, pulling me into his embrace. "Besides, everything you have ever wanted from him, he has given it to you. Even when he didn't agree. That's how you go two more bikes after all those wrecks." He chuckled.

"Jake, I'm scared to even bring it up to him. I know that mom won't be as unreasonable, but him, I already know it will be an uphill battle, probably ending in my loss."

"Ness, give him more credit than that. Give him some time to adjust to the idea, and I'm sure that he'll see it your way. Ness, I have an idea."

I pulled from him. "What?"

"Do you think it would influence his decision if I went with you. I mean, attend classes with you?"

"Jake! You would do that for me?"

"Of course, Nessie, besides, who would keep you out of trouble? You know how you are. Your new name is Renesmee "Dangerous-I-have-to-find-trouble" Cullen" He chuckled. "Me going with you would probably soften his outlook on the whole situation. But you will have to promise me to calm that side of you down." I giggled, jumped on his lap, and gave him a huge hug.

"Thanks, Jakie. You're the best.

"I know, but you still haven't agreed to calm the hell down." He smiled.

"Jake, do you want me to lie to you?" He looked at me from the side. "Well, can I promise to not wreck anything, on purpose, and to not look for trouble, on purpose?" Jake burst out laughing. He knew that was the best that I could promise at the time.

"Alright, Nessie. You are going to get me cussed out. I just know it."

"Daddy doesn't cuss. He's too 'refined and elegant' for that."

"Ah, Nessie, cut it out."

"Alright, alright. I love you, Jakie, and thanks again."

"I know, Ness. I love you, too."

He was right, though. I am bound to get into something. I love to do things that others would dare do. Fast bikes, cliff diving, fighting cougars, sky diving. Ooh, let me stop. Dad doesn't know about any of that, yet, and hopefully never will. He would have my hide for any of that, and Jake's. Jake and I have done some – not so smart things this past year. If dad knew the half of it, he would surely make our lives Hell.

I giggled, remembering when I jumped off the cliff with Seth after Jake forbid me to go. As soon as he turned his head, I jumped, fully clothed, except my shoes. When I hit the water, my clothes got caught on a tree branch laying on the bottom. I couldn't see how to release it, so it took me a little longer than Seth to reach the surface. Next thing I knew, Jacob was down there, ripping my brand new shirt, towing me to the shore. I was infuriated. First, I can hold my breath for indefinite periods of time, therefore would not have drowned, and second, I had just bought that damn shirt. I really liked it. Aunt Ali had ordered it from France or somewhere crazy. But, the look on Jake's face when we got to shore immediately changed my attitude toward him. I decided to play along. I held my breath, and remained still. He was screaming my name over and over, begging me to breath. It was priceless, him trying to push air into me and pushing on my chest. I couldn't take it anymore, I just burst out laughing through all his efforts. He was so mad with me that left me laying there on the shore as he walked back to Billy's. Of course, he couldn't stay mad at me long, but I didn't push my luck. I let it go, only snickering under my breath. Last summer in Forks was the best.

Later that afternoon, Jake and I went hunting. I hadn't been in more than a week, so we took this time to discuss how I would approach Daddy. After we exhausted most of my options, we began joking about how to go to daddy. We thought things like hog tying him, taping his mouth shut, and just telling him what I was going to do. Or, just walk in the house, slam the door, stand in front of daddy and demand that he let me go to school. Oh, this one is the best. How about its the first day of school. I get up, get dressed and walk out the door to go to school without saying anything to him. Hahaha. None of that would ever work. Has anyone ever met Edward Anthony Cullen? Huh, never in a million years. We just laughed and laughed on our way back home.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A couple of days later, I found the nerve to approach Dad. Luckily, I had already spoken to Mom, and she agreed with me, especially since Jake was willing to come and watch guard over me. She knew though, that Dad would be an issue. He is so overprotective and would never easily go for this. So, I decided to just go for it. I had nothing to lose anyway. The worst he could say was no.

I got together with Aunt Ali and put together an outfit that made me look cute and innocent. I argued with her that this could back fire in my face. If Dad continues to look at me like a little girl, that is definitely how he will be treating me.

Aunt Ali decided to meet me half way. She put me on a tightly fitted dark jean with an emerald green t-shirt with loopy writing on it. The t-shirt had a v-neck, but it did not show much skin because we put on a simple silver chain with a large R on it to take away from my growing chest. She finished the outfit with a black leather wrapping belt fitted loosely around my waist and black leather boots. She picked my hair up into a messy ponytail with curls dropping loosely around my face.

When we were finish, Jake walked in to judge our work. When he walked in, he had the strangest look in his eyes. His expression went from my happy and goofy Jake to surprised, moony Jake. Just as I was about to question his expression, and whether he liked it or not, he spoke.

"Nessie, you look great. Hurry, your mom just called. Edward is on his way here now." We all shuffled around the room.

"Everyone stop!" Aunt Ali said. "Don't forget to guard our thoughts. Jacob, say your alphabets backwards. Nessie think about school as being a happy place, and I'm leaving." She hugged me and wished me good luck, leaving out the back door.

"Jake, I'm scared. This _will_ be hard. What if he doesn't let me go?"

"S-R-Q-P" He smiled at me, saying his alphabets backwards. "He's here."

We walked downstairs. My nerves were in a bundle and I couldn't find the right expression for my face. Man, this is my dad. He loves me and wants to do whats right for me. But I want this so bad. School, friends, relationships, teachers, field trips, slumber parties, football games, basketball games.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs, Jake and I got a drink, and sat at the bar in the kitchen. Dad walked in laughing with mom. That has to be a good thing...him being in a good mood to start.

"Hi, Dad." I got up and kissed his cheek. "What's so funny?"

"Your mother just raced me back here, but cheated. When I was counting down to begin the race, she sprinted out before me. I still beat her though. See Bella, cheaters never win." They continued in their amusement for a while longer. I thought it was great that dad will start this conversation in a good mood. But my thoughts were interrupted.

"Renesmee, why are you thinking about school the way you are?" Dad broke quickly from his laughter. "Are you hiding something from me?"

"No, Dad, of course not. Why?"

"Well, Jacob is saying his alphabets backwards over and over. What's going on?"

"Daddy, I need to talk to you, but you need to keep an open mind. Will you, for me? Promise me."

"Jacob! Stop doing that!" Dad said angrily. "Renesmee, get it out!"

"No! Promise me Daddy!"

He looked at me curiously. "Alright, I promise." He looked down at mom, and grabbed her hand. "Do you know about this?" She only smiled and looked at me.

"Daddy, I want to go to school. You and Grandpa agree that my growth has slowed to normal for my age, and I want to get out of this house and meet people. I'm ready, Daddy, I know I am." I walked up to him with my sweet smile and my puppy eyes and grabbed his hand. "Please, Daddy."

He only looked at me at first. I knew he was trying to find hundreds of reasons as to why I would not be able to go. He pinched the bridge of his nose, then looked at mom. "What do you think about this?"

"I think it's a great idea. She will be able to learn so much more than just history and memorization. She will be able to learn about relationships, trust, personalities. All of those things that come with meeting people that don't care for you like your family does. I think you should let her. Plus, Jacob is willing to go with her."

"Jacob, you are willing to put yourself through that again?"

"Well..." Jacob paused for a moment. "Yes, anything for Nessie. Plus, she will need to be discrete. How will we know if none of us go with her?"

"That's my issue with her. Renesmee, you are a ball of fire, waiting to explode. You push the limits on everything. I just don't know if you will understand the difference between our way of life and movements and those of normal humans. You are accustomed to moving as you wish. Never taking note that some human may be looking at you. Renesmee, I just don't know. This all makes me really nervous."

"Edward, if you want, I could work with Nessie on that. She learns really easy. I think she can do it. She just needs to understand the proper movements of humans. And, now that I think about it...when I would bring her to La Push, she never moved like she did at home. Humans are always on the beach. And I don't ever remember telling her that she had to be careful. We could give it a try. She has a little more than a week to prove it."

"Alright, Jacob, you can try, but I want see her from now, until school starts moving as a human at all times. Her only time to move naturally is when she hunts. Plus, I want fifty percent of her diet to be human food. No playing, no racing, nothing. She has to be able to maintain those movements for long periods of time. I want you to also practice playing sports with her. That will surely give her away in gym class, too."

"Anything you want, Daddy, thank you, thank you." I pulled him down into a big hug, and kissed him all over his face. I couldn't be happier. I grabbed Jake by the hand, running out of the house before Daddy changed his mind. "Jake, can we start now?"

"Sure, Nessie. Lets begin by going back in the house and eating. I am starving. It's a perfect way to begin your diet. You're cooking." He laughed and sprinted back to the house. Testing me. I wouldn't be slipping up that easy.

Our day went by quickly. I grilled four steaks for Jake and me. Of course he ate three of them. That boy has an appetite for three people. I cooked mine rare, and Jake's was medium well. We laughed and talked the whole day. He seemed to be just as excited about school as I was. I never said anything to him, but I wonder how he will be received at the school. He stands six feet five inches tall and has an extreme muscular build. He will stick out like a sore thumb. But, he's so sweet, and really beautiful, plus he smells so damn good. I bet the girls will be all over him. Huh, why did that just make me feel weird. Anyway...

After we ate, we sat out by the lake. I read a book and Jake studied a sketch he drew for a car that he was wanting to build. From time to time, he would ask my opinion about what I would like in it or if he was doing too much. I guess he wanted everything to be perfect before he began building it. He was past the design process. He was now adding accessories, modifications, and music. Auntie Rose has taught him a lot these past years about cars, so I am excited to see just how this will turn out.

There was nothing in the world that could break my high today. I had gotten everything and more than I wanted. I got my dad to agree to let me go to school, and I got my Jake to come with me. Granted, I never thought to ask him, but I am ecstatic that he's coming.

That night, I spent the night at Jake's cottage. We talked about learning, friends, personalities, attitudes, competition, trust, and decisions, well into the night. We were both so excited. Well, at least Jake acts like he is excited. He is really a great friend to me.

**A/N: Alright all, I know you have a ton of questions, and I'm ready to answer them. **

**I gave a good six chapters already written, but they are really long. I'll have to probably break them down smaller. I think one of them has 10,000 words. Wow, I know. I won't do that to you. I'll figure something out. I understand how sometimes SM got so long winded in some of her descriptions. It's hard not to, especially when you want the reader to see what you see.**

**Now, let's review. Stay with me...the story will quicken soon enough. **

**Reviewing is better than Nessie jumping off the cliff fully clothed, having Jacob placing his mouth to her and feeling her boobs up. Well, maybe not better than that, but still review! LOL!**


	2. Vampire vs Human

**Chapter 2: Vampire vs. Human**

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Alright everybody...I know that you're seeing this story, but you're not giving me any love. I know that the story is going slow right now, but I promise...It will speed up in a little bit. To date, we don't have any background about our beloved Renesmee, so I have to build character. You'll love her in the end. I promise. **

**So, add this story to your alerts. You don't want to miss the Lemons. It'll make you feel all kinds of warm...if you know what I mean... :D**

Toward the end of the day, Mom and Aunt Ali came to the lake with Jake and I, talking about high school. They wanted to explain to me about what to expect, and how to conduct myself with humans.

"Nessie, do you realize just how beautiful you have become?" Aunt Ali asked. "Your looks, your smell, your smile, they all will work for you, or against you. I know that you already know this, but naturally, humans are our prey. We are designed to draw them in. Make them like us. They are very easy to dazzle, and that makes things a lot easier for us to deal with them. The reason I'm telling you all of this is because you will have to know how to handle humans in all situations. Discretion will have to mirror all your actions.

Your mother told me that your father wants the majority of your diet to be human. I know you can survive like that, but the smell of human blood may be an even greater tease than you may imagine when you get hungry. You will have to pay special attention to what you eat and how much. Never skip meals, never cut back on your scheduled portions. Always keep in mind that regardless to how much you have been taught and even though you are half human – that you still are a vampire, and that is nothing to take lightly. The safety of this whole family will depend on you and your actions when with them. I know you can do this Nessie. I have faith in you."

"I know Aunt Ali. I will not disappoint you."

"Renesmee, have you considered dating? What would you do if a boy liked you? Or asked you out on a date, or if you liked him?" Mom asked. 

"Ah, Mom, I'm not even thinking like that." I rolled my eyes. Jake stood up and left the three of us together to talk. Aunt Rosie came out with us soon after.

"Nessie, I heard your conversation with your mother." She looked at Mom. "Sorry for eavesdropping, Bella." Mom shrugged her shoulders. "But, Nessie, just because you are not thinking about it now, does not mean you will not in a month or a year. You have to consider every point they throw at you. Your reactions mean everything.

Nessie, stand up. Let's just say that I am a boy. A very cute boy if I may say so." She giggled at herself. "And I continuously show interest in you, until finally I get the nerve to approach you and ask for a date, or go to a movie, or meet the family, or even try to kiss you. How do you think you would react?" She stood closely to me. Rubbing my arm, whispering nothing in my ear. Pressing herself against me. Rubbing my back. Asking me for a date. I had to catch myself. I stepped back.

"What are you doing Aunt Rosie? No one would get that close to me."

"Huh, yes they would, Renesmee." Mom added. "Boys can be relentless, forceful, pushy, demanding, and even down right disrespectful. I saw your face when Rose did that to you. Please understand. It could be like that, or worse. What went through your mind before you stepped back?"

"Well, I had my eyes closed, and first I tried to imagine Aunt Rosie as a boy. Then, it made me angry that he was that close in my space. I wanted to throw him to the ground. I had to catch myself. I felt angry."

"That is exactly what we need you to understand." Aunt Ali said. "You will get angry from time to time. Humans nor vampires are perfect, so there will be differences of opinion. Expect it. Probably more often than none. You must contain that anger. Find other ways to vent. You must never show your true strength in front of humans."

"I understand, Aunt Ali. Thank you Aunt Rosie. This has been exactly what I needed. Can I go find Jake? I need to talk to him. Are we finish here?"

"Yes. We'll talk later." Mom added.

I went to find Jake. I wanted to get away from here for a while. This is all making me really nervous, and I need an out. Just the thought of anyone disrespecting my space for their own personal gain infuriates me. How could people really be like that?

When I found Jake, he was playing a video game with Uncle Em. "Hi, Uncle Em. Jake, can I talk to you?" He looked up at me.

"Alright. Em, I'll finish beating you later."

Uncle Em laughed at Jake. "Oh, I look forward to it. Jasper!"

Jake and I walked outside. "Can we go somewhere?"

"Where, Ness?"

"Anywhere. Please, just take me away from here." We got into Jake's rabbit that he rebuilt and headed to his cottage. He needed to get changed. He wanted to go see a movie or eat.

As Jake and I approached his garage behind his cottage, I had an idea.

"Jake, can we ride today? I don't have to drive. I just want to feel some speed. I need to clear my head." Jake looked at me...probably concerned about what my daddy would say, but he still agreed. We went straight to his bike and mounted it. The growl that the bike had from the modifications Jake added made it sound strong, enticing. I looked at Jake with a big smile.

"No, Nessie. Absolutely not. Your father will kill me, and punish you from school. Don't give him a reason. He will know. He always knows."

"But, Jake..."

"No, Nessie. I'm tired of fighting with your father. If you want to keep me around, we will have to stop being so reckless."

"But, Jakie, I thought you love me." I half smiled at him, batting my eyes. In the past, he has never been able to resist me when I really want something. I expect today will be no different. Jake looked down at me, looking defeated. He hung his head, looking at me straight in the eyes. He was so close to my face. I could feel his warm breath brushing against my forehead, and his clean, woodsy scent taking over my senses. My whole body felt warm...weird. I closed my eyes. Memorizing the moment.

"Alright, Nessie. But just know, you may never go to school after this." He walked off toward the bike. Damn. What was that? Why would I have those strange feelings for my friend? Jake would be really disappointed with me if he knew what I was just thinking. What my body had just done.

Jake has always been my best friend for as far back as I can remember. I can't remember him ever bringing a girl around, or showing interest in girls that tried to make themselves noticed by him. If they even got a smile out of him would be a miracle. I guess he knows that the imprint is stronger than any crush, and he always says that he chooses to wait on her. I've never understood his take on this. Plus, how could he imprint if he never goes out and makes himself available. I hope I am not the reason he has put his life on hold. Maybe, since we are starting school, he can have a life separate from me. Maybe find his soul mate. His imprint.

I sighed at my thoughts. Just thinking about him being with another girl, for any reason makes me sad...even mad. I wonder just how much our relationship would change once he finds his true love? Hopefully, we will always be close friends. Maybe she will understand. As I thought on it, I knew exactly what I needed to do.

"Come on Nessie, you driving or what?" Jake said, pulling me out of my reverie.

"No, Jake. Thanks, but I'm like you. I really don't feel like fighting with daddy. Lets ride."

We rode all over Victoria. I held on tight to Jake as the wind flew through my hair. The ride was bitter sweet. It was exactly what I wanted, but after today, I knew we may never do this again. Never spend time together like this again. I cried into his leather jacket, hoping desperately that he never heard my sobs. What's wrong with me? I think I'll just miss his company. He is all I've ever known. But I have to not be selfish. I have to allow him happiness just as he has given me.

Oh, well, until then, I will enjoy our ride. The weather was perfect. The sun shone brightly. Everything's perfect. For now.

Jake stopped off at an Italian eatery just outside of town. I was not hungry, but I remembered what Aunt Ali said, so I did not fight Jake about eating. We went in and ordered some type of pasta with shrimp in a white sauce. It actually proved to be really good. I was surprised.

Jake kept looking up at me. I tried to ignore him. I knew that he knew something was wrong, I didn't know how talk to him about my thoughts, so I didn't.

"Ness, what's wrong? I thought we took the ride to clear your head. You look sad. Wanna talk?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine. Just thinking about school. Sorry if I'm a party pooper."

Jake laughed. "Ready to go? I want to show you something."

"What?"

"Let's go. I know you'll love it."

We rode a little further out of town. There was a lot of trees and greenery everywhere I looked. I could not imagine what would be so great way out here. After about twenty minutes, Jake turned off the road and maybe a mile down, I saw the most beautiful meadow. It looked like someone had cleared the woods and perfectly planted the most beautiful wild flowers and daisies everywhere. From a distance, I could hear water running. Maybe a stream or a waterfall. It took my breath away and overwhelmed my senses. Everything about it was perfect. There were butterflies flying everywhere. They were various colors and sizes and seemed comfortable lighting on me. It must have been twenty of them on me in various places. I just extended my arms out and laughed the whole time. Jake stepped back, smiling at me, happy I loved his beautiful retreat. We walked the span of the land together, following the sound of the water.

"Jake, oh my god." He stepped up to me, entwining his finger with mine. He looked down at me with the most beautiful look of awe. My mind went blank. I knew he thought the sight was just as beautiful as I did, but my thoughts left as soon as he looked down at me. I no longer saw, nor appreciated the sight of that lovely, clear stream, laced with rocks and beautiful colors. I looked down at our hands entwined and my heart went soft. No, Renesmee. He has his imprint. This would never work. You would only get hurt. I dropped Jake's hand. Shit! I felt my face scrunch, and tears welled up in my eyes.

Jake looked over at me...sad. "What's wrong Ness? Why are you looking like that? I thought you would've loved this, too. Talk to me, Ness." He reached over to pull me into his embrace, but I stepped back.

"Jake, I told you, I. am. Fine. Let's go." I just walked off. Jake came, but trailed a few steps behind me. "Jake, before we go home, can we stop to get ice cream at the boardwalk?"

"Sure, Ness, what ever you want."

The ride to the Boardwalk seemed awkward. I held on to Jake, but not like I had on the way to the meadow. How could I ever expect him to love me, anyway? He's a werewolf for god's sake and I'm a vampire. Neither of our parents would ever go for that, anyway. He deserves to know and love his imprint, and I refuse to steal anymore time from him. We arrived at the boardwalk, got our ice cream and walked a while to a group singing and juggling with their feet. It was quite funny. The audience was large, filled with children my age. When it was over, we sat with a group of other kids that were all talking about the show and how they wanted them at their next birthday party.

While we were talking to some of the kids, a boy walked up to me and introduced himself to me and Jake.

"Hi, I've never seen you two around here before. I'm Brody Gamble. This is my sister, Legend Shay. Everyone else, we go to school with."

"Nice to meet you, Brody Gamble. Legend. I'm Renesmee Cullen and this is Jacob Black."

"Are you two from here?"

"No, just moved here. We're starting school next week."

"Oh, good, well, you will be going to Victoria High. We all go there." He smiled at me. He was a really beautiful boy. He stood more than six feet tall. He had a thin, but muscular build, his eyes were emerald green, and he had the most beautiful blond hair. And his smile. It shone like the sun. Just being near him, seeing the way he looked at me made me feel...weird. We all talked for a while longer, laughing and getting caught up on what to expect next week at school. Brody seemed really nice, and offered to show us where all of my classes were the first day of school. His sister was a sweetheart, also. She seemed really quiet and reserved. She may end up being the perfect friend for me. As we parted, Brody smiled widely at me, and told me that he would be waiting for us in the parking lot.

When they left, I looked over at Jake. He had separated himself from the group, and had taken a seat back at the table we were at before. His face seemed sad for a moment, but quickly was back to my perky Jake.

"So, Ness, you have friends already. Everything seems to be working out already for you. Your father will be pleased." He jumped up and reached for my hand, but I turned around to pick up my scarf that had fallen before he could grab me. He must think I'm a total Ass. It's not like we haven't held hands thousands of times before. Just now, it's different, personal. For me at least.

"Ness..."

I ignored him calling my name. "Jake, let's go home. We have a lot of work to do."

"Ness, before we go, lets go for a jog around the boardwalk. Being around humans while doing a sport will keep help keep your mind cautious." I looked down at my dress attire. Luckily I had worn tennis shoes today.

We took off down the trail created along this beautiful boardwalk. Jake raced me. Of course he beat me. I had to act like a weak human. It took everything in me to not race him again and beat him. He was relentless. He went on and on about how he just beat me. And, how he was the better runner. I know he was messing with me, but losing is definitely not my thing. On any level. As we ran along the pathway, I stuck my foot out and tripped Jake. He went immediately to the ground, scraping his knees and elbow.

"Jake! Jake, I'm so sorry. I only meant to trip you. I'm so sorry."

"Ah, Ness, cut it out. Look, its healing already. I'm not that breakable, remember?" He smiled at me.

I ignored him and attended to his bruises. I got a bottle of water and poured it on the cuts and patted it clean with a tissue paper. He allowed me to attend to him. He just sat there, smiling widely at me.

As I cleaned his wounds, I realized that just by touching him, it made my body feel all icky everywhere. And, the way he looks at me helps nothing. I don't know why I keep doing this. I am beginning to get really pissed off with myself. I refuse to be selfish, anymore. Dad reminds me constantly about how freakin' selfish I am, and how I need to consider others. Well, I am considering Jake. I want him to be happy. To have a life that includes more than just me.

I finished with Jake's wounds and put my hand out to help him stand. "Thanks, Ness. Even though it was unnecessary. Thank you."

"What ever, Jake."

We slowed our pace, jogging together. We passed by an open field that included couples reading books, parents playing frisbee with their children, children running with their dogs. I had never seen this place before. Jake and I use to come here all the time, but we never came back this far. It looked like a nice place to relax and escape from the world. Everyone looked so happy. At peace. I looked up at Jake. He smiled at me and pointed at a guy with a cart. We stopped running and purchased two waters and a hot dog.

"Ness, wanna sit on the grass and eat?"

"Sure, what ever."

He looked at me, furrowing his brow. He sat down next to me, close. Too close. Shit! Can't he get the clue. I scooted over, away from him. He placed his hand on my arm when he noticed what I was doing.

"Ness, whats up? I know I've asked you that a hundred times today, but I feel like what ever your problem is has nothing to do with school. Have I offended you? Have I done something to hurt you?" He looked at me, serious. "Ness, you can tell me anything. I love you. I won't get mad. I promise."

"Jake, I want to ask you something, but I don't know how to."

"Anything. Ask me anything. I promise to be as honest as I can."

I put my head down, laying my drink and hot dog on the ground. He picked my chin up to him. "Ness?"

"Well...um...you...um..." He began looking at me puzzled. Having no idea what I could be stumbling over my words to say to him.

"Ness?"

"Jake, why have you never dated anyone? Have you not showed interest in girls because of me?"

He looked shocked. I guess my question was the last thing he expected to hear from me. But, I pressed on.

"Because, if that's the reason, I don't want you to do that. I know about imprinting, and I know that she will be your soul mate. I also know that you don't date, you don't show girls attention when they try to talk to you, and you don't make yourself available to meet her. Jake, I know you love me, and I love you, but that's not fair for you. You have put your life on hold for years to be my friend. It just seems selfish of me to keep you from happiness like that. I wouldn't cause any problems between you two. But, I hope we could still be friends."

Jake remained very quiet for a long while. He looked off in the distance, running his hand through his hair a couple of times, placing his drink on the ground. When he finally looked over at me, his expression looked pained, but questionable.

"Nessie, I have done no such thing. I have not put my life on hold. I have found a happiness with you and your family that I always lacked with my own. Since the day you were born, I have loved you, and I have enjoyed every single day I have spent with you. As I will in time to come. Besides, there is no one else out there that I would rather spend my time with, anyway." He looked over at me. A smile creeping on his face. His head leaned down a little, and his eyes narrowed at me. When I saw him readjust his position to his knees, I knew what he was about to do, so I tried to get up and run, but he pounced on me, penning me to the ground, holding my hands above my head. I began laughing hysterically before he did anything else. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen, are you trying to get rid of me?" He never gave me a chance to answer before he began tickling me under my arms and on my rib cage. He knows how ticklish I am. I just laughed and laughed, until I could finally get a word out.

"No, Jake, no. Please." By then, he was laughing at me laughing and let me up. "That's not fair. You will have your day, Mr. Black." We laughed a while, finishing our hot dog. The tension between us seemed to let up, but I knew what he was trying to do. I would not be that easily swayed. I want him happy.

"Nessie, it will not be that easy to get rid of me. Until you send me away, I am here. And even then."

"Alright, Jake. What ever you like."

When we were finish eating, we straightened our clothes up and jogged back to the car. Before we got there, we stopped at the edge of the park and watched two groups playing volley ball.

"Wanna play, Ness? Let's see if you can stand to slow your movements, while risking a miss."

"Huh, you sound like you are doubting me. Winning really isn't everything, Jake." He smiled down at me.

"Huh, we'll see." Jake and I played with the group, but on opposing teams. He seemed to be getting a kick out of the fact that my team was losing, and I couldn't do anything about it. He knew how frustrated I was becoming, but I refused to prove him right. In the end, we lost. He was more than a sore winner. He is the worst. He laughed and talked about it all the way to the car. I personally had nothing to say. But I did enjoy listening to him smile and laugh. He looked even more beautiful when he gets excited.

On our way to the car, I noticed women eying Jake. I mean, who wouldn't. He was the most beautiful person I have ever met. The mixture of his bronzed skin color, his messy hair, his sculpted body, that beautiful smile, and his towering height is breath taking.

While we continued, I looked at them looking at him, and him never noticing not one of them. He never eyed them, never looked in their way. Nothing. From what I hear, the imprinting process happens when the two are in each other's presence by eye contact. Is he purposely trying to not find her? What is he afraid of?

When we got to the car, he held the door open for me, but stopped me before I got in. "Nessie, I need you to drop this subject. I am completely happy with my life. No one is making me do anything that I don't want to do. I love the time we spend together, and I always want to be here for you. Regardless to what you decide later in life. Promise me, Nessie."

"Jake, I can't do that. I feel like I have stolen years from you. And you are fine with that. You could still be here for me if you loved someone else. The both of you would be here for me." His eyebrows bunched together. Sadness reigning in his eyes. He acted like I just killed his cat. All I said was that I wanted him to be happy. "Jake, what's so wrong with that?" He remained quiet, holding my hand from earlier. "I want to date one day. Do you expect me to never date?"

"Never, Ness." He took a deep breath. "I only want you to be happy. I will always support you and listen to you. Regardless."

"Well, Jake, I don't understand. You want me to date, and you want to sit and listen to how my dates go? That's crazy. How will you find happiness in that?"

"Nessie, you are worried about the wrong things. You should be concentrating on your feelings and your happiness. I am already happy. You need to get there. Now, Nessie, let this go, please. If you love me, let it go." He leaned in and kissed my forehead. "I know you have good intentions, but they are unnecessary. Trust me. Now, get in the car, and put your seatbelt on young lady." He smiled at me, then walked to the other side of the car.

We talked about the run on the Boardwalk, and how I maintained my human side when he tickled me. I knew I could have easily flipped him, but that definitely would have caught many eyes. He was proud of me for maintaining my cool. And, of course, the volleyball game. I had nothing to comment about that. All I said to him about that he would have his day, soon. He just laughed more at me, reminding me that I had to remain with human strength until school started. Oh, I see he is liking this way too much.

The rest day went by with out event. We got back, ate, and played music in my room. Mom and Dad were at the main house, so we raised the music up all the way. Jake fell asleep on my bed, so I covered him up with a blanked, and crawled up next to him above the covers. I can't remember when I went to sleep.

"_Jacob, I love you, please, Jacob?" She screamed at him. Jacob began running, running as fast as he could. The forest was passing by him in a blur. The sound of twigs and leaves leaving empty traces of sounds behind him. All he could think about was the one he loved. How he wanted to be with her. How he wanted to tell her how much he adored her, and wanted to spend his life with her, but he couldn't. He ran further, knocking every woman over that he passed. He was searching, but he knew where she was. When he arrived, she was in a glass house. He stopped and only observed her. He never said a word. He never approached her. He only stood there, admiring her from a distance. Smiling at her when she looked at him. When she looked at him, he seemed to be backing up, farther and farther. It saddened her, but she was bound, unable to move to draw him closer. Suddenly, he was in my bedroom in my cottage, laying next to the woman he was running from. She turned over to face him. She was the same woman from the glass house. When I moved in to take a closer look at her. I gasped at the sight in front of me. It was me._

I jumped up in the bed. My heart was racing, and my mind was clouded. Tears were flowing down my face. Jake jumped up with me, looking at me. He pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly. "It's alright, Ness, it was just a dream. This is real. I'm here. Everything is alright." I heard what he said, but it only sent me deeper into my sadness. I love Jacob Black, but I can never have him. The realization hit me like a mack truck. My heart felt like it wanted to explode. Like I had just lost the love of my life, while never actually having him. Then, from nowhere, I felt anger come down on me, hard, from my loss. I broke his embrace, walking into the restroom, running the shower, and crying my eyes out. How will I ever be able to stay so close to him? How will I be able to watch him love another. What the Hell am I going to do?

**Alright you beautiful people, it's review time. It hurts my feelings when no one takes out the time to tell me that they love my stories, or if they hate it. Just a smile will do...anything.**

**Now, reviewing is better than riding on the back of Jake's bike, holding him close.**


	3. When A Man Loves A Woman

**Chapter 3: When A Man Loves A Woman**

**((((( Jacob's POV)))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N: Alright all...this is a recap of how Jacob viewed Nessie's day in the previous chapter. It's short, but pay attention...it's definitely building.**

I just don't know what came over me today. When I walked into Nessie's room after Alice fixed her up to talk to Edward, it was something about the way she looked in those fitted dark jeans and that emerald green t-shirt that made me feel a tidal wave of love for her. Honestly, she was dressed no differently than she dresses any other day...i think.

Granted, I have always loved her. She has been the center of my personal universe since the first time I first laid eyes on her six years ago. We have grown a deep relationship that compares to no other in her life. Even her parents. She trusts me with her life, and all of her secrets.

When she and I go too far in our adventures, Edward's punishment on us is always to separate us. He knows that there is nothing else that he can do to us that will have a lasting effect. He has never admitted it, but I know he envies the relationship Nessie and I share. It only compares to the one that he and Bella have shared for so many years.

Over the years, I have been her babysitter, her teacher, the one who taught her how to ride her first bike, her best friend, her protector, everything that she has ever needed. I have made every effort to ensure she be happy, and love her through everything.

For the past three months though, I notice her differently. I see her running through the woods during a hunt, and the way her hair blows in the wind is the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. Before she wakes up in my arms in the morning, I just lay there and stare at her. Admiring her for the exquisite beauty that she is. Even the way she eats her food at home. It sends warm chills through me. I know that she is still too young to pursue a relationship with her, so I will definitely need to find a way to slow myself down. Actually, maybe talking to Edward or Bella may help. No, bad idea. He would definitely separate us. And definitely no more sleep overs.

When she first voiced her opinions to me about going to school, my first thought was to scream no, but I know that siding with her father would cause a riff between us that I definitely do not want to have between us. I can only imagine how things would be with her going to school. She would be gone for eight hours out of the day. Boys would be beating her doors down, and our relationship would eventually disappear. She would no longer need me. I just couldn't have that, so I offered to go with her...for her protection of course...huh, really for my peace of mind.

When we told Edward, the look he gave me was priceless. He didn't believe I wanted to go back to school, but would do anything for his daughter. I offered to help her behave more like a human in the public to help him agree, but really, it would give me extra time with Nessie away from them. I wanted to deepen our bond before further involving outsiders that my try to rip her away from me.

A few days later, I was with Nessie and her mom and Alice came out to talk to her about boys and dating. It took everything I had to not jump up and begin cussing at them. I felt angry and disrespected for them even having that conversation with her. I just got up and left. To make matters worse, Blondie came out to add her two cents to the conversation. If I were Bella, I would not let her anywhere near my daughter, talking about boys. I walked into the main house. Emmitt was sitting in front of the television playing a video game on the Xbox.

"Em, want some company?" He looked up at me...strange.

"Sure, I haven't whipped you in a while. What's wrong with your face? Looks like Nessie stepped on it." His booming laugh echoing through the house. "Just tell her you love her already. Man. Get a backbone."

"Shut up, Em, just for that I'm kickin' your ass."

We played several games until Nessie came back, ready to clear her head from the conversation with her mother and aunts. We got into the car. Immediately, her scent overtook me. It smelled like lilac, honey, and some other wonderful scent. I have smelled her before, but today, she was in rare form.

We stopped at my cottage to change clothes, and Nessie decided she wanted to ride the motorcycle. I was dead set against it, but she looked at me with those beautiful chocolate brown eyes and any fight I had in me left at that moment. I actually agreed to let her drive. Thank god she changed her mind. I really did not want to fight with Edward right now.

After my cottage, we rode until we got to an Italian eatery. I noticed almost immediately that she seemed distant. Like she wanted to talk, but wouldn't. Her sudden complete change in attitude made me feel nervous, on edge. Like something was about to happen that I definitely would not like. I pressed a little to get her to talk, but she kept her distance from me. She did not want to sit by me, she kept her hands on her side of the table, and she never made eye contact with me. Once we finished, I decided to bring her to this beautiful meadow that I found this summer. I was waiting for the perfect time to bring her. I guess now is as good a time as any.

She absolutely loved the meadow. Actually, the meadow loved her. The butterflies that is. We walked to find the stream. I made an attempt to hold her hand like we always do, but she pulled away from me. I felt a deep rooted pain. Like a knife just jabbed me in the heart. My mind went racing. All I could see was that she was somehow unhappy and I was the cause of it. I did know what to do. She wanted no contact at all with me.

Our next stop was the Boardwalk. A place that I have brought her many times over the years. We ate and ended up at a street performance. It was really funny. When it was over, we sat with a group of kids talking about the show. Nessie seemed really interested in what they were saying, so I stayed with her. A boy noticed us and introduced himself. Brody Gamble. He seemed to be nice enough. My problem with him was the way he looked at Nessie the whole time we were talking. Like he was laying claim on her. He even offered to wait for her Monday morning in the parking lot to show her around the school. She was so giddy and cute with him. She even seemed to be flirting. I had to maintain my cool. I just walked off and took a seat. I could not take looking at that a moment longer.

We ended up sitting on the grass, eating our hot dogs and water. Every moment we seemed to be spending together today, she is withdrawing further and further away from me. I even sat next to her and he scooted over from me. When I asked again, she finally told me what was wrong. She felt like I am not dating because I am giving all of my time to her, and she wants me to date and find my imprint. I was...shocked. That is the best word I could find to describe my feelings. Honestly, I did not know how to answer her. After all, _she_ is my imprint. We just never told her because we wanted it to be her decision. Not some choice that was made for her when she was born. I want her to love me for me, because she chooses me. Because she wants to love me.

My heart sped up, I'm sure, three times its normal rate. My hands got all clammy, and I felt light in the head. This is what has been wrong with her. She plans on separating herself from me to give me an opportunity for happiness. I just can't let that happen, but I still don't think it's time to tell her yet, either.

I decided to answer her question honestly, and lighten the mood. I tickled her on the ground, making her laugh hysterically. It seemed to calm her down.

We played volleyball for a while after that, and headed for the car. I begged her to stop this crazy talk, but she refused. She even asked me if I expected her to do the same. What if she wanted to date? That knife turned a couple of times, but I quickly snapped out of it and told her that I would support her through what ever.

Later that night, I fell asleep in her bed. I was woken up by her jumping next to me. When I looked at her, tears were streaming down her face, and she looked pained. She refused to tell me what it was about, but somehow I knew that it had something to do with our conversations earlier this afternoon. This just seems to be getting worse and worse, and I don't know how to easily fix it. What will I do if she asks me to leave. How will I survive without her? The pain in my chest only seemed to increase, as I expanded my thoughts toward the future.

A/N: What did you think? Will Jacob have the heart to leave his Nessie? Will she even ask him to leave? Let me know what you think?

Review! Reviewing is better than having Jake on top of you tickling you...can't you just feel his thick muscles against you? All of them... :D

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!


	4. Stupid Me

**Chapter 4: Stupid Me**

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. I only obsess about them...**

**Summary: Jake's gone and Ness feels horrible for her actions. **

**To my readers: You are valuable to me, and I appreciate every moment you spend reading my stories.**

**From here on out, the chapters will be longer...the building to where I want to be is almost done...then comes hot, hot, hot...i hope you're ready! :D**

**Oh, I'm looking for a Beta...if anyone knows one, please let me know...**

Well, school starts in four days. I woke up this morning, excited, but sad. Jake was the first thing I thought about when I opened my eyes. Other than working with me on my human movements, we have spent no time together. He even goes straight home after our practices without a word. It hurts to see him like that, but maybe he has taken my advice and began looking for his imprint.

I know that I have been a real bitch to him the last week, but it seems like the only way to separate from him. Mom and dad have noticed a change in us and constantly asks us questions about what's going on. I haven't said anything to them. Frankly, it's none of their business. And, I guess Jake hasn't said anything either, or they would have stopped asking by now.

"Renesmee, come down here." Mom called.

As I made my way down the stairs, I heard mom telling dad to lighten up. To mind his own business. That we would work it out. I paused.

"Renesmee, I know you're right there, come in the kitchen." Dad requested. When I walked in, they both had huge smiles on their faces, and two small packages in their hands.

"What is that?" I asked.

"Well, we thought that since you had not seen your grandfather in a while, and you are starting school, which will take all of your time, that maybe you wanted to go and see him for a couple of days." They said smiling at me.

"Well, that would be cool. Why two?"

"Jacob, of course. You wouldn't want him to go with you?"

I paused for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. Really, I have never been to Forks without Jake, nor La Push. And, I know he would love to see his Dad and the Pack. But, this will not help with my mission. Spending alone time with him will only further confuse things for me. I took both tickets.

"I don't know. I'll think about it. When do I leave?"

"Tonight." My mouth fell open. "So, if you want him to go, you will need to decide immediately." Dad stated.

I just walked off. "Oh, thanks, Mom, Dad."

"Oh, Renesmee." Dad stopped me, pulling me into my room. "Your mother told me to stay out of this, but I have to tell you that you are being ridiculous. Jacob knows what he wants, and what he needs. Your actions are only hurting him and yourself. Just let it go. Please. He has been a very important part of this family, and alienating him will do nothing but run him off. Do you want that?"

"No, Dad, I don't. But you already know what the situation is for me, even though you keep asking, right?" He nodded his head. "Well, Dad, first, he is my friend. Then, he is a part of this family. Then, he still has an imprint out there that he has yet to meet. And, on top of all of that, I am in love with him. Do you suggest I pursue a relationship with him, and get my heart torn out further down the road?"

Dad's face cringed at my admittance of love for Jake. But he already knew, so what? "Renesmee. You need to talk to Jacob. He has a lot that he needs to tell you, if you want to hear it. But he will not have that conversation with you if he thinks you don't care for him, and you want him with another. Renesmee, do as I am telling you. You both will be happy you did." Dad turned and walked out the door.

What the Hell is that suppose to mean? A lot to tell me? He probably has already met her and has stayed away because of me. Even worse. I don't want to hear that either. I know that Dad has my best interests at heart, but he is wrong this time. I will continue on. Jacob will be happy.

I pulled my wireless phone out and called Jake. "Nessie!" He sounded so happy to hear from me. I hadn't called him all week. It warmed my heart to hear him still sound like that toward me.

"Jake, Mom and Dad bought us tickets to Forks. Wanna go? Tonight? We leave at nine."

"Well, yeah, who all is coming?"

"Just us."

"Ness, we need to talk. Can we before we leave?"

"Jake, just drop it, alright. Dad already spoke to me, and I have no interest in talking to you about that. Let's just live our lives and be happy. Can you do that?"

"Not without you, Renesmee. If you know, why wouldn't you want to talk to me about it?"

"Oh, I'm Renesmee, now? Look, _Jacob_. Do you want to go or not? I know your father wants to see you. What's your answer."

Jake paused for a long while. When he finally spoke, I could hear sadness in his voice. I mean, what does he expect me to do? I have already released him. We can still be friends if he wants. This is all getting way too complicated. "Nessie, I want to go...with you. Not separated. I love you. Don't do this. Please."

"Jake, I love you, too. I told you. Our friendship can stay in tact. Do you want that, too?"

"Of course, Nessie. I have to go." He hung up. If I didn't know better, it sounded like he was crying. And, when he told me he loved me, it sounded different from all the other times he's told me. I just sighed. Now, my mind is imagining that he loves me, too. The next few days can't go by fast enough.

Around five o'clock, I called Jake's wireless to see if he was ready to go to the airport. No answer. I called the home phone. No answer. So, I waited. I figured he was probably on his way to our cottage. I went downstairs and fixed myself a sandwich, then talked to mom and dad a while about school. Dad seemed to be coming around. He was happy with the progress I was making, so his earlier suspicions were all but gone.

"Renesmee, have you spoken to Jacob? It's time to go. You have to give yourself time to check in, just in case there are any hold ups." Dad asked.

"Yes, I called him, but there was no answer. I figured he was probably on his way here."

"Did you call both numbers?"

"Of course."

Dad jumped up, leaving out the door. Mom and I looked at each other and hurried behind him. "Dad, what's wrong?" He never answered. We just made our way to Jake's cottage on the edge of the property.

"I can't hear him anymore. Jake is always fluent in his thoughts. I never thought anything of it before. I thought that maybe he was just sleeping."

As we arrived as his cottage, we noticed that all of the lights were off, except one in the kitchen, and the front door was wide open. I rushed in, screaming Jake's name. No answer. When I made it to the kitchen, I was expecting to see him there, but all I saw was a note on the counter and his wireless phone on top of it. My heart dropped. I heard mom whisper Jake's name. Dad continued looking around the house.

I stepped toward the note, desperately _not_ wanting to know what it read. I paused. Tears running down my face. I looked at mom. "Renesmee, open the letter. It has your name on it."

"No, Mom, I can't. I know he left me. I just know." I burst out into tears, falling to my knees. Mom came over to comfort me. Cooing in my ear that everything would be alright. Begging me to just open the note. "Mom, you open it. You read it. Please Mom, I can't."

Mom retrieved the note, then returned next to me on the floor. She sat beside me and opened the note. She read it out loud.

"Renesmee,

These past six years with you have been the best of my life. I have grown so much, and learned to love you in a way that I have no other. I promised you many years ago that I would always be here for you as long as you wanted me to be. I promised I wouldn't leave until you sent me off. Over the past couple of weeks, I have noticed a considerable change in our relationship. I hoped that it would get better, but it seems that my presence in your life only makes life worse for you. I never want you to be unhappy, especially if I can do something about it. So, I'm leaving. I am going back to my home in Forks, and I promise to not contact you or cause you any more pain.

After our conversation earlier this morning, when you told me that you already knew, but still did not want to talk about it with me, I realized that the imprint was never meant to force someone into loving another, only to bond them, and keep each other happy. If I am no longer doing that for you, I will no longer push the issue.

I just wanted you to know that I love you with all of my heart, and I am so sorry for any pain that I have caused you. I wish you all of the happiness in the world.

With all my love,

Jacob

P.S. I also promised you this morning that I would always be your friend. I desperately still want that, if you do, but I need a little time to readjust my feelings, and move forward. I hope you don't hate me for leaving. I just couldn't take telling you goodbye face to face.

Mom looked at me, confused. I knew by the look on her face that she blamed me for him leaving. It was my fault. What have I done?

I grabbed the note from Mom, and read it, then reread it. "He couldn't have really left me. Did he Mom? He couldn't have." Tears flowing down may face. Mom just looked at me, tears in her eyes, also. Every time I reread the note, I felt a little piece of me breaking apart. I deeper hole in my heart. "What have I done." I looked up in the doorway. I saw a movement. I jumped to me feet to go greet Jake, but to my disappointment, it was only Daddy.

"Renesmee, baby, come here." I ran to Daddy. He held me close against his cool chest, while I cried, successfully destroying his white shirt. "Baby, I followed his trail about ten miles out, but I lost him after that. He must have phased when he left here. But he was headed north. Not back to Forks." That realization only hit me harder. He is really gone. What have I done? How will I survive without him? He feels like I hate him. Like I don't want him around. I felt my whole world crumble beneath me. My knees gave out, then everything went black.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

**((((( Bella's POV)))))**

"Edward Cullen, I told you to mind your own business. Renesmee is more than capable of attending to her own affairs. Your decision to speak to her yesterday influenced her conversation with Jacob, turning him away from her. All of us. You made me a promise. You lied to me!"

"Bella, please, hear me out. My intention was only to let her know that she was thinking wrong. That Jacob did not feel for her the way she thought he did. I told you and Jacob weeks ago to have the talk with her. I hear her thoughts, and feel her pain. It was all in vein. If she knew the truth, you both could have saved her from thinking wrong."

"Are you saying this is my fault! It was not my place to tell her anything. She is Jacob's imprint, and Jacobs job to talk to her about that. Besides, he made the decision to not tell her. He wanted her to love him on her own. By her own will. I did not influence that in any way. I only listened to him."

"Bella, don't you see. She does love him. With all her heart. Its been obvious for weeks."

"What! You knew that, and never told me or Jacob. That information would have changed everything!"

"I thought you knew. How could you miss it? She dresses different, she looks at him differently, and the weirdness in the way they acted toward one another was no secret."

"Oh, Edward. We have to find him. This is wrong. Very wrong. I will never forgive you if she never finds love with him. Go find Alice. Have her help you find Jake."

"What about Renesmee?"

"What about her? I still maintain that it's Jake's place to tell her. Not mine. Plus, it will only make things worse for her. How do you think she will respond to knowing that he has always loved her? That she is his imprint?"

Edward paused. "You're right. Carliyle has a friend, A'Layna, in the south that is an excellent tracker. I will try to find her. I heard she can find anyone, quickly. All she needs are some of their items."

"Edward, find her. Bring Jacob back to Renesmee. Even if you have to break his legs to get him here. I mean it. Bring him back."

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

As the sun shone on my face, and my body came to the realization that I was awake, I cringed as I remembered the events of last night.

Every thing that I did to help Jacob find his imprint has backfired on me. I only wanted to stop my selfishness, giving him to his destiny. I just knew in my heart that Jake would never leave me. Would that have been fair to him, or to me?

I curled deeper under my covers, replaying the note that mom read to me from Jake. Every time I thought about it, it sent warm shivers down my spine. It seemed like he was saying that he wanted to be with me, not his imprint. How could that be? I feel so confused, plus the pain that exists in my heart feels like something attached to me has been literally ripped away. I cried into my pillows, imagining is face, his smile, the love he always showed me. Maybe I was wrong. I never wanted him to leave, and I definitely did not want him to think I never loved him. He is all that I can think about. Everything I love.

Mom peeked in the door to see if I was awake. I didn't move, hoping she would just leave. "Renesmee, I know you're up. I heard the bed covers ruffling. Wanna talk?" I didn't answer, trying to conceal my sobs. "Alright, well, can I talk to you?"

"Fine, Mom. I know you just want to blame me for him leaving. For sending your best friend away. Go ahead, get it out." I said sarcastically.

"Renesmee! I will do no such thing. Pull your head out of those covers, right now." She said sternly. I pulled my head only from the covers, tears streaming down my face, pulling ragged breaths in.

"Yes, Mom?"

"Baby, your father left last night to find Jacob. He will bring him back to you. Everything will be OK, I promise."

"Mom, how can you make a promise to me like that. What if Dad can't find him? What if Jake doesn't want to come back?"

"Well, I told your father to break his legs if he refuses." She smiled. "Plus, Carliyle has a friend in the south that is a tracker and can find anyone. I sent Jasper with him to help keep Jake's mood under control once they do find him. Baby, you two need to talk. There are some things that happened many years ago that you don't understand, but Jacob has to be the one to explain them to you."

"Mom, Dad already told me something about that. When I refused to speak to Jake about it was when he left. I don't want to hear from him that he already knows his imprint, and has put her on hold because of me, or something crazy like that. I just couldn't take that. I can't. Mom I love him. Thinking about him with someone else pains me to no end, but I know that it's only fair to let him go. To be happy."

"Baby, is that what you think? Is that what you told Jake?"

"No, of course not. I never said that to him. I only told him I wanted him to be happy. To make himself available for her. To separate himself from me."

"Ohhh. He thinks you don't love him. Don't want him. The note kind of confused me when he talked about what you had said to him. Renesmee, I promise, everything will be just fine. In fact, perfect."

I interrupted her. "Mom, stop. You can't be sure."

"Alright, I'll lay off. But I can tell you this. Once you allow him to explain to you, your whole world will change, instantly."

"Mom, thanks, but can I be left alone. I can't do this right now."

"Alright, baby. Wanna hunt later? You haven't in weeks."

"No, not until Jake comes back. It will remind me too much of him."

"What about some eggs and bacon?"

"Fine, Mom." I just looked at her, silently begging her to just leave already.

As I lay there. I just got angrier and angrier. At myself for making him feel alienated, at him for leaving me, at my dad for coming to talk to me yesterday morning, and my mom for trying to give me false hope. I looked over at the calendar next to my bed. I have three days before school starts. Damn. I know I'm not going now. That is an experience that Jake and I was suppose to be sharing. I won't do it without him.

I never realized before this moment just how important Jake is in my life. Every experience I have ever had was somehow directly connected to him. Even the ones I planned to have in the future seemed equally as important to share with him. I know now that I can't just let him go. I love him too much. I need him. I will fight for us. I have to tell him how I feel, and let the cards fall where they may.

I heard a knock on the door. "Renesmee. Your father just called. He says he has met the tracker, and are on Jake's trail. The tracker says about six or seven days. He seems to be heading toward Canada."

I looked over at mom, and pulled the covers over my head, silently wishing she was right. It would be my biggest wish come true. To be able to wrap my arms around him again and tell him how much I love him. To actually hear that he loves me too.

The next three days went by in a blur. I never left my room other than to maintain my human side. I ate what ever mom cooked, and used the restroom. Unbelievably, after day two, I got up and took a bath, but that was it. We hadn't heard anything from Dad, Aunt Ali, or Uncle Jaz, and today is day three.

I feel myself getting nervous, my hands are clammy, my mind is racing, and I am beginning to doubt whether I will ever see my Jake again. While in thought, I began to feel warm tears rolling down my cheeks. The absolute feeling of hopelessness washed over me, pulling me under. In my mind, I saw my self in a hundred years, alone. Never falling in love. Always holding on to the hope that one day Jake would come back to me. I pulled my knees into my grip, allowing my heart to bleed for the loss of my love. The emptiness that followed brought my reality crashing down on me. I just laid there the whole day, knowing it was over. He was never coming back to me.

**((((( Jacob's POV)))))**

"Ness, we need to talk. Can we before we leave?"

"Jake, just drop it, alright. Dad already spoke to me, and I have no interest in talking to you about that. Let's just live our lives and be happy. Can you do that?"

Her words hit me with an intensity that could only compare to being hit by a vampire itself. I began to feel my world crashing down.

"Not without you, Renesmee. If you know, why wouldn't you want to talk to me about it?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm Renesmee, now? Look, _Jacob_. Do you want to go or not? I know your father wants to see you. What's your answer."

I paused for a long while, debating, fighting within myself to contain my emotions while speaking to her. She actually just said to me that Edward told her about our imprint, and she is not interested in talking to me about it, nor hearing about how I feel about her. I just can't imagine how we got here. Why all of a sudden she wants to be separated from me. All of the years that we've spent together, loving each other. It seems like in a day, everything has changed. I just love her so much, she makes my world make sense. "Nessie, I want to go...with you." I pleaded. "Not separated. I love you. Don't do this. Please." I begged. At this point, I can care less what I sound like to her. I'll be a love sick, begging, pitiful, poor excuse of a man without a backbone if I can get her to love me back. To let me explain. She has to know how much I love her and would do anything in the world for her.

"Jake, I love you, too. I told you. Our friendship can stay in tact. Do you want that, too?" She asked dryly.

"Of course, Nessie. I have to go." I hung up. By then, I was completely an emotional wreck. She may have heard me sobbing into the phone. I really couldn't care less. My heart feels like its been broken into a bunch of little pieces. How will I ever feel whole again? How do I go on from here?

She has been the center of my whole world for the last six years. All I've ever wanted was to make her happy. To love her unconditionally, forever.

The more I went over the conversation we just had, I felt my body tense up. Nothing seemed clear anymore. My future seemed to just disappear right before my eyes. I drug my body down the wall, sitting next to the phone, looking at it, trying to understand what happened to cause this dramatic change. Did she get mad when she found out that she was my imprint? Maybe she simply could never see herself with someone like me.

The realization of that sent my body into a feeling of nausea. I jumped up and ran to the toilet. I threw up everything I had on my stomach. When I finished, I felt even worse. "She doesn't love me." I whispered, feeling my heart literally breaking again. "How could I have loved two of them, and both be unable to return my love? I'm done." That's my luck. Fate has played a very cruel trick on me, and is laughing. Again. Again, I am left to myself.

I felt anger course through my veins. I jumped up and began pacing. "Fine, if she doesn't love me. If she refuses to hear me out. If she hates me, I won't stay here. I will not intentionally subject myself to any more pain. It's over. I'll go and rejoin my pack and live my life out as a protector. I know I'll never love another, but that's fine." I stood there with my eyes closed, considering what I was thinking about doing. Everything in me screamed no, no, no. Begging to not leave her. Needing to have some type of contact with her.

I walked around the cottage, looking at pictures of the two of us. We always looked so happy. Silly, goofy, beautiful. I stood there for what seemed like forever, considering the past weeks, silently asking the pictures what really happened.

"I have hurt her. My presence here for the past couple weeks have only made things worse for her. Maybe she's just growing up and wants to experience things on her own. Find love on her own. Live her life the way she chooses. Not like she was forced." Wow, I never considered that the imprint could actually turn against me. Huh, actually, I should have known. I'll never have someone to love me. Never experience the fullness of love.

I made my decision. I would leave.

Again, something broke within me. My body feels like an empty shell. Barren, void of any life that matters. She is everything to me. Without her, I'm nothing. Meaningless.

I got a piece of paper out, and began to write. I told her everything I felt, and apologized for making her unhappy. That never was my intention. Since the day she was born, all I wanted to do was love her. Keep her happy, and make a life for her that was full. I have sadly failed. Failed her in the worst way. Maybe my absence will fill the need she has in her life to be happy.

I grabbed the picture of us that we took just weeks ago, tied it around my ankle, placed my wireless phone on top of the note, and ran out the door. Tears of loss streaming down my face. Before I hit the concrete good, I phased and began running. Running in no direction. Just running. I had to get away from here before I changed my mind. I felt the bond that has held me here for years strain at the distance I was gaining. I had to go further.

Forks would never see me again, either. After all of these years of declaring my love for Nessie, hopeful that she would love me too, and having to go back there to face them, to have them pity me...I just wasn't having it. Its my life, my loss, my business. And I plan to keep it like that. I can live in the wild. Stay as an animal. No one will bother me. No one will question me. And best of all, I never have to fall in love again.

As I ran, the forest breezed by. I could smell deer in the air. While I was definitely hungry, the smell sickened me. I would probably not be eating for a while.

The air was cold. Must have been ten or fifteen degrees. I looked at the trees passing quickly by me, the sound of the lakes in front of me, then behind me. The animals quickly retreating away when they sense my presence approaching.

I guess this is how it will be for me. Alone, forever.

I ran for what seemed like days. I only ran and slept. Finally, after the second day, I ate. It didn't give me any satisfaction. While I finished the small animal, all I could think about was Nessie. How she looked when she hunted, the smile she gave me when she bagged to largest deer, how we would wrestle our prey for fun. I have to find some way to separate my memories from my life now. There is no room for that. If I keep it up, I'll just end up back there, begging her to reconsider. Losing any self respect I have left.

I approached a highway. Before I went forward, I smelled into the air, making sure that no one was around, and listening for oncoming traffic. When I finally stepped out, I saw a sign that said Yukon. Wow, have I really gone that far? I guess two days can bring you a good way, especially when you're running a full speed. I crossed the street, and began my path again. This time, I felt different from the run before. I thought again about begging her. Maybe that's what I should have done in the beginning. I should have just left my pride in the ditch somewhere, went to her, and begged her love. Begged her to consider me. Just the thought of doing that gave me butterflies in my stomach. Who cares what everyone will think. Who cares that Emmit will laugh at me for the next two years. It would all be worth it if she takes me back.

I stopped in my tracks. Am I really considering turning back around? Am I willing to try this? What if she blatantly refuses me again? Will I be able to take it without breaking down in front of her? Does she miss me? I paced back and forth, considering my questions. I finally decided to wait it out. I know that I am hurting too much for more rejection. It would break my spirit completely. Destroy me if she refused me. I found a spot deep in the woods, and slept.

I only dreamed of her. He was happy, in love, laughing, looking whole, complete. All without me. I woke up. A slow growl escaping through my teeth. Anger coursing through my blood...I can hate her. All of them. Return to who I really am. Who I was created to be. Forgetting who I am is what got me here anyway.

Maybe I could go back to Forks, explain to them that I have come to my senses, and regain my position in the pack. I turned around and ran back towards home. I could do this. If Edward or anyone ever came to get me, to demand I come back home, to their home, I would have my pack fight with me. I will never again return to live with those bloodsuckers. Ever.

Three days later, I arrived at the reservation. My father is overjoyed to see me, as I was him. The pack accepted my explanation, and I was back where I needed to be.

**((((( Edward's POV)))))**

We finally met up with A'Layna. She was a beautiful woman, but had the worst attitude I've ever seen on a woman. She reluctantly took Jacob's items and began in his direction. The days blurred together. I spoke to Bella a couple of times to give her updates and to check on Renesmee. There was no change with her. She had withdrawn into her own little bubble, only doing what she needed to do to survive.

In a way, I was happy for that. Everything would be better when we return.

The days past slowly. If seemed like we were going in circles. I don't know if we are on the wrong track, or if Jake is just roaming. We made it all the way to the Yukon, only to turn around and head back home. Yet, every time I call home, no one has heard from him. Two days later, we picked up on him around La Push. We instructed A'Layna to wait outside Forks for us, while we went in to speak to Jacob.

As we approached Billy's home, Billy rolled to the door, looking at us unhappily. "Jacob is not here." He stated. "And, he doesn't want to be found, so just leave. Go back to your family."

"Billy. I'm not leaving without speaking to Jacob."

"Edward, we have been more than gracious to you and your family on our land. If my son and your daughter no longer have a future, then all truces are off. The pack is on their way here now. I suggest you leave immediately."

"But, Billy, listen to me. This is all..." Was all I could say. I was thrown in the air with a force that set my instincts into motion. I took a defensive stance, along with Alice and Jasper. "Sam..."

"Now, Edward, you have been warned. Do you want to fight, or will you leave in peace?"

"Not until I speak to Jacob." I snarled. The pack looked back toward the street. Jacob had phased. He walked out as the wolf. His teeth were pulled back. A steady growl escaped his lips between his razor sharp teeth. He began taking steps toward me. "Jacob, listen to me. She was wrong. She loves you. It's all just..." Jacob quickened his pace toward me, causing Jasper to jump in front of me, then rolling down the hill with Jacob. The pack, myself and Alice left to face off. Alice and I ran down the hill toward Jasper and Jacob, still fighting. Finally, they separated to gain footing. We grabbed Jasper, and hit the woods.

"Edward, it's not use. They will kill us if we stay. We have to go." Alice said.

"That bastard. I should go back and kill him. We were family!" Jasper spitted.

"Alright, everyone. Calm down. Lets get outside Forks, grab A'Layna, and gain some distance between us and them, then we'll get a plan." I said.

"No, I will not go back there. Edward, you will not be able to get me off him next time. And, I don't want to go back to Nessie and tell her that I killed the man she loves. I'm sorry. I won't do that." Jasper was furious. His mind clouded with anger. Revenge.

Alice walked over to him, rubbing his back, pulling him closer to her. "Calm down. Jacob is still family, whether he wants to be or not. We just need to let time happen. He will come around."

"But what will we tell Renesmee? Bella?" I asked.

"Edward, the truth. That's all we have. The truth. He has turned against us. The pack was willing to kill us to protect Jacob."

I grabbed my head on both sides with my hands. "Bella will never forgive me for this. She told me. What am I going to do?" My mind went through a hundred different scenarios, but without me being able to civilly speak to Jacob, none of them would work.

We quickly made our way through the woods, meeting A'Layna. "A'Layna, thank you for all you have done for us, but we see now that it was all in vein. He refuses to speak with us, let alone come back with us. Let's go home."

We said our goodbyes, and headed back to Victoria, while A'Layna headed back to the South.

We arrived home in hours. I walked in the door to find the house empty. When I went to the kitchen, Bella and Renesmee had left a note...

Edward,

Renesmee was feeling better, so we went to the mall to get her some clothes and other items for school on Monday. Call us to let us know you two are home.

Bella

I took an unnecessary deep breath, then I quickly tried to figure out just how I would tell my wife and daughter that I failed them. Inside, I felt afraid. Afraid that Bella would not forgive me, and sad that I have let my Renesmee down in the worst way. I can't help but to think that maybe if I hadn't spoken to her that morning, that she would have been open to hear Jacob out. What am I going to do.

As I was trying to figure out just how to approach this whole thing, the front door flung open. Renesmee was first, then Bella. She had the biggest smile on her face when she looked at me. "Dad! You're back!" She ran to me, giving me a large hug. I just smiled at her. "Where's Jake?" She began looking around for him. "Jake!"

"Renesmee, sit down. I have to tell you something." Her smile fell off immediately. Tears immediately rolling down.

"He refused, didn't he. He hates me now." She put her head down.

"Edward, what happened! I told you to break his arms if you had to. Why did you come back without him?" Bella was practically screaming at me. It did something unimaginable to me. To date, we have never had any type of a disagreement, let alone her screaming at me.

"Dad...what happened?" Renesmee asked through sobs.

"Well, when we finally found him, he had turned around, and had made it to La Push. He had rejoined his original pack, and instructed them to no longer welcome any of us on their land anymore, and to fight us if necessary."

"What! Oh my god!" Bella screamed, grabbing her mouth. Renesmee just threw her head into her hands, sobbing louder.

"Yes. Then, Jacob attacked me when I was trying to explain to him what really happened, but Jasper jumped in front of me, and rolled down a hill with Jacob, fighting. It was just horrible. Alice and I were left to fight the pack, so we ran to grab Jasper, and left. We talked about ways to re-approach him, but there was no way to do it without possibly having to fight him to the death. We had no choice. Baby..." I placed my hand on Renesmee's back. "I'm so sorry. I failed you."

She shrugged my hand off her back, and stood up. "It's OK, Dad. If it's not meant to be, it's just not. I don't expect you to risk your life for me, neither do I expect you to do that ever again. You did your best. Just let it go, alright?"

"But..."

"Dad, Mom, please. All I can do now is try to move forward. I can't do anything else. I just have to live with my stupid mistakes." She took a deep, staggered breath, then turned to go upstairs to her room.

"Renesmee, wait..." Bella said. "What if you and I go there. They would never hurt either of us. We could get through to him."

"No! Absolutely not, Bella. Under no circumstances will I allow you and my daughter to go in harms way. You were not there. You did not see the look in their eyes. It was like it was many years ago when we were enemies. Everything has changed. Please believe me."

Bella fell to the floor, sobbing in her hands. She removed her shield to allow me to hear her thoughts. "Edward, we have to do something. Anything. We are a family, and family sticks together. We can't allow this. Please, do something."

I knelt down next to her, placing my arms around her. "Bella, my thoughts are hopeful. From what I know about the imprint, he won't be able to stay away from her for too long. Eventually, he will surface, then be willing to listen. He's hurt right now, and needs some time to cool off and think things over."

"But, what if you're wrong. What if he never comes back?"

"I'm not a betting man, but I would bet my fortune that I am right. Just give him some time."

"I'm going to check on our daughter. I'll be back."

"Bella, before you go...are you angry with me? Will you ever forgive me?"

"Yes, for both questions. But, I know you tried, and that matters even more to me. I know you love him too, like a son, and you don't want to see him away from us, either."

"Thank you, Bella. I love you."

"And I you, my love."

She walked toward the stairs to check on Renesmee.

**A/N: Alright, let's review. Let me know what you think. Even if its a one word response...yes...no...come on folks, give me something...**

**Reviewing is better than knowing that Jake loves you with all his heart...well, not really, but do it anyway...**

**Review, Review, Review...oh, I accept anonymous reviews, so...**


	5. I Can Do This

**Chapter 5: I Can Do This**

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. Neither do I own the poetry written in this chapter. The authors are listed as unknown. I also don't own any song or lyrics that are sung or played in this chapter. **

**Bragh Adair , "Alan's Song" is the song referenced to in this chapter. It's really a beautiful work. My seven year old listens to it. She thinks it's pretty. She dances to it – ballet form. It's so cute. My twelve month old looks at her, laughs and claps. I think that if my little ones can love the instrumental, then you'll love it.**

**When I was writing this chapter, I found my face full of tears. I remembered a loss that I felt similar to this when I was in my late teens, so it was easier to write. I hope that my words express how she felt with the right amounts of passion.**

I acted strong, even resolved, around Mom and Dad, but I really genuinely am far from that. It's taking every bit of strength I have to push my feet forward; step by miserable step. It's amazing how my decisions have caused the one person in the world who loved me unconditionally to turn away from me, and hate me. I just don't see how I can move forward. As I ascended the stairs, I felt my body internally tremble. Quaking at every step. Losing myself with each movement. The pain in unbearable. My loss insufferable.

Suddenly, I had my resolve. I won't let my mom and daddy know. I will shut everyone and everything down. I won't allow my feelings to come to surface. I will function in this life normally. At least as normal as I possibly can. This will be my own personal punishment for what I have done. I don't deserve happiness, so I will remove all traces of it. Now.

After I showered and prepared for bed, I pressed random on my iPod, and a really beautiful instrumental came on. It was "Alan's Song" by Bragh Adair. I hadn't heard it but once, and I was with Jake. It was maybe two years ago, and my dad was playing it. Jake asked me to dance, and I stood on his feet and he twirled us around the room. It was my first dance, and I remember Daddy being quite annoyed at Jake...well...really himself for letting Jake experience that with me first. I remember giggling loudly, and holding him tightly. When the dance was over, Jake placed me back on my feet and bowed before me, then threw me on the floor and tickled me. That memory was bittersweet. We were so happy then. Now, all of that is gone. No more firsts for me with him. Reminiscing of great times with Jacob flooded by thoughts. My body attempted to betray me, wanting to cry, scream, express my fears of growing without him...my pain. I quickly replaced the memories with emptiness. Even with the emptiness, my heart still missed him so much. I needed to have him near me, somehow. I got up and went to my closet to see if he left any of his clothes here. None. I felt like I would go crazy if I couldn't have in near me in some way. I felt panicky.

I got up, got dressed, and sneaked to the door. Hopefully Mom and Dad won't come up here to check on me. I listened to them. They were still talking, so I locked my door, turned up the music, raised the window, and jumped to the first floor. I took out toward Jake's cottage. When I arrived there, immediately I took in his musky scent. I stopped for a moment, taking him in. It made my heart feel warm. Like he was still here. He still cared for me. I entered the cottage, and went straight for his room. I pulled out one of his white t-shirts from a hanger, and closed the closet. I stood there, inhaling his wonderful scent, imagining how he looked in it. It wasn't enough. I crawled into his bed, and pulled the covers over my head. I stuffed the t-shirt with one of the pillows and snuggled close to it. Then, I remembered that I wanted to say something to him. I turned the night light on, opened the night stand, and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. I wrote...

_Jacob, _

_I welcome you with open arms my love...  
The clock is ticking, time exists  
but i still have the same dream every night  
You are here by my side although you are gone_

They may say i am a lunatic  
the clock is ticking my love  
No! I can not forget you  
I will never forget you

Fantasy overcomes reality  
Words become darker every day  
I can not read your thoughts  
please listen to me for one last time

_Renesmee_

I placed it back in the nightstand, turned the light off, and snuggled back with the pillow. I can't remember anything else after that.

**((((( Bella's POV)))))**

"Renesmee, open the door, baby. We can talk about this. Please, open the door." I pleaded with her, and knocked for what seemed like forever. Finally, I gave up. I figured she needed to come to grips with what just happened and needed time to her self to do that.

I walked back downstairs. Edward was on the phone with Esme. He was explaining what had happened. She wanted to come over to support Renesmee, but he told her to wait until tomorrow. To let her cool down a little.

I sat next to him on the sofa. "Edward. Do you really think it would be too dangerous for us to go. Jacob has been my friend forever. He would never hurt me. Never. And, he loves Renesmee. He may be mad, but he would never let anything happen to her. I'm sure of it."

"You may be right, but you still are not going there. You two are all I have. I can't just send you both there without knowing what would happen. Plus, you weren't there. You didn't see the look in his eyes. He was angry, wild, and definitely living off instinct. He never even attempted to hear me out. He just wanted to fight. He acted like we had done something wrong to him. Bella, it took every bit of self control I had to hold myself back, and Jasper back from killing him."

"What about Alice?"

"Remember, she can't see past Jacob. If he's involved, nothing is clear. Bella, please. Just let this go. Promise me. Promise you won't do anything reckless." He pulled my face up to his, silently pleading, but demanding my agreement.

I sighed. "Fine, Edward. What ever." But we knew. If things got too bad that this will be one promise that I plan on breaking.

That night, Edward and I went to the main house to talk to everyone. Maybe one of them would have a better idea on how to approach this.

Sunday morning, Edward and I went back to the cabin to check on Renesmee. We knocked on the door, screamed her name, and pleaded with her to let us in. No answer. Worried, Edward looked at me. "Don't you dare knock that door down." I whispered. "You will invade on her privacy, only making her more..." Before I could get anymore out, he was in the room. We both looked at each other. Renesmee was gone! The panic on Edward's face turned to fear, then anger. I knew exactly what he was thinking. She went back to La Push to reclaim Jacob. He sprinted out the house. I followed quickly behind him, grabbing my wireless off the counter. I called Jasper to come with us back to La Push. I instructed him to bring Emmitt and Rose. My stomach was in knots. Somehow, I knew this would not end right. How would I ever be able to fight my best friend. Let alone kill him. Oh, god, please let us catch up with her first.

Before we got off the property, Edward stopped suddenly. Jasper, Rose, Alice and Emmit quickly caught up. "What's going on, Edward?" I asked.

"I hear her. She's dreaming. Of...oh, my." I think if Edward could have blushed, he would've been four shades of red. "How did I not catch this last night? I guess I was so caught up in everything that I just wasn't listening." He looked down at me.

"Well, where is she?" I asked.

"In Jacob's cottage."

I began moving forward toward the cottage with Rose, but the men stayed behind. We entered quietly, not wanting to startle Renesmee. When we reached the bedroom, she was still asleep. She was snuggled close to a pillow with Jacob's t-shirt pulled over it. Her nose was buried in the pillow, and she had a smile on her face. Rose and I looked at each other, confused as to what we should do. I put my hand up to her, asking her to wait a moment. I walked up to Renesmee and sat on the bed. I softly stroked her hair, and rubbed her back. She began to wake up, moving, rubbing her eyes.

"Jake?"

"No, honey, its Mom. We were worried about you. We thought you had left. Are you alright?"

She looked at me, her eyes already puffy. She must have stayed up all night crying. Her eyes began to water again. "Mom, I'm sorry. I just had to be near him. I didn't mean to scare you." She buried her head in my lap, sobbing. "Mom, I miss him so much. I just can't look at anything or remember anything that doesn't remind me of him. Mom, I need him back. Please, Mom. I thought I could do this. Being strong, but I don't want to be strong. I want to be weak. I want to love him. I want to tell him. Mom, please, do something." She curled up beside me, trembling at my touch. Her pain was etched deep, and her need for him tangible. My heart broke for her. I remember the feeling of losing Edward this same way. I did not want to go on. I was broken. And, I wanted to stay like that. The pain reminded me of him. It reminded me that he was real. I gasped at the realization of what was happening before me. I couldn't let her go through that. The pain is enough to kill you. In her case, they both love each other, but the other doesn't know. I knew I had to do something, but I knew it would be difficult. Edward would never willingly go for it.

I hugged my baby. "Renesmee, I promise, somehow, we will work this out. Please, just hold on. Mommy's here."

Most of the day went the same way. She cried, she got another t-shirt when that one lost his smell, she begged us to do something to get him back. She also never wanted to leave the bedroom. She and Edward passed words about her leaving the cottage. He wanted her back home, but I took him out, pleading with him to just let her be for now. He backed off, but I knew that tonight, the issue would resurface.

"Renesmee, school starts tomorrow. Are you still considering going?" Alice asked, smiling, trying to change the subject. Renesmee looked at her puzzled. "What?"

"I never want to leave this room. Not until Jacob comes back." She pulled the covers over her head.

"Nessie..." Alice walked over, uncovering her face. "You will have to leave this room. Besides, I agree with your mother. This will all work out, and all of this will be in vein. So, do you want me to come with you?" She said a bit too chipper.

"I don't know. We were suppose to experience that together. How could he just leave me, Aunt Ali? Didn't he know I needed him? Loved him?"

"Nessie, I can't answer that. But I do know one thing. He loves you with all of his heart, and he will not be able to stay away from you too long. Anger is one thing, but issues of the heart is another. And, his heart wants you. Trust me."

"Oh, Aunt Ali, I want to believe you and Mom, it's just so hard. How will I function if he never comes back?"

"Now, Nessie, I just told you to stop thinking like that. It's silly. Now, let's get out of this bed, and get our things ready for tomorrow." Alice swooped Renesmee up, and sprinted back to our cottage, and up to Renesmee's room.

Somehow, Alice did it. She got my daughter out of her funk. She even got her to agree to go to school tomorrow. Later, I will have to thank Alice. It's so great to have a sister that really cares about you and your family and their happiness.

Alice placed Renesmee in the shower, successfully taking the pillow from her, and placed it on the bed. She pulled out every piece of clothing Renesmee and I bought last week. She began pairing them, talking to herself about what colors would look best on Renesmee the first day, how her hair should be, and so on. I began drowning her out. I was definitely excited to get Renesmee out of that bed, but fashion, make up, color coordinating, blah, blah, blah just isn't my thing. I walked out to find Edward.

Later, I returned to Renesmee's room. Alice had her trying on the outfits and accessories that she picked, still trying to figure out which one was best. I saw the look in Renesmee's eyes. She was playing the part for her aunt, but she was far from entertained. Honestly, I didn't care. Playing the part or real, I just needed to see her living. Functioning at some capacity. I knew how she felt. She would need constant supervision. Without her current state of sadness, she is already dangerous. I'm sure now, she will add reckless to the list of things to do. Huh, I wonder where she gets that from.

When it was time for Renesmee to go to bed, she insisted on sleeping at Jake's cottage. Edward wasn't having it.

"There is no way my daughter is sleeping two miles away from me, alone. Jacob or no Jacob. It's bad enough that she snuck out the house last night. Bella, what would you like me to do? Just turn my head, not be able to protect her?"

I walked closer to him, attempting to ease some of the tension between us. "Edward, baby, what if Alice and I slept there with her? She would be protected, and not alone."

"Oh, so now, my family will be split up. What next, you, Renesmee and Alice will sneak off to La Push after I won't agree to let you go. Bella, I feel like I'm losing my family in the mist of Jacob's leaving. Renesmee hates me. She won't even look at me. Now, you're leaving me..." He put his head down into his hands after taking a seat.

I walked over to him, rubbing his back. I took a seat on his lap. "She doesn't hate you. She is grieving her loss, baby. He has been her whole world for as long as she can remember. It's hard to love someone with all of your being, and watch them leave your life, possibly forever."

He looked up at me. Sadness riddled in his eyes. He realized what I was talking about. He put his head back down. "Bella, I know what I did to you. I'll never forgive myself for that. I'm so sorry." He hugged my waist, burying his face in my chest. I hugged him back.

"Edward, look at me. I love you. You are my whole life. You always have been. In fact, I would do it all over again. When I saw you step out of the clock tower, I knew at that moment that my love for you deepened beyond any feeling I had ever experienced in my life. I would have given my life for you that day. And I will do it a hundred times over again for you. So, never apologize for leaving. We formed a bond after that, that was much stronger than before you left. We made new commitments, and we got Renesmee after that.

I only brought it up to remind you that I understand her feelings. I know how low you can allow yourself to get before you hit the bottom. And, I don't want our daughter to become anymore reckless than she already is. I need you to be patient while I take care of her. I will also need your help to love her. To try to understand her pain. Can you do that for me? For her?"

He pulled me in tighter. "Of course I will. And thank you, Bella. For loving me, even when I clearly didn't deserve it. I'll do as you ask."

I kissed his lips, thanking him for understanding. When he grabbed my face, deepening the kiss, I knew I had to get out of it before we went too far. I pulled away, pushing his chest gently away. "It'll be time for that. Can we pick this up tomorrow morning after Renesmee goes to school?"

"What? She's going to school? Since when?"

"Since your sister talked her into it." I smiled. He looked at me in complete surprise.

"She is definitely a miracle worker." We both laughed. He released me, giving me one last kiss. "You know those words you just spoke to me light a fire in me that I will have to put out on you?" I smiled, picking my eyebrow up.

"Oh, really. I'm up for the challenge." I stood to my feet and went up to retrieve Renesmee and Alice.

The night went by fairly uneventful. Renesmee assumed her position in Jake's bed with his pillow and another of his t-shirts. She appeared to be quite a bit more relaxed than she's been the past few days. I think that Alice's excitement is catchy, and is hard to ignore. Especially being around her a full day consistently cheery. Renesmee never saw it coming.

Alice and I were playing chess when we heard Renesmee in the other room. She was sobbing. We heard sheets being moved, and a faint whisper. "Jacob, please, come back to me. I'm sorry. I love you. Please." Alice and I looked at each other. Wondering if we should go in and comfort her or not. We decided not to. We won't always be around when she gets in one of her moods, and she will have to learn how to deal with her loss. Her sobs continued well into the morning.

The next morning, Alice left to get dressed, and was back before I was able to miss her. We both went into Renesmee's, Jacob's room to get her up and ready. Needless to say, she was in a horrible mood, and initially refused to get out of the bed. After Alice poured an ice cold glass of water on her head, she quickly reconsidered after looking in the face of another full glass. Her mood never improved, but at least we got her up and in the shower. She took her sweet time with that too, but it was fine. We had three full hours before school started. She didn't know we had reset all the clocks to make her think she was running late. I'm sure that she will be less than happy with us for doing that, but we both know Renesmee, and we knew that she would try everything in her power to get out of school this morning. Alice and I just looked at each other, giggling under our breath.

Renesmee came out. She was soaking wet and naked. "Mom, Aunt Ali, I can't do this. I can't fake a smile for those people today. Please. Can I go tomorrow? Can I have one more day?"

"Nessie, come on. Tomorrow, you will have the same issues you have today. Nothing will change. Come here." Alice took her back in the bathroom and dried her off, sat her down, then dried her hair. Alice's hands were moving so fast that even with my improved vision, I had problems following just how she got Renesmee's hair to curl and pin. When she was finish, she applied a small amount of makeup to Renesmee's face, then began dressing her. I went to the kitchen to cook her some eggs and bacon.

When Renesmee stepped out, she looked completely different than she did just an hour ago. Alice had covered the dark rings around her eyes from crying all night. Her eyes were no longer red, and her face looked renewed. Even the pout that Renesmee was giving made her look even more beautiful. Alice dressed her in a dark pair of jeans, a skin tight emerald green t-shirt with a half jacket to cover up her upper body. She had on emerald green short boots with heels and the toes exposed to complete the ensemble.

"Ready to eat, baby?" I asked.

"What ever." She sat down and ate everything I put on the plate. I knew she was only appeasing me. She probably never tasted the food. She simply put it in her mouth and swallowed. I felt so bad for her, but looked forward to her at the end of the day. Maybe being around people would soften her mood.

As she and Alice got in Edward's black Mercedes G550, Renesmee looked back at me, pleading with me to not make her go. She walked back to me and hugged me. I never said a word. There was no way I was agreeing for her to stay in a dark house all day for the next how ever many months. "Renesmee, baby, have a great time at school. I know you'll love it." I kissed her on her forehead. "Love you." She let me go and turned around to the car. She never said another word.

**Well, at least we got Nessie out the house. Stay tuned to see what happens at school. I promise it will be interesting...to say the least.**

**Now, review...my feelings are beginning to be hurt. No one thinks enough of my poor little story to tell me a word? I'm beginning to lose interest in it, and will stop it here if you don't think it's worth a follow or a review. **

**This story is set to be probably twenty five chapters, but I won't go that far if no one is interested in it.**


	6. My First Day Of School

**Chapter 6: My First Day of School**

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. Neither do I own the poetry written in this chapter. The authors are listed as unknown. I also don't own any song or lyrics that are sung or played in this chapter. **

**A/N: Hello again...I'm feeling generous this weekend. The character chapters are winding down, and I'm excited about the loving, sexual nature of Miss Renesmee. Trust me...you will love it. **

**To my readers/reviewers: Thank you for your reviews and PMs. Any time that you spend reading my thoughts and taking out time to let me know what you think is always appreciated. **

**My favorite stories: I've been reading a couple of great stories by really great writers, and in my next chapter posted, I will give a shout out to them. I'm unprepared to do that right now, so be on the look out. Wait...I remember one of them. This writer appears to be some type of literary major and has a vast use of the English language. I'm ashamed to say that I opened up the merriam-webster site online to understand what in the world those words meant...lol...it definite kept me on my toes, and horny as hell throughout. It's a story of a sexually addicted Edward, and a sexually abused/sexually 'unable' Bella, meeting, trying to fix each other. It's written by Julesnerd, and the name is "Failure To Thrive." Trust me...you'll love it. It isn't finish, but she has twenty plus chapters posted already.**

Damn, she is really making me do this. Don't they understand that I need to feel this pain. I need to remember him. It reminds me that he was real. That all these years meant something. I don't want to ignore my feelings for him anymore. I want to shout it from a roof top. I don't care anymore. I just want my Jake back.

Aunt Ali and I arrived at Victoria High at... "Wait...how are we on time? The clock at Jakes said we were an hour and a half late." Aunt Ali just looked at me with her eyes batting at me, smiling partially. I knew then what they had done. They tricked me. All of my efforts this morning were in vein. Their deception infuriated me. "Aunt Ali. I don't appreciate being made a fool of. It's not funny."

"Nessie, we never meant to make a fool of you. We only wanted to allow you enough time to get prepared without us or you getting frustrated while having to rush. I'm sorry. You forgive me?" She looked over at me smiling innocently.

"I guess Aunt Ali. Thanks for doing this with me. I definitely wouldn't have come alone." I looked over at her, giving her a smile of appreciation.

"No problem, honey. I'm glad I can help. You know you're my favorite niece, right?"

"I'm your only niece." We both giggled at that thought. "Aunt Ali, honestly, do you think I have a chance at happiness with Jake? Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"

"Absolutely, a hundred percent. Nessie, stop worrying. You have my word as your Aunt and someone that truly adores you and Jacob. He will be back, and these problems that seem so large will dwindle and disappear as soon as you two see each other. Now, today, lets focus on getting through or classes. Wanna have a competition?"

I giggled. "Competition?"

"Yes. Let's see who can meet the most friends. Edward and I usually count how many people look at us strangely. The winner is usually the one who got the most strange looks. But today, let's see who can speak to the most people. It only counts if they smile and speak back. Wanna do it?"

"Sure. I already know you'll win, but OK."

When we pulled up in a parking spot. All eyes were on us. Well, not us, but this truck. I looked around to assess the types of vehicles that were parked around the lot. My heart began to speed up. I looked at Aunt Ali. "Nessie, don't worry about that. We have plenty of money. And, we will not apologize or feel bad for what we have. These things are only trinkets anyway. Something to pass time with. Now, put your head up and walk out of here with confidence and a smile. And, remember what you have learned. You speak, walk, run, move as a human. Alright?"

"Alright Aunt Ali."

We both stepped out of the truck together, catching the eye of every student in the parking lot. If this wasn't awkward, I don't know what is. As we met up behind the truck, we turned toward the school and began walking toward the entrance. Behind me, I head a voice calling my name.

"Renesmee! Wait!" I turned around, wondering who could possibly know my name. It was Brody Gamble. The boy I met on the boardwalk with Jacob. He greeted me with a huge, warm smile, and arms stretched wide open to pull me in his embrace.

"Hello, Brody. It's good to see you again. I forgot about our deal to meet out here. How are you?"

"I'm fine." He said, seeming a little out of breath. "It's good to see you again. Where's Jacob?"

"He decided to home school, so I brought my...sister... with me instead. This is Alice Cullen. Alice, this is Brody Gamble. We met a couple of weeks ago on the boardwalk."

Alice looked at me with her brows furrowed down. "Nice to meet you Brody Gamble. I'm glad to know at least one person here. Is everyone nice here?"

"Well, not everyone, but stick with me, and you'll be fine. They'll mind their manners. I'll make sure of it." He smiled down at me, catching my gaze, almost making me blush.

It was hard to not look at him. He was so tall. His skin was tanned and smooth. His eyes were so deep and colored, that they seemed to hold mysteries, and his chiseled abs through his fitted t-shirt left nothing to be imagined. He was truly easy on the eyes. Second only to Jake.

Aunt Ali put her hand on my lower back, pulling me from my reverie. She looked at me, silently asking what I was thinking about. I just looked at her and shrugged my shoulders. "Brody, can you show us where the office is so we can get our schedules?"

"Sure, come on." As we walked, he showed us the different buildings where classes were held. He also named each one, letting us know which subject was in each. As we went on, we met two of the people that were on the boardwalk.

"Hello, Legend." I greeted her.

"Hello, Renesmee. It's good to see you again. Are you excited?"

"Yes, I guess. Look, I want to introduce my sister, Alice Cullen. We're in the same grade. She'll probably share classes with one of us at some point."

"Hello, Alice. Nice to meet you." Alice smiled.

"Hello, Legend."

"You two will love it here. Plus, you already have friends. You're one ahead of most newcomers already." She smiled at me and Aunt Ali. She seemed fairly shy, but very welcoming. Her demeanor was sincere, and she genuinely seemed pleased to consider us as friends. I felt comfortable with her, safe. Somehow, I immediately knew that we would be the best of friends.

"Alright, alright, Legend, go to class. Come on Renesmee, Alice." Brody quickened his pace to the office. "We don't want to all be late for class on the first day." He chuckled, turning the corner to the office. "Mrs. Brandon, this is Renesmee and Alice Cullen. They need their schedules, please." He smiled at her while making his request. She seemed paused for a moment as she listened to him and diligently watched his smile. Suddenly, she snapped out of it, grabbed our schedules, and handed it to him, while never breaking eye contact with him."

"Here ya go, Mr. Gamble. Take good care of these lovely young ladies." She smiled at us, then him.

He turned, grabbed me by my hand and rushed out the door. I grabbed Alice's hand while giggling the whole way out. He stopped when we turned the corner, studying the three schedules. "Renesmee..."

"Will you just call me Nessie? Friends call me Nessie."

"Alright, Nessie, you have two classes with me, one with Alice, and two with my sister, Legend. You'll like her. She never changes. What you see is what you get with her." He looked at Alice.

"Alice, come on, I'll walk you to your first class, then Nessie and I will go to ours." As we walked, he showed her her next class that we all shared, Biology. It looked like all four of us was in that class together. I'm sure it'll be interesting.

We arrived at Alice's class. She gave us a big smile, then hugged me. "Have fun Nessie. Love you." She disappeared in her Math class as we rushed down the hall and out a door to the next building. When we arrived in class, everyone paused and looked at Brody and me. He placed his arms behind my shoulders and guided me forward toward the teacher's desk. Our teacher, Mrs. Sams, looked at the two of us. She seemed annoyed, but quickly covered it with a smile and a request for our schedules. She checked us off and told us to choose the seats we preferred. The front seats were available, but I refused them. I wanted to be more in the middle to be able to see around me. Brody chose the seat directly next to me.

I noticed in my peripheral view, a cute, brunette girl passed him a note. He never acknowledged her presence, nor her note. He only swept it to the floor, never moving his eyes off me. He made me a little uncomfortable, but I knew from Aunt Ali, that everything about me would attract these boys. I just need to quickly set some boundaries. I knew immediately that Social Studies would definitely be very...interesting.

When class was over, the cute brunette girl grabbed Brody by the arm, stopping him from exiting the classroom with me. I was a little put off because I was depending on him to lead me to class. Oh, well. I continued on. I looked down at my schedule, and remembered where he showed Aunt Ali where her, our next class was. Behind me, I heard voices being raised, then a door slammed. I paused and looked back, trying to see what had just happened. I saw the brunette give me the evil eye, then storm off in the other direction. Brody had the most annoyed, maybe even angry, look on his face. He noticed me looking at him. I quickly looked away then turned around and headed for Biology.

"Nessie, wait." He jogged to me. "Sorry you had to see her acting like that with you. We dated over the summer, and already she assumes I've left her because of you." He shook his head. "Let's go to class."

"Brody, you didn't do that...did you?"

He looked at me, smiling shyly. "No, Nessie, of course not." He chuckled. "We've been over since that day on the boardwalk. She's way too jealous and controlling. She makes me feel like I can't do anything right."

"Oh, because I have a boyfriend. I just wanted to make that known."

"I know...Jake, right?"

"Yes." The walk to class was quiet, strained, awkward. I know I should have approached it with more discretion, but why beat around the bush? He needed to know.

We passed some of his friends, and stopped to talk to them. He introduced me, and told them to welcome me and my sister to the lunch table if he is late arriving. Everyone seemed nice, but the way they all looked at me gave me the creeps. I couldn't place it, but I knew to watch myself with his friends.

As we continued our stroll to class, he looked down at me and smiled. "Nessie, I have to come clean with you before I destroy our friendship." I looked up at him, furrowing my brow, pausing to hear what he had to say to me. "Nessie, the day I met you on the boardwalk, I saw something in you that I liked. At the time, Savanna _was_ my girlfriend. When I found out that you were coming here, I broke it off with her immediately. That day, she was within the group, and she saw my reaction to you, and heard the conversation. I did break up with her to try to pursue you, and she knows. I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you and Jacob were an item. I would never intentionally try to come between the two of you. Do you forgive me for this mess? I'll make sure she keeps her distance from you." He half smiled at me.

I took a deep breath. "Wow...really, its not your fault. That day, Jacob didn't even know I loved him. We _were_ just friends then. A lot has changed since that day." My eyes began to water. I looked down, trying to hide my obvious pain. I knew that if Jacob didn't recognize my love for him, then Brody definitely would not have. I sighed again, wiped my eyes and looked back up at Brody. "So, there is nothing to apologize for. Just don't ignore her like you did this morning. It hurt her, and it's rude. Alright?" He smiled and shook his head. "Still friends?"

"Absolutely." He leaned over and hugged me. "I know you don't know me, but I won't ever betray your trust in me. That's why I came clean. Next time, I'll ask you if I want to know something." He smiled at me. He seemed so genuine and trustworthy. If he only knew the real status of my relationship with Jake, he would probably go forward with his plan. But right now, I can't have that. I would only hurt him. When Jake comes back, I'd never stay with Brody.

"Alright, Alright...enough of the corny. Lets get to class." He grabbed my hand and ran through the halls to Biology. He bumped into people, stepped on feet and knocked two people's books out of their hands on his way to class. I knew it wasn't right what we were doing, but I liked it. I liked the carefree attitude and confidence he displays. I giggled all the way to class. Maybe we will be great friends after all.

When we got to class, it wasn't full yet, so we were able to secure just about any seat we wanted. Aunt Ali hadn't arrived yet, so we saved her a seat in front of me, along with Legend next to her. Of course, Brody sat next to me.

We got our notebook and pen out, preparing for the bell to ring. Brody leaned over. "You know that you have to partner up in Biology to complete some assignment. Would you be uncomfortable pairing up with me away from school sometimes? If not, my sister or Alice could sit with you." I thought for a moment on what he asked. I looked over at him. His face was awaiting my answer, but dreading it at the same time.

"That's fine. I think we'll be great friends. Jake will like you. It'll be alright." He furrowed his brow then returned his beautiful smile.

"That's great Nessie. It's something about you that makes me want to be around you. Even just as friends. Maybe I'll start talking back to Savanna. It was rude and premature how I treated her. Maybe we could all be friends."

Right before the bell rang, Aunt Ali walked in with Legend. They were talking and laughing, seeming to have kicked off a great relationship. Besides, who wouldn't love Aunt Ali. She is absolutely contagious.

The class began as the other did. Our teacher, Mr. Billy, introduced himself, and did a quick run through of what we should be expecting from him and the class. Then, he made us all stand up and introduce ourselves to five people, hug, and exchange phone numbers. Well, cell phone numbers. He said he didn't want anyone giving our home numbers to anyone. It wasn't safe if you didn't know the person. We did as he asked. Of course, I met Brody, Legend, and three others that were Brody's friends. Denali, Leslie – who was a boy, and Brittan.All three were they boys from the hallway earlier. When they hugged me, it made me want to go take two more showers. Yuck! Aunt Ali looked over at me when they introduced themselves to her. She must have felt the same thing I did. I wrinkled my nose at her. She gave me a "watch yourself" look.

When class was over, Alice went the opposite direction to her next class, and Brittan came up to me. Brody was talking to Savannah outside the classroom, so I continued on with Brittan. "So, Renesmee..."

"Nessie, please."

"Nessie, are you liking it here so far?"

"Yes, everyone seems to be very nice, so far." Well, almost everyone. Brittan and his crew seemed creepy to me. But, anyway. "I hope every one is." I smiled at him. Soon after, Aunt Ali caught up with me.

"Nessie, I went the wrong way. French is this way. Some mean individual pointed me in the wrong direction. That is so not funny." She said a bit too annoyed.

"Ah, Aunt...I mean Alice. Don't be like that. They were just having fun with you. Lighten up." I looked at her, silently apologizing for calling her Aunt.

"Alice, can I see your schedule?" Brittan asked.

"Alice, you have class with me. It's right here. Renes...I mean Nessie..." He smiled. "Your schedule?" I handed it to him. "You have French next door. I'll see you after class, bye."

When I took another step, Brody was in front of me, smiling. "Where are you going? We have class together."

"No, we only had two classes together. Well, I was wrong. My mother wanted me in French this year, since next year is my senior year. I've been putting it off for the last two years. So, here I am. She called this morning to have me put in. Let's go. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into class.

Needless to say, he sat next to me, again. He seemed so happy to be in here. Girls and guys were coming over, speaking to him, but he barely acknowledged their presence. He spoke, but didn't instigate any further conversation. His total attention was on me only. _I mean it's endearing and all, but get over it. We will never be._

"Brody..." I smiled at him. "Remember we had this conversation. Don't be so rude to your friends. They will only end up hating me and making my life here hard. Please, stop what you're doing."

He looked down at his notebook and pen, remaining silent. The tardy bell rang. Our teacher Mrs. Finch began her speech that the other two had in my previous classes. Brody finally looked up at me, opened his notebook and wrote:

_Renesmee, _

_Please forgive me. I am so drawn to you that everything fades away when we're talking. I'll work on it. I promise. Please don't stop being my friend._

_Brody_

I read the note and looked over at him. He had the cutest look on his face. It made me want to touch it. But instead, I wrote:

_Alright, but if you don't fix this, I will be forced to thrash you._ _ :D_

Brody chuckled out loud, forgetting we were in class. The teacher looked our way, but I had already looked down at my notebook, copying from the board her name and phone number. She informed us that she would eventually be speaking only in French as the months pass, so it was in our best interest to study and practice everything she gives us, otherwise we won't be able to keep up. Little did she know, my father taught me French, fluently when I was two years old. When she began speaking to us in French, then translating in English, I smiled. I knew then that my French far surpassed anything she thought she knew, but we'll see. I'm sure Daddy will be interested to hear this.

Brody looked over at me while I was smiling. He wrote:

_What's so funny?_

I wrote:

_Well, I know French fluently. Spoken and written. Her version of the French language is interesting. _

He smiled.

_Well, I know who I'll be cheating off._

We both giggled quietly.

My next class, Math, was finally not with Brody, but with Alice. We sat all the way in the back. Last row.

"Nessie, what's the deal with Brody? He likes you?"

"You can tell, huh? I told him I'm already spoken for. He says he understands, but his actions say something totally different. Plus, he had a girlfriend. He broke up with her when he met me at the Boardwalk with Jacob. She was really mean to me this morning. I didn't even know what was going on." I whispered.

Alice's mouth dropped open. "Nessie! What did you say to him when you met him?"

"Nothing. I was with Jake. Brody just told us that we would be going to school together, and he would show us to our classes, like he did."

"Wow..." She giggled. "The new dramas of high school. You are just like your mother. She brought drama with her immediately. Her first day, also." We both giggled at that. I had heard this story a hundred times. I just never imagined I would do the same thing. "What about his other friends? They creep me out. It's something about them that makes me uneasy. But for some reason, I don't get that from Brody. We both have to watch out for his friends until I figure out what the deal is with them."

"Can't you see forward with them?"

"Well, when I try, I see their faces, but it gets all jumbled up, so I don't know what it means. We'll find out soon enough though. Maybe I can try with Edward. Maybe he can see something I can't. And Nessie...I'm serious. Don't be alone with any of them. They may try something and make you have to reveal who you really are. Remember...always stay safe."

"I will Aunt Ali. Thanks."

Math went by easily. Lunch was next. I was glad I had someone in class with me that I knew before lunch. Somehow, I knew that lunch would be sectioned off, and I didn't want to get embarrassed by sitting at the wrong table by myself.

Right before we reached the lunch room, Brody called Alice and my name, running to catch up with us. "Hi, girls. Ready to eat?"

We both smiled, knowing we didn't want anything they would be serving at this place. But we still grabbed a tray and pilled it with a few things to show face. I actually grabbed me an apple and a dry roast beef sandwich. When I was picking up meaningless food, I remembered that I hadn't hunted in over a week, so it was important to stay filled. Plus, the eyes that Aunt Ali gave me helped get my mind right. I just smiled at her.

"Nessie, Alice, come sit over here." Damn, his creepy friends again.

"Hello everyone, again." Everyone spoke to me and Aunt Ali. They went on with meaningless chatter most of lunch. Aunt Ali and I just politely smiled, and answered questions when asked to us. Their conversation held no interest to us, until they began talking about dirt bikes. They had a professional course that Brody's dad had made some years ago for recreation, and he made money charging people to ride bikes on his land. They said it was about forty acres full of trails.

Brody looked up at me, noticing my peaked interest in his conversation. Aunt Ali kicked my leg. I looked over at her. "Aunt Ali, wouldn't you like to go ride our bikes sometime?" She frowned deeply at me.

"No, Nessie, I wouldn't. Dad doesn't like us riding those things. You never show restraint. I'm not getting in trouble for you." I knew what she meant. Daddy would never let me go. Not even with her. He hates me riding. Huh, I'll ride, one way or another.

"Restraint?" Brody asked. "What does she mean restraint, Nessie?"

I smiled shyly. "I am a really good on the bikes, but I love speed and tricks. It gives me a rush. Jake and I ride now and then, but my daddy hates me on them. He caught me one time racing Jake. I haven't rode since." I said sadly.

He leaned over and whispered I my ear. "Well, maybe we'll have to do something about that."

"I heard that, you jerk! Don't go getting my sister hurt. Stay away from her and any bikes!" Alice demanded.

Brody threw his hands in the air. "Alright, alright, sorry. Man. No bikes."

I looked over at Aunt Ali. She was definitely pissed at him for purposely trying to convince me to defy my father. What she didn't know was that I've been riding the bikes. Every chance Jake and I got.

I turned my head toward Brody. It was something about him that made me want to be bad. To break all the rules. To live free. I knew in my heart that this was bad, but my head wanted more. I actually imagined the both of us sky diving or riding a bull. I giggled to myself. I'm so glad that daddy doesn't come to school here. But, Aunt Ali is here, so I'll have to watch my decisions. After the conversation today, I'm sure she'll be watching me very closely from here on out. I sighed at the thought.

When lunch was over, Aunt Ali left immediately got up to leave. Brody showed her the building she had her next class in, and it was a ways away, so she left early to make sure she made it in time. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Brittan has that class with her too. I think he likes her. The way he runs up behind her is endearing, but still creepy. She, of course, pays him no attention other than answer an occasional question he may ask. It's actually funny to see. Little does he know that no man will ever turn Aunt Ali's eyes away from Uncle J.

My last two classes were with Legend. She was every bit as genuine as I imagined her to be from the beginning. She was honest, sweet and never had a bad word to say about anyone. The girls didn't seem to like her much, but she didn't care. She was smart, very beautiful, and had a small, petite frame, but her body was sculpted, perfect. I imagine either the girls are jealous or just jealous. Yep, jealous has to be the reason. Legend's attitude couldn't be the problem.

On our way to our last class, we met up with Brody. He smiled at us both when he approached us, then walked with us to our last class. Savanna passed us right outside the class. I swear, if she had knives in her eyes, she cut me a hundred times. I looked at Brody, then Legend. "Dammit Brody, look at the way she looked at me. I really don't want any problems. You promised me that you'd fix that. We all can be friends." Savanna must have heard me and turned around, approaching the three of us.

"Miss Cullen, is it?"

"Yes." I furrowed my brow.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that Brody is mine. Regardless to what he tells you or what he promises you, he will always come back to me. And, no. I don't want to be your friend. You have already caused enough problems between us to welcome you openly in my life. So why don't you go back and crawl back under the rock you came from." She threw her hair over her shoulder, turned and walked off.

My blood was boiling. I imagined myself yanking every inch of hair straight out of her head. I began breathing hard, and my fists were clinched. Legend looked over to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. Immediately, I felt relaxed. I almost couldn't remember why I was so mad to begin with. I know better than to let these humans get to me like that. _ I have to maintain control. It's not personal. It's not personal._

I looked back to Brody who was already pleading with me with his eyes. "Brody, please. Don't walk me to any more classes that we don't have together. I just want peace. This is my first day, and already I have people hating me." He looked so sad, but what else could I do. "Plus, Brody, I don't want all of this extra attention on me. I don't like it."

He put his head down. "Alright, Nessie. I'll see you later." He walked off with his head down.

Legend grabbed my hand and quickly led me into the classroom. It was good she did because as soon as we entered the classroom, the bell rang. Our teacher wasn't in the room yet, so everyone chatted until she arrived.

"Nessie, can I tell you something without you getting mad at me?"

"Yes, Legend, anything."

"Well...um..."

"Go ahead, I won't get mad."

"Well...as you already know, Brody is my brother. I love him dearly, and would do anything for him, but..." She looked down at her hands. "But, he is no good for you. You seem to be a nice girl, and I want you to stay that way. My brother and his friends are jerks to women, and I don't want you to get hurt. Especially if it means that you and I won't be friends. So, please, keep your distance from him, and look past the shy sweetness that he shows you. That is not him. He wants something from you. I just don't know what it is yet."

My mouth fell open. I was shocked at her words about her brother. My impression was totally different from her assessment of him, but I trust her opinion. After all, she lives with him...I think.

"Alright, I'll watch out for him. I already got that exact impression of his friends, but not him. That's surprising."

"Nessie. He's worse than the rest. He's their 'leader', if you would call him that. Trust me. Keep all of them at arms length."

After that, our teacher came in and began class. We never spoke again that period.

When class was over, Aunt Ali met me to go to the truck. What we saw as we approached it sent cold ice through my veins. I heard laughter from a distance and looked up. It was Savanna and her followers. I stopped in my tracks. Aunt Ali must have seen what I planned to do to Savanna. She grabbed my wrists into a vice grip. "Renesmee Cullen, you know better. You can not put your hands on that human. You would kill her. Is that what you want?"

"Yes. Yes, I definitely do. Let me go Aunt Ali!"

"Nessie, please. Let's just go home. Please."

When I looked again into the distance, I saw Legend running toward me. "Nessie! Don't!" She closed the distance between us and placed her hand on my shoulder. Wow! Again, my anger dissipated so quickly that I almost forgot exactly why I was so mad in the beginning. I looked at Legend, questioning how she did that to me.

Before I could say anything, Aunt Ali pulled me by the wrist toward the car. The closer we got, the more I realized how much my daddy would be angry at his car looking like that. They toilet papered the whole car, and wrote: "You're not welcome here!" on every window.

"Aunt Ali, can this be cleaned before daddy sees what they did?"

"We're already on it, Nessie. First stop, car wash. Nessie, are you alright? You almost lost it back there."

"Yes, I'm fine. That was the second time she disrespected me in an hour, so I was very angry. I didn't really want to kill her. I'm sorry for saying that to you."

"Nessie, that's not OK! What if I wasn't around? What if someone does that again to you, or worse. How will you handle it? Your decision to react could destroy our family, plus lead to the Vultori showing up. That would mean a really ugly fight, Nessie, with lives lost."

"I understand Aunt Ali. I promise, it won't happen again. You have my word."

"Alright, Nessie, but remember that your decisions don't only effect you. They effect all of us."

The ride home was quiet. I felt so bad for my outburst. I can't help but think about what would have happened if Aunt Ali hadn't stopped me. That was so stupid. Daddy could buy this truck a hundred times over. It's just a truck. I won't allow her to see me sweat anymore. I gave her exactly what she wanted.

When we got home, my mind went to Jacob. Somehow, all day, I was so distracted that my mind couldn't rest on him. The empty feeling in my chest returned, and I missed him so much. I turned my head toward the window while silent tears returned.

I thought about how right now, I would be talking to Jacob about today, and probably be laughing at the strange boys. I'm sure he would be mad about my reaction to Savanna, but I'm also sure that he would quickly forgive me.

It feels strange returning home without him there. The loss I feel is almost like he's died. Never returning to me again.

Aunt Ali pulled up to the main house. When everyone heard us approaching, they came out to welcome us, and to hear about our first day. I really didn't have anything to say. I was embarrassed about how close I came to hurting that human. Aunt Ali had promised she wouldn't tell if I made a better effort to control myself. But we both knew that with just one slip up in our thoughts, we would be outed. Dad would immediately catch it, and I would be back home from school until I get older. Even though I didn't want to go this morning, I actually enjoyed it, and want to continue going.

Mom came out and lifted me into a huge hug. "Renesmee! Did you love it? Did you meet some new friends?" She lowered me down, kissing my forehead.

I smiled. "Mom, I loved it. The people were very nice, and I met a guy and a girl that are siblings that took me and Aunt Ali in their group of friends. They were really nice to us. Well, actually, I had already met them a couple of weeks ago, when..." I sighed.

"Well, when what?"

"When Jake and I went to the boardwalk. They introduced themselves then. They remembered me." I said, not returning to the spunky tone I had before I thought about Jake.

Everyone went in the house. Alice went straight to Jasper. Her mood was still a little sour. He looked at her, questioning, but she just shook her head, and gave him a hug and kiss, pulling him upstairs.

Uncle Emmit looked over to me. "So, Nessie...How many boys tried to hit on you? Do I need to go up there and put them in their places?" He looked over, smiling at me.

"What makes you think anyone would be interested?" I smiled at him, going over to sit by him. Aunt Rosie came over and stood over him, waiting on him to say something inappropriate.

"Well, little niece, you are a beautiful girl, and you are part vampire, which makes you extra beautiful. I know they couldn't resist." He looked up at Aunt Rosie, making sure he said the right thing, obviously not wanting to get popped in the head.

"Yes, there is one boy. It's the one that we met on the boardwalk. He's nice, but he's kind of weird."

"Weird how?" Daddy asked, looking in my memories of him.

"Well, he just met me that one time weeks ago, then again today. But, he acts like he is attached to me at the hip. He even broke up with his girlfriend the same day he met me weeks ago, all because he wanted a chance to be with me. He even told her that. So, all day, he followed me around. When anyone else tried to speak to him, it was like he was in another world. He only saw me. Only heard me. I told him to stop that. He was only gonna make my life harder at school. Everyone would hate me. He kept promising to work on it, but I just don't know."

"It sounds like he imprinted on you." Uncle Emmit said, then burst out laughing. Now, that got him a pop in the head from Aunt Rosie.

"Stop saying stupid stuff that you know will only hurt her. Dammit, Emmit!"

"Sorry, Nessie, Rose." He put his head down.

"It's alright. It really did seem like that though." I said.

"Did he seem to be an immortal?" Dad asked.

"Well, no...not him." I stated.

Dad stood up. "What do you mean not him? Renesmee, tell me everything. Right now."

"Well, Dad, there's nothing to tell, really. When we got to school, Brody, that's the boy's name, introduced me to three of his friends and his sister. All three boys totally creeped me and Aunt Ali out. Even when they touched me, it made me want to go take two baths. I thought it was just me, but Aunt Ali later mentioned it to me. She had the same feeling."

"And...what about his sister?"

"Well, it's hard to explain. Let's see. Ah, man, Daddy, I have something to tell you. Don't be mad, please."

Daddy walked closer and sat next to me. "Renesmee, stop blocking your thoughts. You know I'll pry until I find out, anyway. Plus, I promise. I'll keep an open mind." Mom came over and laid her hand on his shoulder, willing him to stay calm. "Renesmee?"

"Well, Daddy, remember I told you about Brody telling his girlfriend about me, and breaking up with her...well...she was very angry with me today. Very angry. At first, I didn't know why. She didn't even know me to be treating me like that, so it confused me. I was asking Brody what her problem was, and he came clean with me after I told him I was in a relationship with Jake." I sighed. "Anyway, the rest of the day, she made it her mission to give me mean eyes. After one of my classes, I confronted Brody and told him to stop ignoring her. To try to work it out with her. She heard me, came back, and said some really ugly, disrespectful things to m e in front of everyone. Brody's sister touched me on the shoulder when she noticed how angry I was getting, and not only did all of my anger leave me, but I couldn't really remember why I was originally mad. I mean, I knew why, but the feelings attached to the anger were gone." Daddy gasped. "Well, at the end of the day, Aunt Ali and I were going to the car, and Savanna, his old girlfriend, toilet papered the Mercedes, and wrote some ugly messages on the windows. When I heard them laughing in the distance, I got really angry. I wanted to go over there and have it out with her. Aunt Ali stopped me, but my mind was so jumbled up with anger that I wasn't listening. That's when Legend ran over to where we were and put her hand on my shoulder again. Same thing happened. Before I could question how she did that, Aunt Ali pulled me into the car."

"Renesmee Cullen. Didn't we talk about this? Didn't we warn you that humans can be mean, but we can't let ourselves react to them?" Daddy said, clearly upset, standing up next to Mom. I looked up at him, clearly remorseful about my actions.

"But, Daddy, I didn't want to fight her, I just wanted to say ugly things to her like she had to me."

"We understand that, honey." Mom said. "But, you never know where your words will take you. You are part human, so your emotions are not as poised and controlled like ours. You have to remember that the safety of our family lies in your hands right now. You can't make those kinds of mistakes. Ever." Mom looked at Daddy. She clearly had removed her shield, and was talking to him. He looked over at her and walked out the house. I knew he was really mad at me, and hoped Mom could calm him down before he insists on taking me out of school.

I looked over at Aunt Rosie and Grandma. "Was I wrong for telling him? I really don't want to stay home. I want to go to school." Tears began flowing from my eyes. Uncle Emmit got up and they both sat next to me. Aunt Rosie putting her arms around me, and Grandma putting her hands in my hands.

"Sweetheart, you should always be honest with your parents, even when it's not in your own personal best interest. They only want to protect you. Plus, what you just told you father needs to be looked into. We are not the only type of immortals out there. We run into them from time to time. It's been a long time, but they are out there."

"Am I in danger?"

"Probably not, but I wonder if they know what you are?"

I gasped. "Oh, my god. Grandma, I'm so sorry. I never..."

"Shhhh...it's not your fault. Your did nothing wrong. I was just wondering."

"Nessie, did they have a heartbeat?" Aunt Rosie asked.

"Um, um, yes, I think."

"What about their smell?"

"Now, something was different about it. They all had interesting smells. The three boys smelled like the outside and grass. Brody smelled like that too, but also some kind of sweet flower. Legend smelled the best. While she had the outside, grass smell, she had a honey and orangey smell added."

"Alice! Alice! Come down here!" Aunt Rosie called. Aunt Ali was down in an instant. She smiled at me.

"You told them. I knew you would do the right thing."

"Alice, we need to know everything about those boys today." Aunt Rosie stated.

"What boys?"

"Brody and his friends." I told her about my impression and what happened with Legend. It surprised her, but she admitted that something was very familiar about not them, but their scents. She said it brought her back to many years before, when they lived in the south, but she dismissed it, knowing they had a heartbeat, and couldn't be immortal.

During this time, Mom and Daddy walked back in, listening to Aunt Ali's version of the story.

"Do you think we need to enroll, too, in order to find out what they are?" Mom asked Daddy.

"I don't know. We have no reason the believe they are dangerous. I just don't know."

That night, I went hunting with Mom. I hadn't been for weeks, preparing with Jake on how to survive as a human. After all the tension in the house from earlier, I jumped at the chance to leave the chaos. It's been two hours since I got home, and they are still talking about what happened. I felt like just screaming "shut up already!" but I knew better. When Mom asked me to come with her, I flew out the door.

"Mom, I messed up bad today, didn't I?"

"Well, it definitely could have been really bad, but no harm was done. Renesmee, you must never forget who you are. You are not like them, and you must remember that in all situations."

"I will Mom. Thanks for being so understanding. Mom..."

"Yes..."

"Can I call Jake? Maybe he'll talk to me since he's had some time to cool off. Would Dad allow that?"

"I don't see why not. Wanna do it now?"

I squeaked "Yes!"

Mom handed me her phone. "I'll be a ways up. I smell a deer. Call my name when you're finish. I'll give you some privacy." Mom ran off. I opened the phone and dialed Billy's number. Billy answered.

"Hi, Billy, it's Nessie. Is Jake around?" Billy paused for a long while. At first I thought he had hung up, but he spoke.

"Oh...um...hi Nessie. Jake's here, but he doesn't want to talk. He just asked me to tell you that he still needs some time."

"Time? Time for what? I just want to talk to him. I'm not asking him to come back. Please, Billy."

"Um, hold on..." My heart began to beat quickly. I heard them murmuring in the background. He must have had his hand on the phone.

"Um, Nessie, he won't. He says he just doesn't know if he can be just friends with you. He's very hurt, and needs you to not call again."

"But..."

"Nessie, please. You made your choice. He accepted it, now accept his." 

"But Billy, I was wrong. That's what I want..." The phone went dead. My heart dropped. I just stood there, looking at the phone, trying to understand why he won't be friends anymore, at least. I know I hurt him by pushing him away, but he promised. Tears began welling up in my eyes. I called again. Jacob answered.

"What Renesmee!"

"Jake...I...I'm sorry..." I began weeping in the phone. "Jake, please, don't do this. I need..."

"Renesmee, listen..." His voice softened. "I'm sorry too. I expected something of you that you were unwilling and unable to give to me. For that, I am...I was wrong. I only wanted you to be happy. I still do. So, that's why I'm asking you to never call here again. It hurts me too much to hear your voice. Maybe in time we can begin talking again, but now..."

"Jake, wait...hear me out, please. I was wrong. I love you. I know that now." My voice breaking up after each phrase.

"Renesmee..."

"Jake, please stop calling me that..."

"Nessie, you've always loved me. I knew that. It just hurt me when you refused to talk to me about the imprint, even after you knew. I love you, but I really need some time to get past this all, and I don't know how long it'll take. I need you to respect what I'm asking. I need my space from you and your family. I have given everything I had of myself to you. Now, I need to take care of myself."

"Jake, no. Please, you're not understanding me...I.." He hung up, again.

I my body went numb all over. My heart was beating way too fast, and I felt sick to my stomach. I fell to the ground and curled myself up near a tree. "What am I going to do? I love him so much. I need him in my life." A feeling of complete loss come over me. My body trembled in sadness. My whole world seemed to not matter anymore. I grabbed the phone again, tempted to call him again. How could he be like this with me? Could he really hate me? Will I really be alone forever? I began sobbing into the phone, unable to hit talk.

Out of no where, someone picked me up. I really couldn't see them. The only thing that was clear was my tears, and the fog that they created. I just rested my head on them, holding the phone close. Soon after, I was put down. My eyes were wiped clean, and I looked up. It was Mom. We were in Jake's cottage. "Mom, he hates me. He told me to not call him anymore. He says I hurt him too much. He hasn't forgiven me. Oh, Mom, what am I going to do." She pulled me close to her, never saying a word. "Mom, it hurts too bad. I feel like someone has stabbed me in the heart, over and over. Mom, I want him back."

She never said a word. She picked me up again, got one of Jake's t-shirts, and placed me in his bed, pulling the covers over me, fully dressed. She knew. The pain was tangent. Touch me anywhere, it reminded me of the hurt I felt in my heart. She walked out, silently closing the door behind her.

Before I went to bed, I wrote this to Jake:

_Jake,_

_I travel to find your joy._

_You say that my life is not like yours, _

_and I understand you my love._

_You claim that you can feel my pain, _

_and I understand you,_

_but I have never said to you how I feel without you._

_Without you, my love, without you my precious friend, _

_without you I will cry_

_forever..._

_Renesmee_

**Well, it's review time. **

**Reviewing is better than kicking Savanna's butt after she disrespected you.**

**Review, review, review.**


	7. Missing Jake

**Chapter 7: Missing Jake**

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. Neither do I own the poetry written in this chapter. The authors are listed as unknown. I also don't own any song or lyrics that are sung or played in this chapter.**

A/N: Chapter 4 has been changed to show that the tracker is Jasper's friend.

The next morning went the same as the previous. Only, they didn't have to trick me with the time. I wanted to go. I needed a change from what I was constantly feeling inside.

When we arrived at school, a boy was handing out fliers to a dirt bike competition this weekend. When I read it, I felt my heart begin to race. Aunt Ali looked over at me. I knew immediately by the way that she looked at me that she heard it, and she wasn't having it.

"Nessie, I'm not playing. I will tell your father. I promise I will," she threatened.

"No problem. I'll just get him to let me go, and at least observe. There's no danger in that. Is there?"

She looked over at me. "Renesmee Cullen...I'm not crazy. Neither is your father. Please don't do anything reckless. Please."

I just smiled and walked with her to our first class.

Brody was the first person I saw when we walked into school. He wore the cutest, form fitting Ed Hardy t-shirt and a perfectly fitted dark pair of jeans with black laced up timberlands. Yesterday, he was dressed neatly, but he had no particular style like he did today...not saying that a tight white with low ride jeans and a scarf wasn't sexy as hell on him.

When we approached him, he smiled widely. He obviously noticed me checking him out, and I could tell by the smirk on his face that he liked it.

_Man, I sure hope that today won't be a repeat of yesterday._

As he approached us, Aunt Ali put her arm around my shoulder. She whispered into my ear, "Nessie, remember what we talked about yesterday. You have to keep your distance from him until we figure out what's going on with them."

"Hello, ladies, how was your evening?" Brody asked.

"Fine," I responded coldly, hoping he'd get the point, and just go away already.

"Alice, do you remember where your class is?" Brody asked, ignoring my uninterested tone.

She nodded and pointed.

Brody eyed at me suspiciously for a moment, cleared his expression, then smiled.

"Good, let's go, Nessie, the bell's about to ring. See you next class, Alice." He grabbed my hand and led me to class. "Nessie, are you going to watch the tournament this weekend?"

"I don't know. It depends on what my dad says...but I want to."

"Well, if you do, I'm bringing an extra bike in case mine crashes, so if you want to ride, not race, you can use my extra bike."

"Thank you, but I prefer mine. Plus, if you can race, I'm sure I can too. Just don't be mad when I beat you." I smiled at him. When I looked into his eyes, there was a glimmer that wasn't there yesterday. It was the same look that my mom and dad give each other, lovingly. "Ew, why are you looking at me like that?"

He smiled. "Like what?"

"Like all goo goo eyed. Brody, what's going on with you?"

"Nessie, I thought about what you said yesterday, but I just can't do it. There is something about you that draws me to you. I'm sorry. I've never felt like this before about anyone."

"Brody, remember, I am committed. I love Jake. I'll never leave him for you. You need to come to terms with that very quickly, before you destroy our friendship."

He laughed. "But, Nessie, it's not like that. I wouldn't say I'm in love with you. I just can't explain it. I just want you to be happy. I want to make you laugh – see you smile. I want to be your closest friend. I have no problems with Jacob, neither do I plan on it."

"But Brody. That doesn't make any sense. Plus, how will you date other girls if you always spend your free time with me?"

"I don't know. I talked to Savanna last night. We went to the park down the street. I pushed her on the swings and even made out in the backseat. Nessie, I felt nothing for her. I felt bad for even kissing her like that. I kept thinking about you. For some reason, I felt like you were sad. I wanted to call you, but I knew that you would get really mad with me, so I didn't."

_That in the world is up with this dude? He can't be as genuine as he seems to be. Something's up, and frankly, he's pissing me off. Who acts like this?_

Before I could think of another reason as to what his agenda really was, I decided to just ask a little about him.

"Brody, where are you from?" I blurted out.

"Why, Nessie?"

_Yep, something to hide. _I raised my eyebrow suspiciously at him.

"Just curious. You and your sister don't talk and dress like most of the kids here.

"What do you mean?" Brody asked, seeming hesitant to freely give this information out.

"Well, for one, you have a heavy accent. It sounds like you're from the south somewhere. So, are you spilling or not?"

"We're from New Orleans. What about you?"

"Hey, I'm asking the questions."I smiled flirtatiously, flipping my hair. "Have you been here long?"

He smiled widely, then leaned in close to me.

_Shit! I hope he's not thinking I'm trying to get to know him or something stupid like that. I just need this information for my family. Shit! Did I just flip my stupid hair and flirt with him?_

"No..." He began tracing patterns on the top of my hand. "We've been here maybe five years. We've lived all over. My parents love the outdoors. Once my parents have gotten enough of the scenery, where ever we are, they find somewhere else just as fantastic. We've moved three or four times that I can remember."

While he was speaking, my eyes remained on his fingers tracing patterns on my hand. Twice, I imagined myself snapping his damn finger off.

_Calm down Renesmee. You need this information. Calm down. Maybe you can snap that bony little finger later by accident. Little shit._

"Wow! It's very expensive to move that often. You must be rich. What does your parents do?"

"They were fortune tellers and witches." He smiled widely at me. I couldn't tell if he was serious or joking. "Are you afraid?"

"No, not at all." I stared firmly.

He chuckled.

"So, are you one of them too?"

"Well, I know all about the customs, but I don't actively practice. So, no."

Our conversation was cut off when the bell rang for class to start. I noticed that Savanna wasn't in class today. In a way, I was glad. Having to deal with her, while still being slightly annoyed with Brody may have been a bit too much for me right now.

In Biology, Alice took her place next to me, instead of by Legend. "Aunt Ali, guess what...He's from New Orleans. His family practices Wicca. They're fortune tellers and witches. Do you think he was pulling my leg? Just to see how I'd respond?"

Her mouth fell open. "Who's his mother?"

I shrugged. "How would I know?"

"Nessie, I knew a couple many years ago that got married, but had no children after many years of trying. They were a very strange couple, but because of their love, they stuck together. They left New Orleans in search for a new beginning. But that was about thirty or forty years ago. We met up with them again years later in Tennessee. She was still trying to have children, and Jasper brought them to Carlisle for help. I wonder if these are their children."

Well, needless to say, Aunt Ali was bubbly for the rest of the day. She wanted to try to verify what she was thinking before she confronted Brody, so she waited until we got home to talk to Daddy.

In Biology, Brody was extremely annoyed with Alice for taking his seat. He clearly was pouting, looking back at me every opportunity he got. He is such a beautiful boy. He could have any girl in the school, and it just has to be me, the last one he needs to be trying to like.

After class, we went to French. Our first test would be on Friday, and I was already ready. I knew that this class would not hold my attention at all. Brody asked if we could study together. He says he hates learning new languages, and needs help. I agreed, but I had no idea where we would study. It definitely wouldn't be at my house.

Our teacher made us read a conversation with a partner in French. It was an introduction to someone that you just met. I spoke in my fluent tongue to Brody, and he demolished everything he read. I could tell by the look in his eyes, that he was enjoying listening to me speak to him like that, so I decided to distract him.

"Brody..." I whispered. "If you're from Louisiana, why don't you know French?"

"Because...the language that they speak in Louisiana is nothing like the actual 'French' language. It's a broken language. Put together by the people there. It's very similar, but the accent, and a lot of the dialect is different. Plus, we were still really young when we left. My dad speaks it fluently though, but I have to admit that he sounds nothing like you." He chuckled.

We had just began reading our script again when our teacher heard my accent in the language, and came over.

"Miss Cullen, you speak fluent French?"

"Yes, ma'am. My father lived there for many years. He taught me when I was very young. Sometimes we only speak that language at home. It's easy to learn when you hear it everyday." I lied; she didn't need to know that my dad taught me that when I was three.

"Well...that's wonderful. Miss Cullen, you may need to help me with some of your classmates sometimes." She walked off, listening to everyone else demolish everything they read.

At lunch, Brody asked Aunt Ali and me when our birthdays were. When he realized that mine was coming up within a month, he offered to throw me a party, anywhere I wanted one. I looked over at Aunt Ali. Her face saddened into almost a pout. I knew it would hurt her feelings to let someone else plan my party. "No, Brody, Alice will plan it for me. She loves doing that kind of stuff. Is that alright Alice?"

Her smile instantly perked up. "Yes, yes! I would love to!" She squeaked. She was practically bouncing in the lunch chairs with excitement. Everyone sitting with us looked over at her and giggled.

"Alice, are you that good? Can we come?" Brittan looked over at her, smiling wide at her.

_I think somebody has a crush on Alice._ I sang in my head then giggled.

"Sure, I'll have the invitations ready by the end of the week. Where do you want to have it, Nessie?"

"Where ever. I'm sure you'll think of something."

"What about at the house? We'll have to ask Mom, but it should be alright."

"Alice, whatever. I don't care." Everyone was getting a kick out of her new found excitement. Up until now, she's been very quiet and reserved. They haven't seen the best of Aunt Ali, yet. Wait until they see her parties. I smiled to myself thinking about what their reaction will be when they see the house and the land.

The rest of the day went by fast. All I heard about was my party that wasn't even planned yet, and everyone asking if they were invited. It kind of annoyed me. _Most of these kids never spoke to me before now. Now, all of a sudden, they think they're my best friends. Humans._

**((((( Alice's POV)))))**

"Edward, come to the main house. We need to talk." I closed my phone, anxious to speak to him about Brody and his family. A few minutes later, Edward and Bella arrived, looking very worried. "Ah, straighten your faces out. Nothing is wrong. I just need to talk to Edward about Brody and his family."

"His family?" Carlisle asked. "What about them? Have you found out anything else?"

"Well, yes. Today, Nessie asked Brody about him and his family in one of their classes together. He told her that he was from New Orleans. His family are fortune tellers and Witches."

"Inya? As in, Inya and Phadrus?" Edward interrupted.

"What? Who's that?" Bella asked.

"Inya is a Nymph, and Phadrus is a warlock," Edward explained.

"What the Hell does that mean?" She asked.

"Jasper, do you remember when me met them in New Orleans? They had very little time to spend together because of her job, tending to nature, and not being able to outwardly be together.. They met under the strangest of circumstances, but they loved each other greatly. Phadrus married Inya in the early nineteen seventies. They were both still very young. They had to hide their union because of the obvious backgrounds of their nature. Neither of their families would allow the union, ever. So, they ran off together after about five years of having to sneak around to be together. Remember, they wanted children, but were never able to have them?" Alice asked.

"Yes, I remember." Jasper added. "That's how they met Carlisle. They were running from their troubles when we met up with 'em in Tennessee."

"I remember how happy they were to be able to speak freely about who and what they were, without feeling self conscious about their pasts or their nature. Carlisle worked with them for months, using fertility drugs, but it seemed like nothing was working, so she left. After we helped Phadrus find her, we lost contact with the both of them."

"Yes, I remember how genuine, and in love they were with each other. Back then, it thoroughly angered me to see people that much in love, but I never forgot how wonderfully he treated her. Alice, would you picture those two children for me?" Edward asked.

I thought about Brody and Legend, allowing him a detailed view, while trying myself to find some type of resemblance. Edward took a while, not sure if it were possible. "Alice, maybe we should just ask," he stated, matter-of-factly.

"I thought about that, but then we would have to reveal ourselves to children that may not know anything about the supernatural. Maybe they'll come for the party. I included a note that said that chaperons were needed."

"Alright, now...back to the original subject. Are these people dangerous, and what is a Nymph and a warlock?" Bella asked.

"Well...let's see how to explain. Um..." I began.

"Alice, let me start," Carlisle began. "Nymphs are generally regarded as divine spirits. They roam the earth as a human, but they are considered to be very beautiful, and highly regarded by most immortals. Their spirits are pure, and they love everything and everyone that's created by nature. They love to dance and sing, and it's hard to be around them without loving them. With the same respect, it's hard for them to be around you without attaching themselves to you, loving you like no other. But it's a pure love, never erotic or sexual. Usually, they dwell in the mountains and groves, by springs and rivers, where trees are plentiful, and nature is the most beautiful. Inya ended up in New Orleans because she wanted to make a difference to humans and nature. She lived there for maybe fifty years before we met. She was working to plant new trees, creating new flowers, helping people recycle, and tending to the many dying forms of vegetation that had once lived fruitfully in that area, until refineries were built, and began killing everything Mother Nature created for survival and beauty.

"Before she met Phadrus, she had never been in love, in fact she didn't really know what it meant. She knew that she already loved everyone, and saw no need in restricting that to one person. The day she met Phadrus, her whole life changed.

"Phadrus is the exact opposite of Inya. He practiced black magic, and the occult. I suppose Wicca is the vogue term that describes most witchcraft today, but most Witches and Warlocks come from a line of pagan beliefs derived from druidism and ancient magic. Wicca focuses on deriving power from nature and in that sense Nymphs might be closer to what people talk about as Wicca, while Phadrus and his coven come from a line of ancient practitioners who can take power from not only nature, but other beings, whether they are mortal or immortal. Some of them are very devious, conniving, and have no respect for human ideals, morals or religious preferences. They are the worst kind of enemy. They are masters at mixing potions for just about any reason. Love, hate, death, trickery, you name it."

Carlisle paused, seeming to go deep into thought, so I finished, "That's right. When Phadrus and Inya met, he was meeting with a tourist in New Orleans who wanted to pay him to perform some kind of spell. He met the tourist in the park after they couldn't find his business. Inya was out that day, tending to the many trees and flowers, singing and dancing around. She pretty much went unnoticed most of the time. After all, she was in New Orleans. The home of strange and weird. The tourist noticed her erratic, happy behavior. She thought Inya looked ridiculous dancing around, touching trees, and talking to plants. When Phadrus looked over at her, he knew immediately that he had never seen another creature as beautiful as her, and loved her immediately with all of his heart. He finished up with the tourist, but when he turned to look for her, Inya was gone. He went back to that park everyday for weeks, hoping to catch a glimpse of her again. She never showed back up. Unfortunately, by him sitting idle for so long, his business was failing, so he had to go back to his norm, only hoping that one day he'd see her again.

"Months later, a spell that he cast was on a business owner of a Botanical Garden. It had been cast for some time now, but the business seemed to still be flourishing. He decided to redo the spell, but that time, he went to the business itself. When he walked in, the first thing he saw was Inya. Perfectly the same as she had been months ago. She was so beautiful, and so happy, he actually forgot why he was there. As he was approaching her, she looked up at him, and the same love that he felt for her, she immediately felt for him. Of course, they revealed to each other who and what they were, and they both knew that they could never have an open relationship. Neither of their families would accept the other. He married her almost immediately, but they never lived together, nor did they reveal that they even knew each other.

"As the years passed, they decided that they wanted children. They loved each other too much to not create a child out of their love. Unfortunately, she was never able to conceive, and her heartbreak because of it, almost drove them apart. That's when we met them.

"We were out hunting one evening when we met up with Inya. We recognized each other immediately for what we were, and our friendship grew from there. Phadrus wasn't as forthcoming, but who can resist me, right?" I smiled.

Carlisle began again, "After meeting them some years later, I tried to help her conceive, but the medicine that I tried on her never seemed to effect her one way or the other. Her body was created to be perfect, and when it was ready to conceive, it would, I told her. She soon left, leaving him behind. She was ashamed that she was unable to give him the one thing he wanted so desperately from her. He didn't care about that. He just wanted her. He loved her dearly.

"The only thing I ever heard from them again was when he called, thanking us for helping him find her again. A'Layna, Jasper's old friend, came through for us back then too. Her tracking abilities are nothing short of the best. She can find anything or anyone, with precision and she is able to avoid detection by the Volturi by avoiding all of them. They would prefer her to Demitri, but they've never managed to get close to her. Which is why she couldn't help when we gathered witnesses after Renesmee's birth she could sense that they would get too close to her if she came.

"It's more than possible that after all these years, they were finally able to conceive. I would love to meet those children. The combination of an immortal and a mortal would make an interesting mixture of children. Especially since Inya lives in the light, and Phadrus lives in the dark. Plus, by nature, Inya would never get old, nor could she get sick, but Phadrus is a mortal. He will eventually live his life out and die. The fate of their children would definitely be interesting. Quite like you and Bella, Edward."

"Wow, I never knew that there were other types of immortals," Bella added.

"Oh, yes, there are. We run into them from time to time," Carlisle added.

"So, Carlisle, have you kept contact information on them?" Edward asked. "I would love to see them again."

"Edward, it's been maybe thirty years since I heard from him. I doubt the numbers are still the same," Carlisle said.

"Well, maybe A'Layna could find them for us," I suggested.

"But Alice, that would be wasteful. Especially since we can just find out who the parents of those children are," Carlisle replied.

"Well, we'll work on it. Oh, I so hope to see her again. We were really good friends."

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

As the week passed, I grew restless. I knew I still had to approach Daddy about going to the races, and I knew it wouldn't be easy.

My nights were still for Jake. I called him every night. He's never answered the phone since that one day. Sometimes I just let it ring until the phone company cut the call. I know he sees my persistence. Maybe he's found someone, and really needs his space. I really don't care, though. I just need to hear his voice. To know that he's alright. I still cry myself to sleep at night. My heart was feeling extra pained tonight, so I wrote:

_Jake..._

_Empty thoughts just like the words I am writing._

_I know that my angel will come back to me._

_Until then, I will slowly die,_

_because I can not touch your soul._

_...but it is my soul that I can not heal._

_I think I have to move on,_

_but I can not, I am desperate._

_I still think of you my love._

_Come back to me before I die within._

_Come and say the words I need to hear._

_You are my treasure._

_You are my reflection._

_Nessie_

For the past couple of nights, I've had vivid nightmares where Brody and Jake are fighting. But, Brody is not himself. He's a large animal, fighting Jacob the wolf. In my dream, they don't listen to me, and they both want each other dead. I wake up from the nightmares screaming at the top of my lungs, screaming out Jake's name. Sometimes, it replays in the same night. The only difference is sometimes Jake is able to change from the wolf to another animal, but it's unsteady. He just keeps changing, unable to hold a shape, getting hurt in the process.

Friday morning, before school, I woke up early. I had an idea. I decided to write him a letter. Maybe my written words would reach him where my voice couldn't.

_Jake,_

_I am so sorry for being so stupid. My actions with you were inexcusable, and hurtful to you. I never meant any harm. I just wanted you to be happy. To find your imprint._

_Jake, when you left, my whole world came crashing down around me. Your presence in my life, no longer a constant, has drawn a pain from me that only equals to ripping an arm or leg off. Fortunately, I welcome the pain. It reminds me that you were real, and that the love that I hold for you is real._

_Jake, the last couple of weeks that we were together were the hardest for me in all my years. I know that you're my best friend and all, and look at me like a little sister, but Jake, I fell in love with you._

_I was afraid to tell you or show you, knowing you would reject me. Maybe not now, but when your imprint was found. The pain was much too hard to bear, even within. So, I decided to separate from you. I thought that sacrificing my love for you would eventually allow you to be happy._

_I had already stolen so many years from you, and you deserved every amount of happiness that life has to give you._

_I know too, that I was wrong for not wanting to talk to you about your imprint. When Daddy encouraged me to hear you out, he said that it would make everything better, I knew deep within that you probably had known about her for some time now, and wanted to come clean with me. That's why I didn't want to talk. I hate myself for not being the friend to you that you have been to me all these years._

_It was the selfish old Renesmee coming out to haunt me. One minute, I wanted you to be happy and to find her. The next minute, the thought of actually hearing about her made me ill. I know...I'm all messed up._

_But Jake, I don't care anymore. I want to hear about her. I want to hear about your happiness, your future. I need you and your smile in my life. Any way you want to give it to me._

_So, Jake, please, stop ignoring me. I__ know __you still love me. Please forgive me for being so selfish. I know I have a long way to go, but you know me. I mean what I say, sincerely. _

_Please call me. I love you._

_Nessie_

_P.S. I have been living in your cottage. Your lingering smell has kept me feeling safe all this time. It is my only solace without you here. Please, Jake I miss you._

As I wrote, tears fell all over the note, slightly smudging some letters. _Oh, well, he'll understand._ I sealed the note, put it in an envelope, added a stamp, and ran to the street to put it in the mailbox.

It was still early, so instead of going back to Jake's, I went to talk to Daddy. I went to his and Mom's cottage first, hopefully not interrupting anything. I knocked first just in case. Daddy came immediately to the door.

"Renesmee...why did you knock? This is your home, too."

I smiled and looked at him.

"Oh..." He laughed. "Come in silly girl."

"Daddy, I need to talk to you."

He smiled at me.

"You're looking better today."

"Yes, well, I hope I still will after this conversation." I took a deep breath. "Daddy, there is a dirt bike tournament this weekend, and I want to go." I put my hands up to him, asking him to wait before he responded. "Not to race, but to ride the trails with some friends from school. There will be people from everywhere coming for the tournament, and I'd love to see how other people ride. Can I go Daddy, please? I promise I'll do as you ask. I won't race. I promise, Daddy." I smiled at him, stepping closer to him, giving him a tight hug. "Please, Daddy."

He reluctantly hugged me back, then cleared his throat. When I looked up at him, he was looking at Mom. "What do you think about this?" He asked her.

"I don't have anything to do with that. That's between you and her." She walked off, giggling silently. I know I heard her say something that sounded like 'He doesn't have a chance.' But, I'm not really sure.

"Daddy, please." I started kissing him all over his face, hugging him really close. "I'll be your favorite daughter." He began laughing.

"You're my only daughter."

"Well, even better. Please, Daddy."

"Alright, Renesmee. You can go. But, you have to promise me that you will not under any circumstances race that bike."

I started jumping up and down, bubbling over. "I promise. I promise. Thank you, Daddy, thank you," I squeaked. I ran to their room, quickly opening the door. "Mom, Mom, he's letting me go." I was jumping up and down and laughing. I ran over to her and hugged her.

She leaned down, whispering in my ear. "I knew he'd let you. You've always had him wrapped around your little fingers from the day you were born."

"I heard that. That's not fair for you to tell her." We all just laughed. _It's not like I didn't know that already, anyway._

"Renesmee, I heard that, too. You two never play fair."

Soon after, I left to go back to Jacob's cottage. Alice was already there to begin getting me ready. On the way to school, I was really happy. I hadn't rode my bike in weeks, and I missed it. Really, I missed riding with Jake, but for now, just riding would be fine.

When we arrived at school, we parked next to Brody and Legend's car, who were sitting on their cars. "Hi Nessie, Alice...are you able to come this weekend?" Brody asked.

I smiled excitedly. "Yes! My daddy said yes, this morning. The only thing is...I can't race, but I can bring my bike and ride, so that's way cool" Brody smiled.

"Yes, it is, Nessie. I'm glad you'll be there. Is Jacob coming?"

I paused, revealing my sadness with my next statement. "No. He won't be."

Brody looked at me, silently questioning my sudden change in mood. I managed to pull a smile together before Aunt Ali changed the subject, "So, Legend, are you going?"

"No. I don't like hanging out with my brother and his friends. They can be real jerks on bikes."

"Nessie will be the only girl there?"

"No," Brody interjected. "Everyone usually has their girlfriends with them, so she'll have plenty of company."

"Nessie, if you'd like, I can come," Legend added.

"Yes, would you? I don't know anyone else, and Brody will be with his date, so I'll be left to find a friend."

"I won't have a date. Savanna and I have reconciled to be friends. By her own choice. So, it'll be the three of us." He smiled, rubbing my arm. I looked over at Legend. She squeezed her eyes tight at her brother, then at me. I turned my eyes away, noting to ask her about that later.

On the way to class, Savanna came up to the four of us, looking directly at me. I looked at Aunt Ali. "Remember what I said," she whispered.

Savanna stopped directly in front of me, pulling a hard smile up.

"Hello everyone. Renesmee, can I talk to you, alone?"

I looked over at Brody, who smiled at me, then Aunt Ali, who seemed resolved to not be leaving while this conversation went on. I took a few steps forward from the group.

"Renesmee, I'm sorry for the other day. It was mean and heartless, and you didn't deserve that. I know that it was your first day here, and I saw how Brody pursued you, not you him. I also heard how you tried to send him back to me. I'm so sorry. After I thought about it, he's not worth that much effort anyway. He got from me what he wanted, and moved on. Just be careful with him. He was the same way with me. All loving and attached, then after I gave myself to him, he acted like I didn't exist. Again, I'm so sorry. Can I pay to have your truck detailed?"

"No, it's alright. We did it already. And, thanks for coming to talk to me. That's really cool of you. Friends?"

"Yes, friends." She leaned over and hugged me. Our first bell rang right after, so we all separated and ran to class.

In first hour, Brody sat next to me, giving me a weird look. "What?" I asked.

"What did she tell you?"

"Nothing. She just apologized. Why?"

"She's so vindictive, I was just wondering if she tried to turn you against me."

"Nope, it was just about me and her. I think everything will be fine."

At lunch, Aunt Ali began passing out invitations to the party next Friday night. Everyone was so excited about it. They had never been anywhere near our home, so they were excited to see how a regular house could hold almost the whole school. Savanna got one too. She came up to me to ask me if it was alright for her to come, since we had that little disagreement. I assured her that all was forgiven and to move forward.

**You know what time it is...**

**Reviewing is better than knocking Savanna in the mouth for disrespecting you, but definitely not as satisfying...lol...come on...let me have it!**

**Review, review, review!**


	8. Old Family, New Problems

**Chapter 8: Old Family, New Problems**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. Neither do I own the poetry written in this chapter. The authors are listed as unknown. I also don't own any song or lyrics that are sung or played in this chapter. **

**A/N: To my readers...I appreciate any time that you spend reading my drabbles. I know that your time is precious and I don't take it lightly. I hope I can live up to what you expect from fanfiction land. :D**

**To my Beta: Thanks so much for taking out your personal time to make my words not sound like shit. You rock! **

**Readers, if you wanna read a really hot fic, go check out Toe to Toe by efficient vixen. It's soooo hot…**

**Beta Note: Sorry this is so late. I had a baby five weeks ago when I was supposed to beta this for our wonderful author and he had some early challenges, but he's good now. -Efficient Vixen**

**Just a few more chapters and Jake's back and its yummy! This one's very short, but I needed to introduce a new character. Enjoy!**

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

Saturday couldn't come quick enough. What Savanna said to me sat hard on my mind. The Brody that she spoke of sounded very similar to the Brody that I've have grown to love as a friend. But that other Brody...the deceitful, manipulative Brody hadn't shown his face yet. I guess that's what Legend was trying to tell me. It doesn't matter anyway. My heart and my body belong to someone else, so there's no chance that I will ever be giving him either of those, anyway.

Saturday morning came. I woke up early to get prepared for the day. Luckily, Mom took me hunting yesterday evening, so I won't need to bring food. I packed all of my gear, and an extra helmet just in case Legend wanted to ride with me. Daddy put my bike in the truck, and took me to the course.

"Renesmee, remember what you promised me. I'm trusting you to do as you said."

"I remember, Daddy. I promise. Plus, I brought all of my protective gear that you bought for me. And I _will_ wear it. For some reason, I know that you'll be watching me, so I'll be on my best behavior. I love you, Daddy."

He smiled. "I love you too."

When we were almost to the race course, I sent Legend a text, letting her know that I was approaching, and to meet me in the parking lot.

"Nessie! That's a great bike. Wow! It's been modified?"

"Yeah, kind of. Jake is great with bikes." She looked around me, trying to see who was in the truck. "Oh, that's my...brother, Edward. He doesn't ride."

"Can I meet him? He's hot. Oh, wait...does he have a girlfriend?"

I giggled. "Yes, and he's very serious about her."

"Oh, well, can I still meet him?" Legend asked quietly, but excitedly.

Daddy stepped out of the truck, hand extended, smiling. He had already heard the whispered conversation. "Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. And you are?"

"I'm Legend Shay. Nice to meet you."

"Are you from here?" Daddy asked. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to get her to talk, hopefully picturing one or both of her parents.

"No. My parents are originally from New Orleans. My brother and I have grown up all over the country, but we usually just say New Orleans. My dad owns this course."

"Really, is he here today? I've heard a lot about him. I'd love to meet him."

"Yeah, he's right over there. Daddy! Come here." When her father turned around, my father pulled up one of the largest smiles I've ever seen from him. Her father immediately recognized Daddy, coming quickly over to where we stood.

"Ah, Edward Cullen. It's great to see you again. It's been years." His accent was thick. There was no denying he was from the south. He pulled Daddy into a tight embrace. "Wow, Inya'll be pleased to know that ya family in da area, yeah."

"Phadrus, it's really great to see you too. When Renesmee came home, telling us about Legend, and her ability to calm, and where her family was from, Alice hoped it was you and Inya. I'm so glad she was right."

"Wait..." Legend looked at me, then Daddy, then her father. "Are you saying...?"

"Yeah, honey, das _our_ Cullens." Her father quickly stated. Obviously warning her to watch her words.

"Nessie..." She whispered, looking at me.

I smiled at her, hoping she wouldn't be mad at my deception. But she surprised me. She pulled me into a tight hug. "I've heard so much about your family. I knew you were a Cullen, but I never thought you were _those_ Cullens. Your father and grandfather helped save my mom and dad's marriage. This is so cool."

"Where is Inya?" Daddy asked.

"Ah, She's working...somewhere in da the woods. If you'd like, I could call her. She keep a cell phone on her now, just in case I need her."

"No. Don't do that. I remember how important her job is to her. I'll see her later. Carlisle will be so glad to know you're both here."

"Ah, Carlisle. My friend. We'll have to get together soon and Laissez les bon temps roulez. I miss playing chess with you and him. Well, nah, not really you. You cheat."

They both laughed.

"Alright, Daddy, can we go?"

"Yes, honey. I'll see you at what time?"

"Oh, Edward, I'll bring her home, if das alright. I'd love to see da family," he pleaded.

Daddy looked conflicted, but agreed. "Renesmee, keep your phone on. If you need me, call. Love you."

Legend and I left, walking both of our bikes to the trail. Brody saw us approaching, and ran over to help me with my bike. "I got it." I told him.

"Alright. Are you ready to ride? The trail's not for the faint at heart. Do ya think you can hang with us?"

Legend looked at me, smiling widely. "Nessie, should we tell him?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Brody, brace yourself. I just met Nessie's father," she squeaked.

"Legend, please. So..."

"So...come to find out, he and dad know each other from New Orleans."

"What? How's that possible. They haven't been there in almost thirty years," he said rolling his eyes.

"Well, remember the family that Dad told us about that got him and Mom back together?"

"Yes..." The look on Brody's face was priceless. "And..."

"The Cullens are them! Nessie is Carlisle's granddaughter!" Legend squeaked.

"You're shitting me. Their kind can't have children."

"Oh, yes they can, and they did. Nessie?"

"She's telling the truth. When my dad and your dad saw each other, they were like two children at the playground." I half smiled, waiting for his response.

"Damn, Nessie...wow...I don't know what to say."

"Why don't you say...let's ride."

"Alright, but Nessie, I've heard all of the stories about how your family led my parents back together, and how Carlisle tried to help Mom conceive. Your family is really cool. We owe them our lives, literally." He walked over to me, pulling me tightly in his embrace. "Wow," he whispered.

The trail was everything everyone said it was. It had slopes and sharp turns, trees laying on trails, and miles and miles of nature to see. You could literally get tired of riding. There was so much to do.

I could tell immediately that Legend was no rider. She knew how to accelerate and keep the bike standing, but handling the bike with a little speed was a whole different story. She had me keeping a steady pace because of her inability to keep up. At first, it frustrated me, but I realized that she is exactly what I needed to keep my promise to Daddy. I'll probably have to put her on the back of my bike for a little while so I can ride the way I wanna ride.

"Nessie, you're a great rider. Can you teach me how to handle a bike like that?" Legend asked.

"Yeah, sure, anytime. This is my favorite past time."

"Nessie, you wanna hike the trail a little. There's a stream up there that I know you'd love to see," Brody asked.

"Sure...Legend?"

She nodded her head. We pulled over, parking our bikes, and locking our gear in our compartments. We walked up a pretty steep hill that quickly bottomed out as soon as we got use to walking level.

Brody grabbed my hand, "This way..." He intertwined his fingers in mine, smiling at me. "Nessie...there is no Jacob, is there?"

"Stop harassing her like that. Mom told you to let her be," Legend demanded.

"Shut up. Nessie, tell me the truth." He picked me up, carrying me over a water crossing, messing up his boots. Legend just jumped over it. I never said a word. I didn't know whether I should tell him or not. His advances will probably increase with the truth. "Nessie?"

"Put me down, Brody. Why does it matter?"

He gently placed me on my feet.

"Because I like you, and I want to date you. You know that already. I know you do. I see why I was so attracted to you. Nessie, please. Just one date."

I sighed, pausing for a moment. I thought about lying to him, but they are bringing me home tonight, and they'll probably be asking about Jake. "Brody, Jake and I had a slight disagreement, and he's with his father right now. But I have to tell you...I love him dearly, and I plan on waiting this out. He'll be back, and when he does, I _will_ be available for him. I don't want to deviate from that at all. I'm sorry, but I won't be changing my mind."

He leaned down towards me, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. "You are so beautiful. That's really too bad." The look in his eyes was so soft and sweet that it was really hard to be ugly to him. I knew that the right thing to do was to set my boundaries hard, but I just couldn't. I just smiled.

"Brody, please, this is awkward enough. Stop touching her, looking like a love sick stupid ass puppy. She's been more than honest and patient with you from the beginning. Respect what she's asking you. Mom won't be happy with you making her feel uncomfortable.

"Nessie...do you still want to see the stream? We can go if you don't."

Brody acted like he never heard his sister. He continued touching my face, silently begging me to give him one chance. I just couldn't see it. There was no way I was agreeing to that.

"Nessie...is Jake like you?" Brody whispered, bending closer to my face.

"No."

"Is he immortal?"

"Brody, that's none of your business. If you're wondering if Jake knows about me or if we could have a life together, the answer is yes. Everything else is none of your business. Now, back off." I pushed his hand away from my face. "Let's go. Legend, we'll come see the stream later." I walked back to my bike at vampiric speed. I mounted it and waited for them to get on theirs. I was glad they couldn't move as fast as me. The quietness helped me clear my head. When they finally got to me, I looked at Brody, who now wouldn't look at me in the face. "Brody, I'm sorry for snapping at you. Jake's a sensitive issue right now, but it still doesn't give you free access to ask questions."

"It's alright. I shouldn't have pried. Friends?"

"Friends. Now, let's ride."

The rest of the day went really well. I no longer felt the tension between me and Brody, so it made the ride a whole lot better. We all laughed and talked, absolutely having a great time. Brody even brought a water gun with him. He surprised us with it when we stopped to stretch our legs at the beginning of our last trail. He had even brought an extra two for me and Legend. It was so much fun ducking and dodging the water. We were having a great time.

Out of nowhere, I tripped over something, and went rolling down the hill with Brody. We laughed at ourselves the whole way down. I felt really silly, but the way it happened was hilarious. Somewhere in the distance, I heard Legend screaming my name, panicking. I was having so much fun rolling that I didn't immediately answer her.

When we reached the bottom of the hill, Brody landed on top of me. Immediately, I knew the fun was over. He pinned my arms above my head, looking deeply into my eyes. Before I knew what happened, he was kissing me. Not some chaste kiss, his tongue was rolling across my lips. It totally pissed me off. I quickly rolled us over, stood the both of us up, and slapped him across the face.

"You bastard. That is not what I wanted my first kiss to be like! You should've asked!"

"Nessie...I don't know what..."

"Shut up! Just shut up!" I screamed. When I began walking off, I saw Legend approaching. I was so pissed off that I could barely see straight. I flashed past her, making my way quickly to my bike.

"Nessie, what happened?" She came running behind me.

"Ask your damn brother! Leave me alone!" I made it to my bike, pulled out my cell phone, called my daddy to come pick me up, and headed back to the parking lot. When I got there, I saw Legend and Brody's father. He looked around for his children after he saw me.

"Renesmee, where's Brody and Legend?"

I sighed hard. "I left them on the last trail. I just couldn't take Brody's persistence any more."

"What happened, cher?"

"I don't wanna talk about it. You can ask him. I just called my daddy to come get me, so you don't have to take me home." I turned, trying to end the conversation.

"Renesmee, did he disrespect you? We told 'dat boy to back off. He act like he don't have no good sense sometimes, yeah."

"He did disrespect me, and no...you won't have a problem with my parents. I'll be fine. I just need to cool off." Just then, I heard Legend and Brody's bikes approaching, and saw my father turning off the street. "Would you please keep Brody away from me?" I asked Mr. Shay.

"Mais yeah, cher. I'm so sorry. I'll definitely be speaking to him."

Daddy pulled up. He and Mr. Shay put my bike on the bed of the truck, then passed a few words. Mainly, it was Mr. Shay apologizing for whatever his son did to me, and we were off. Daddy never said a word. He knew already what had happened, and he knew how I felt about it. I had wanted Jake to be the first boy I kissed, now, it's too late.

_I feel like I've been robbed or something. Daddy, why would he do something like that without asking?_

"Baby, I know that you're mad right now, but technically, Jake can still be your first kiss. You never kissed Brody back."

"I know, Daddy, but I still felt his lips and tongue on mine. I can still feel it."

Daddy's face cringed at my words, and the visual that I was sending him.

"How could he do that to me? I was very, very clear about my intentions with him. He could not have misread anything I said.

"Renesmee, it's not your fault. You were crystal clear with him. He just chose to not listen. Boys will do that. They will choose to hear what they want to hear, not exactly what's being said. I'm sure he's really sorry for what he did. Especially after you slapped him."

"Ooohhh, Daddy, I just realized...I hit him. Oh my god. I never looked back to see if I hurt him. Did you see him when you pulled up?"

"Yes, I saw him. Your hand print was splattered across his face, but he was fine. I didn't hear him screaming in pain or anything." He laughed.

"Daddy, it's not funny. How do I avoid this from happening again?"

"Sweetie, you did everything right. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you want them to. The only thing that you have to be careful of is putting your hands on a human in anger. You could seriously injure them, or even kill them."

"I know, Daddy. I'm so sorry. I know I disappointed you today."

"No, honey. You handled yourself like a real lady. I'm proud of you."

When we got home, Daddy told Mom and the rest of the family what happened. Everyone was really upset about what happened, but was also upset about not being able to see their friends tonight.

"Daddy, just call them. They can still come over, can't they?"

"That wouldn't make you uncomfortable?"

"No. I'm going to Jake's anyway. Plus, I feel better after talking to you." I walked toward the door and looked back at him. "Thanks, Daddy, for everything."

That night, I thought about the kiss that Brody put on me. Then I thought about Jake. It angered me and saddened me at the same time. Granted, I didn't want Brody to kiss me, but I did like the way his lips felt against mine. I tried to imagine Jake's lips against mine like that, and his tongue searching out my lips, begging for entrance. I just couldn't really imagine how his warm, soft lips would really feel against mine. Plus, it's possible I may never kiss Jake.

I know Jake. I know that he'll be a hundred percent faithful to his imprint, and I would expect him to be. So, if that's the case, what's so wrong with me kissing Brody? I know. I love Jacob Black. And I will wait on him to see where we stand before I do anything like that with another boy. I owe that to myself. Plus, if things don't work out with Jake, maybe I could try something with Brody. He's really is a sweet boy. If my heart didn't already belong to Jake, I could very easily give it to Brody. Wow, just thinking that put my stomach in knots. I don't ever want to give my heart to anyone but Jake. I'm so confused.

I reached over, grabbing my cellphone. I dialed Jacob. The phone rang forever, it seemed. Still no answer.

I never left Jake's house the whole weekend. Mom and Daddy brought me food and clothes, then left. I feel like such a loser. I hate having my family watch me look weak and desperate. This is totally out of my character. "Jake, I need you. Please come back to me. I can't do this much longer without you." I said out loud, hoping Jake could hear me. I leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed another piece of paper.

_Jake,_

_...and it gets darker every day._

_I am so scared now that you are not here anymore._

_I am so scared my love, but I will wait for you patiently._

_I look in the mirror, but I am not able to see myself._

_Without you, I am nothing._

_I am wondering if you understand my words._

_These words are full of passion._

_I have never felt like this before._

_I wish I could be a child to hold me in your arms forever._

_Renesmee_

**OK, let's make a deal. (I'm stealing this from my beta, so its not an original idea..hehehe) I will give you a preview of the next chapter if I get five reviews. The chapters start to get hotter and hotter after this, and you don't wanna miss it…hot, hot, hot!**

**Reviewing is definitely better than having Brody's nasty, beautiful, crusty, soft, sweet, sour lips against yours...right?**


	9. Could It Be This Easy?

**Chapter 9: Could It Be This Easy?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to the great Stephenie Meyer. Neither do I own the poetry written in this chapter. I also don't own any song or lyrics that are sung, played, or quoted in this chapter. No copyright infringements are intended.**

**Chapter Summary: Jake mourns his loss then gets a wonderful surprise.**

**A/N: To my Readers/Reviewers: I first want to thank you for taking out your precious time to read my story. I know there are thousands of great fics out there, but you chose mine, and I'm honored. Second, I love to read your reviews. They warm my heart and make me feel all warm and tingly inside. I try to answer each one. **

**((((( Jacob's POV)))))**

"Man, what the hell just happened? I actually lunged for Edward, and fought Jasper. What was I thinking? They're family - I love those people. What've I done?" I cried to Billy. "Dad, I was so angry at him for interfering in our relationship. Somehow, I convinced myself that I hated them, but I don't. I love 'em - all of 'em. Dad, I miss her so much."

"Son, everything'll be just fine. Just let some time pass and things'll work out. They love you too. They know you're hurt too."

"But Dad, I think I would've tried to kill her father if I could've. I'm so stupid! Just like I was stupid for leaving her. I promised her that I would always be there for her."

"Jacob Black, listen to me. You did _everything_ you could and then some. Hell, you were even willing to fight your own brothers to protect them. You've given her many years of your life - and for what? For her to disregard you like it meant nothing? You're much better than that. She needs to see how very special you are, and how much of a blessing you were to that whole family."

"Dad, what should I do?"

"Nothing right now. Wait a while. Let her miss you, and get her mind right - then call her. I guarantee you... things'll be different."

"Yeah, but what about now? I've never gone this long without seeing or talking to her. My whole body is craving some type of contact with her. It's like I'm being pulled towards her, but I'm holding back. Desperately. I don't know how long I can hold out before I run back to her, begging her to forgive me."

"Jacob, I can't tell you exactly what to do except what I've already told you. Sleep on it. Maybe it'll be clear tomorrow."

That night, I didn't sleep at all. I missed Nessie so much that my whole body ached to have her near me. Every instinct screamed at me - begging to be near her. The emotions were all consuming. I've never loved anyone so deeply and so completely. I can't imagine ever wanting to do this again. It hurts way too much. The imprint is a strong bond. I see it now, after only a few days away from her. I just want to forget everything and run back to her and beg her to forgive me. I want her to love me, but if she doesn't, that's fine too. I would hate for her to love me just because it's an unwritten rule that she has to, or that she's suppose to. Right now, I would settle for friends - like it's always been. That's why I never told her about our imprinting. She deserves a choice, and I want to give it to her.

It wasn't until the past couple of weeks, when she began questioning me, the imprint, and my personal happiness, that I even considered telling her. She's still so young, and being completely truthful right now may steer her in a direction that she may not be ready for right now. I just wish she would've heard me out. Even if she didn't love me, she would've known how I felt. But she was clear. My presence was only making it harder on her.

I ran through the many details of the past couple of weeks in my mind, until my mind grew tired, and I finally drifted to sleep.

The next day, I tried to get out of the bed, but my resolve was still to just go back to her. In fact, the pull was a hundred times stronger than yesterday. Dying would be easy. Loving her impossible. Billy left me alone the whole day, other than bringing me some food that Sue cooked. I only tasted it. I didn't have an appetite. I just lay in my small bed curled up in a ball crying until my tears no longer came. I thought about us and our future, and how it was all gone. I couldn't ever think past the moment. I couldn't imagine what would happen tomorrow. I didn't want to. A minute without her was hard enough. I knew days and years would break me.

After being home a couple of days, I still never left my room, but I _was_ eating a little. I no longer had any tears. The pain was still tremendous and consuming, but I could breathe a little. That night, the phone rang. Our phone never rings, so it surprised both me and Billy. He went to answer it. Somehow, I already knew who it was.

"Hello," Billy said. When I looked at him, the look on his face was surprise, mixed with pain. He knew I wouldn't be able to resist talking to her. He knew I'd give in. His eyes were tight on me silently begging me to hold firm. He listened to her talk then paused for a long while. At first I thought that maybe the line went dead, but then he spoke.

"Oh... um... hi, Nessie. Jake's here, but he doesn't want to talk. He just asked me to tell you that he still needs some time." In the background, I was shaking my head no. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted her back. If she desired to have me, I would go. Billy was shaking his head - telling me to be quiet.

"Um, hold on..." Billy said, placing his hand on the receiver. "Jacob, she says she just wants to talk to you. She said it's not like she wants you to come back." He put his fingers up in quotes. "Are you willing to make a fool of yourself and further your hurt? Jacob, let time come between this mess. She still is _not_ saying what you need to hear. Now, what do you want me to do?"

"Wow. I was so ready to believe that she changed her mind." My heart began to beat quickly, but still I felt a pull toward the phone - desiring to hear her voice once more. I held back, shaking my head. "Go ahead, Dad. Tell her to stop calling." I walked into my room. My stomach was in knots, and tears were threatening to resurface. I heard him take a deep breath and put the phone back to his ear.

"Um, Nessie, he won't. He says he just doesn't know if he can be just friends with you. He's very hurt, and needs you to not call again."

Nessie must have tried to argue the point. When Billy responded, he was a bit more harsh than I would have preferred him to be with her. "Nessie, please. You made your choice. He accepted it, now accept his." He hung up.

I felt my heart drop. I ran back into the room. "What did you do?" Tears began welling up in my eyes. I grabbed the phone from him, "Dad, I never told you to say that I didn't want to be friends with her! I just need some time to accept that!"

"Jacob, please. You'll never be _only_ friends with her. You love her too much. You..." Before he could get anymore out, the phone rang again. "Jacob, let me get that."

"No, just stay out of this! You've done enough!" I walked into my room, slamming the door behind me.

I answered the phone. "What Renesmee!" I said sternly.

"Jake... I... I'm so sorry..." she began weeping into the phone. "Jake, please, don't do this. I need..."

"Renesmee, listen..." I had to pause for a moment. My resolve was quickly fading every second I heard her crying. I knew I needed to keep it short before I made a fool of myself. "I'm sorry too. I expected something of you that you were unwilling and unable to give to me. For that, I am... I was wrong. I only wanted you to be happy. I still do. So, that's why I'm asking you to not call here again. It hurts me too much to hear your voice. Maybe in time we can begin talking again, but now..."

"Jake, wait... hear me out, please. I was wrong. I love you. I know that now." Her voice began breaking up after each word. Her emotions confused me. If she didn't want me to come back, why was she so emotional?

"Renesmee..."

"Jake, please stop calling me that," she requested sweetly.

"Nessie, you've always loved me. I knew that. It just hurt me when you refused to talk to me about the imprint, even after you knew. I love you, but I really need some time to get past this, and I don't know how long it'll take. I need you to respect what I'm asking. I need my space from you and your family. I've given everything I had of myself to you. Now, I need to take care of _myself _and get _myself_ together."

"Jake, no. Please, you're not understanding me... I..." I hung up on her. I knew that another moment on the phone, listening to her like that would break me. I threw the phone against the wall, breaking it into a thousand pieces.

"Dammit! Dammit!" I screamed, grabbing fists full of hair and pulling. "Why does fate hate me so much! How could I love two women in the same family and get rejected twice?" I fell to my knees. My heart no longer wanted to fight. It wanted me to run out of the house and back to Victoria, tonight. My body felt like it was broken into a thousand little pieces, and came back together. At every point, pain existed. A dense, all consuming pain flooded my heart.

My mind went back to years ago when I loved Bella. I had given her all I had, too. I desperately fought for her, and still, I lost her to Edward. It hurt, but once I saw Renesmee, I couldn't remember what had drawn me so closely to Bella. She's been my whole world ever since the day she was born. The pain I felt for losing Bella doesn't compare even a tiny bit to the pain I feel today.

I thought I didn't have anything to worry about. The imprinting would pull us together regardless, and I could truly love again one day. I was wrong - very wrong. Maybe if I had put some effort into our love and told her years ago - things would be different today. I was so stupid. I should've known she wouldn't love me. She _is_ Bella's daughter after all. It's always someone else.

I walked over to my stereo and pressed play to what ever was in there. The Fray song, "You found me" was playing. Oh, how perfect. I did find her, but I was way too late. Now, I _am_ lost and insecure. The song began to piss me off. I yanked the cord out, and threw the stereo into the wall.

Billy came rushing into my room in his wheel chair. "Jacob! That won't to fix anything! Calm yourself down, boy!"

"Get out of my room! I don't need you trying to fix anything else! Get out!" I screamed at him.

His face fell, but he did as I asked. He turned around and left. Moments later, I heard the front door close.

The next four or five days went by in a blur. I was no closer to feeling better than I'd been a week earlier - and I didn't know what to do to make it better.

When I got up to get myself a sandwich, I happened to look up at the calendar.

_Nessie's birthday is this week._ _I've never missed any of her birthday celebrations. Damnit!_

In fact, I made her a promise bracelet many years ago, and every year, I add personalized charms to it. I guess last year was her last one. I took in a deep breath, registering what I just thought. "Wow. How did I even get here? How did it all go so wrong?"

I stood there, imagining her smiling and laughing. It wasn't very clear in my mind anymore and that bothered me. I allow the pain to stay. It reminds me of her, but my memories are even more important. Without them, what do I really have?

I wanted to hear her voice just once more. I picked up the phone and began dialing her number, but I hung the phone up. She's probably really mad at me right now for refusing to talk to her all week. She hasn't called in a few days, so maybe she's given up hope in seeing or talking to me. I guess I got what I wanted.

When Billy came back in from getting the mail, he had a smile on his face, and lifted a letter out of the pile toward me. "Jacob, she wrote you a letter. Do you want it?" he smiled and handed it to me. I just stood there for a moment - afraid to take it and read any type of rejection from her. I took the letter and went to my room. I threw it on my dresser and sat on my bed, staring at the letter. I wanted to open it, but without knowing what it said, I knew I wouldn't be able to. I put on a coat and went out back to my garage.

When I got back there, I pulled out my tools for making wooden figures. I knew it would take me two days to finish one if I worked all day, but what else did I have to do? I still had time to mail it to her even after the two days.

I began by drawing what I wanted to make. It was a figure of a man and a woman intertwined, but their actual bodies never touched - only their arms, legs and their heart. Each figure's heart was extended outside of their chest, meeting in the middle. I had planned on making her a heart, but this seemed more fitting. I began to work on it immediately.

I worked the whole day and night. I finally took a nap in the shop for a couple of hours, but I didn't want to waist any time on sleep. I needed to get this done. At the end of day two, I had the figure finished. I found a silver clasp to finish the jewelry. It was just four o'clock, and I had plenty of time to get it to the post office to reach her on Friday. I ran to the house, took a shower, got dressed in a white t-shirt and black jeans, grabbed the package and stopped.

When I grabbed the package, her letter fell to the floor. I stood there, staring at it. I walked off, still trying to make my way to the post office. When I got outside, something in me wouldn't let me leave without that letter. I took a deep breath and went back inside. I picked up the letter and sat on the bed. I opened it and read every word.

To my surprise, I read it again then again. "Wait...she's saying that she doesn't really know about the imprint. She doesn't know I imprinted on her?"

_I'm sure Edward and Bella would've told her by now. Wouldn't they? Plus, she said he told her about it that day before I left. _

I read the letter again. "Oh. My. God!"

_He was only encouraging her to talk to me about it, but she obviously didn't know what theit was._ _I left for nothing! I fought her father and uncle!_

"Dad!"

I ran to the living room where Billy was. "Read this!" He took the letter and read it, then read it again. He looked up at me in sorrow.

"Son, I'm so sorry. This could've all been avoided. I didn't help you."

"Dad, forget that! She loves me. I have to go," I said excitedly.

"Jacob, wait, what'll you do?"

"I don't know. I'll call you," I rushed out.

I ran out the house, ripping my shirt off, grabbing a tie and sack to put my pants, shoes, wallet, and her gift in. I phased when I hit the woods and broke out in a frantic run. I knew I could be there in a day if I hurried.

I suddenly heard a rustling sound behind me. It sounded like something large approaching. I stopped in my tracks, turning toward the sound, taking a defensive stance, pulling my lips back exposing my teeth, and expelling a slow growl.

_Woah... Jake... it's Seth... relax. I was leaving my patrol and saw you running through the woods, so I came to check on you. Where're you going?_

_Back to Nessie. Go back home, Seth._

_Now you know I can't do that. I'm with you again. Don't you realize you can hear me again?_

_Seth! Go back to the pack! I don't want a pack! I just want to be left alone. Plus, you know that your sister will follow you, and I definitely don't wanna deal with her. Go back now, Seth!_

_Sorry, Bro. No can do. If you're going, then I'm going._

_What ever. We'll deal with this later._

We returned to running full speed for almost two days. There were some transitional areas where we had to phase to be unnoticed, but we ran the majority of the trip

My mind was racing, wondering about what would happen when I reached their home. My greatest concern was me having to face Edward and Jasper after our fight weeks ago. I really didn't know where their mind was about it, so I decided to call 'em before I just showed up.

When we made it to Victoria the next day, I stopped at a pay phone to call Edward's cell phone.

**Alright my favorite readers. Tell me whatcha think. You've asked about Jake, and all of you wanted him back. **

**So… how do you think Edward'll respond when he hear's Jake's voice? What about Jasper? Nessie?**

**I just love how things are about to turn out. **

**~*O*~**

**Here's a preview of the next chapter:**

**====Nessie POV===**

**It was perfect… too perfect.**

**I took a deep breath in then hung my head. Seeing the car sent me through a range of emotions – happy, sad, then angry. It reminded me that Jake was gone, and would never get to ride with me. It also pissed me the hell off that someone went through Jake's things and finished what he should've. I sat down on the porch. I wanted to start screaming at them, but I felt like all of my fight had been kicked out of me.**

"**What's wrong? You don't like it?" I heard Jake ask.**

**~*O*~**

**Alright everyone… I know I shouldn't've done that, but I'm so excited to finally get Jake back. I hope you appreciate it too now show me some love. Let me know whatcha think… *kisses***


	10. The Best Birthday Ever

**Chapter 10: The Best Birthday, Ever**

**((((( Renesmee's POV )))))**

Monday morning, all I wanted was to just stay in the bed. I didn't have Jake, Legend or Brody there for me anymore. I shouldn't have screamed at her like I did. She did nothing to me. Plus, she did try to warn me.

Aunt Ali, of course, showed up as perky as ever. It was disgusting to be a witness to it. I drug myself out of the bed, allowing her to totally dress me.

"Aunt Ali... can't I miss one day? I really don't feel up to dealing with the drama today." Just as I said that, Legend walked in the room. "Legend?" I practically screamed.

"Hi, Nessie. I stayed over with Alice last night. I wanted to talk to you then, but your parents asked me to wait until this morning. I hope it's alright?"

"Yeah, sure. Legend... I'm really sorry for the way I treated you. You did nothing to me except be a really good friend. I'm so sorry."

She smiled. "No need to apologize. I would've been just as angry if I were you. My brother is a pig, and doesn't understand anything about girls. I only hope you don't think that I'm anything like him."

"Of course not!" I went to her and hugged her. "Thank you Legend. You're really a great friend." I hugged her tighter.

"Can't... breathe..." Legend said struggling for breath.

"Oh...sorry." I let her go, and giggled.

Legend took a deep breath and smiled back at me. "Nessie, before we go, I need to explain something to you." We sat down. "Now, I'm not trying to justify my brother's actions, but I want for you should understand a little about my family. As you know, my mother is a Nymph. She has a gift to love others unconditionally - she's drawn to people with pure spirits, and those with the best of intentions. On the other hand, my father is dark. He's not mean or anything, but he can be very manipulative in his business dealings. He's a practicing Warlock… for pay. He is very gifted and is well respected for his abilities. My brother, unfortunately, has obtained both of their gifts, simultaneously, and he has no idea how to deal with it. He meets girls... usually virgins... their spirits are pure which makes him absolutely drawn to them. He even falls in love with them, drawing from their pureness. At some point, his feelings change after he has sex with them. That's when my father comes out in him. He turns cold and manipulative. Basically, very hurtful to the one he had just declared his undying love for just days prior. Even though I know he should've learned by now, he's convinced that the next girl will be different for him, and promises not to treat her that way. Mom has tried everything she could to help him with dealing with his gifts, but she's had no luck. Daddy has even spoken to him, explaining to him that he will never completely fall in love with anyone if he doesn't slow down, and accept things for what they are - his gifts fighting against themselves. So, Nessie, that's why I warned you to stay away from him. I didn't want that to happen to you too. I always warn the girls, but they never listen to me until it's too late. I just wanted to tell you a little about us, and partially explain his actions yesterday. He feels like he's in love with you, and he can't understand why you aren't responding the same way. No one has ever rejected him before, and he has resolved that this between the two of you must be true love. Nessie, he won't physically hurt you, but I wish you'd just speak to him and move forward. Stop this and I quote 'friendship' that the two of you have. It won't get any better. I promise. Do you have any questions for me?"

"Yes...why is it that every time you touch me when I'm mad, it all goes away?"

"Well..." She laughed. "I didn't tell you about my gift. My gift runs two ways. I have a love for Mother Earth just like my mother. I go out with her often to tend to nature, and I have what humans would call a 'green thumb'. I can bring any plant, tree or animal back to life, or help it bud if it's having problems. The other part of my gift is what I call compassion. If I place my hands on you, I can remove all anger or fear from you, almost completely. Usually, people cant even remember what they were mad about or afraid of. Is that what happened to you when I touched you those two times?"

My mouth fell open. "Yes. Legend! Those are the coolest gifts ever! Can you do the same thing with humans that you do with plants?"

"I honestly don't know. I've never tried it."

"Wow! How cool would that be?" I squeaked. "Wanna see mine?"

"Alright, alright, ladies. It's fifteen minutes before school starts. We can finish this up later." We all jumped up, and ran to the car.

When we got to school, Brody pulled up right beside us. We got out the car, but he remained in his. He never looked up. After a few minutes, he surfaced from the car, walking up to the three of us. "Good morning. Legend, Alice, Nessie." We all spoke. "Nessie, can I talk to you?" I nodded my head, stepping a few paces forward. "Nessie. I'm so sorry for my stupid actions on the hill. I know you don't believe me because I keep messing up, but I _am_ really sorry. I saw how much I hurt you, and I took something from you that I can't give back. I hope that one day you can forgive me."

"I forgive you today, Brody. And, yes, you hurt me, and you took that from me, so we won't be getting that close any time soon again, but I hope we can still be friends, somehow. Your sister explained to me about your unique situation, and I feel for you, but please understand - I love Jake, and I always will. So, you need to move on before you totally destroy our friendship."

"I understand. I'm thinking about changing schools or maybe home schooling. The attraction that I have to you is too strong to promise you that I won't do that again - but, I promise I'll fight with everything in me to be sure I don't."

"Changing schools is kind of major, isn't it? Can't you work on it here? If you can beat it with me, maybe you won't hurt any other girls."

"I'll try, but my mom is looking into other schools now. Again, I'm really sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

School started as usual, and ended as usual. The only difference was that Brody didn't walk me to all of my classes, and he didn't talk to me during class unless it was necessary. At lunch, he sat with us, but on the other side of the table.

Maybe everything'll be alright.

Every evening after school, Legend, Brody and their parents would come over to the main house. Grandma and Inya were two of a kind. They were just alike. So sweet and loving, and both of them adored their family. It was sometimes hard being near them. It was like having three moms. Mine and the two of them. So affectionate and loving, it was disgusting sometimes.

Phadrus and Uncle Emmit seemed to kick it off the best. The joked around and never held their tongues about anything. It was like having two grown, out of control children in the house. They didn't care if their words embarrassed you or not. They just said it anyway. Aunt Rosie and Inya were constantly giving them the evil eye, or popping them.

Legend, Brody and I usually just went back to our cabin or upstairs in my room. I never brought Brody to Jake's cabin. Brody, as the days passed seemed resolved in his actions, and even met a new girl at school that he liked.

We even got together a couple of days with Aunt Ali to talk about the last minute party preparations. I was getting really excited. I knew somehow that my seventeenth would be my best yet. Well, as good as it could be without Jake. Anyway, I tried to stay positive.

Wednesday night, when I went to bed, the tug that usually pulls at my heart with a ripping tightness when I think of Jake wasn't pulled as tightly as it is usually. I felt encouraged. Maybe I was finally beginning to heal. Finally accepting the inevitable.

I reached over and wrote this to Jake...

Jake,

Regret, that is what I feel.

I do my deeds every day,

but they do not make me feel any better.

I am searching for your love.

Flowers bloom in a strange way,

now that you are not by my side.

I watch the flowers and I cry.

I know this is madness.

I wrap this present for you.

Please close your eyes and think of me.

I will always love you...

Renesmee

Thursday morning, I felt really good - surprisingly. My heart felt like it was healing. I got up and met Aunt Ali at the house, totally surprising her since she always has to pry me out the house. The day went really great.

**((((( Edward's POV)))))**

"Alice, what's wrong? What do you see? Everything is passing so fast. What's going on?" I asked, trying to concentrate on her vision.

"Edward, I don't know. Every morning, I try to look out for Nessie. This is what I get today. I don't understand." We both took a deep breath in, obviously thinking the the same thing. We said in unison..

"Jacob."

Right then, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but I answered anyway. "Edward..." Jacob said. I looked at Alice, pointing to the phone, mouthing to her that it was Jacob on the line.

"Yes, hello Jacob." I said cheerfully.

"Edward. I'm so sorry for how I treated you and Jasper in La Push. It was stupid and irresponsible of me. I allowed my misjudgment to rule what I knew already in my heart. I'm calling today to ask for forgiveness."

"Jacob, of course, you're family. This is a local number. Are you in town?"

"Um, yes. Can I come over?"

"Well, yes, but wait until after eight o'clock. Let Renesmee leave for school before you come. Is that alright?" I asked.

"Yes, of course." He sounded sad.

"Jacob. I'm not trying to keep you from her. I just would like to talk to you before you talk to her. Alright?"

"Alright. I understand. I have Seth with me. Can he come too? He wouldn't let me come alone."

"Jacob, like I said before, we're family. You can bring whoever you like. You still have a home here."

"Alright. Edward...thanks."

"Alright. I'll tell Bella. She'll be ecstatic to hear that you're here. Goodbye."

I looked at Alice and smiled, dialing Bella's number. "Sweetheart, guess who just called...Jacob. He's in town, and will be here after eight. Come right over when you get ready." I hung up. "Alice, this will be the best birthday ever for Renesmee. She'll be so excited."

Renesmee came to the house around seven o'clock. "Baby, what are you doing here so early? You still have an hour."

"I don't know. I feel really good today. The pain in my stomach and heart seem to have let up. I felt a new energy to get out of bed this morning. I thought you'd be glad." She sounded sad.

"Oh, I am! Just surprised, that's all." Alice and I looked at each other, smiling. We knew exactly why Renesmee was feeling like that – Jacob was near and her heart knew it.

They left about seven thirty. Renesmee wanted to hang out before class in the parking lot. She seemed to really be liking school now.

Bella arrived, and the family all gathered in the main area, awaiting Jacob. I spoke to Jasper about his feelings about what happened with Jacob. He was as excited to see Jacob back with the family as Bella and I were.

Jacob arrived with Seth just after eight. Bella ran out, grabbing him up in a big hug, placing kisses all over his face. It's amazing looking back at our past , and how now Bella and I both look at Jacob as a son. "Jake! I've missed you sooo much." She hugged him again. "Don't you ever leave us like that again." She said sternly, and pushed his chest. "You stay here and work things out. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, ma'am." He smiled.

"I agree with her. Don't ever do that again. Everyone here has missed your presence in this family...even Rose." We all laughed.

"Don't speak for me. The dog can come and go as he pleases." Rose said, smiling at Jake, and showing him her middle finger.

"Hello, Seth." I extended my hand. "How are you?"

"Fine. I was just worried about Jake. I hope you don't mind."

I looked at him, smiling. "You're family too. You always will be."

"Come in, Jake, Seth." Bella said.

We all went inside and got comfortable. "Well, everyone, I wanna first say that I was wrong. I'm very sorry for any disrespect that I may have given you. All of you have been family to me for a long time now, and Edward and Jasper, you didn't deserve any of that. I hope you can forgive me because I need to be around Nessie." Jake nervously smiled, but his eyebrows frowned.

Everyone agreed in their own terms and words. "Can I go get washed up? I've been running for two days, and I know I smell really _good_ right now."

"_Good_ is definitely the wrong word, Dog. Get out of here before I throw up my food from earlier." Rose added.

He and Seth left to get cleaned up and quickly returned. "Edward, can I talk to you outside?" Jacob asked.

"What's going on?" Edward asked as we stepped outside.

"Nothing...I had been building a car for Nessie for the past six months, and I would like to finish installing the accessories for it. Is that alright?"

"Sure. You didn't have to bring me out here to say that."

"Well, I also wanted to see if it would be alright to not tell her that I'm here until tomorrow. I saw her flier on the counter at the cottage for her party, and I would love to surprise her at her party."

"I think that's a great idea. Where will you stay?"

"Maybe in a hotel. It's only for one night."

"Alright. She'll be so happy. Jacob. I didn't say it earlier, but thank you for coming back. I missed you, Son. Oh, you _will_ tell her about the imprinting tomorrow night, right? Don't let it go another day." I asked the question, but was really making a statement. This confusion has gone on long enough.

"Yes, of course. Edward...why didn't you and Bella just tell her when I left?"

"It wasn't our place. She deserved to hear it from you. So, either you tell her, or she'll never know. Besides that piece of information would have made the situation much worse. Trust me."

"Ah...thank you for that. I hope she understands. I hope she doesn't feel like I've lied to her all these years."

"She'll be just fine. Just do it, Jacob. Just come out with it. Alright?"

**((((( Jacob's POV)))))**

"Wow, Seth, that went way better than I had hoped."

"Yeah, man, you were stupid for leaving anyway. You know how the imprinting works. Even though one or the other doesn't immediately see the attraction, it doesn't mean they won't eventually. You let your love go for some stupid misunderstanding. You're an idiot, dude," Seth scolded me.

"Wow...thanks Seth. You're a great friend." I said sarcastically.

"Well, it's true. When I imprint, heaven, hell, nor the Vultori will be able to keep me from her."

"Thinking of that...have you been getting out? It's been years." I asked.

"Sure. Leah and I are the only two that haven't imprinted. Maybe I'll find her here in Victoria." We both laughed.

"Don't dismiss it so easily. Maybe you will."

Seth helped with the final accessories, and we left before Nessie got back home.

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

"Daddy! Daddy! Come here! Daddy!" I called, running back to the main house.

Daddy and Mom came quickly to my side, looking worried, scanning the trees and around the house for danger, taking a defensive stance in front of me.

I giggled. "Daddy, Mom, calm down. Come here."

I pulled them by the hand into Jake's cottage. "He's been here. He came back. Have you seen him?"

"Renesmee, what makes you think he was here?" Mom asked confused.

"Well for one, I smell him, plus, I didn't use those towels this morning. You don't smell him?"

"Actually, no. At least no more than usual. Are you alright, honey?" Mom asked.

I sat down on the end of the bed. "But...but..." I was sure that I smelled him. I must not have if they don't. Great. Now, my mind is playing tricks on me.

Mom came up to me, holding me close. "Baby, it's OK. Just calm down. Wanna go see the main house? Its fully decorated for the party tomorrow."

"Sure...I...um...alright. Let's go." I looked back at the bedroom and the bathroom. My hopes seem to have faded just as quickly as they came. I walked to the main house with my head down. I took a couple of deep breaths, then walked in to see the decorations. "Wow, Aunt Ali. You did all of this today?"

"Yes...do you like?" She chirped.

I smiled widely at her. "Absolutely. It is perfect."

She had the whole house decorated with pink and black. If there was a place for tool, lights, or any various decorations, it was decorated. The massive table had been decorated also to hold the food and drinks. She even had pink and black lights wrapped up the stairs on all three levels.

"Come outside, Nessie. You'll love this." We walked to the edge of the grounds. I looked up our street that led to the highway. "What do you think?"

She had taken the pink and black lights and wrapped every fifth tree all the way to the highway. It was so beautiful. It looked like you were approaching somewhere very important - even fun. If anyone misses the house, they're definitely going blind.

"Well..." She squeaked at me.

I hugged her. "Aunt Ali...it's perfect. I couldn't've asked for better. Thank you." I smiled, but it didn't reach my eyes.

"Nessie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm alright," I answered and tried to hold back my tears.

"No you're not. What happened?"

"Well, I went back to Jake's cottage after school today, and I thought he had been there. I smelled him Aunt Ali! Well, I thought I did. It just made me sad. That's all," I sighed. "I thought he had come back to me," I began sobbing into my hands. "I miss him so much."

"Ah, honey. Don't give up hope. He loves you. He'll be back. I promise."

She hugged me and led me back to the main house. When I walked in, I smelled him again - all over the house, even in the garage.

_Now I know that I'm losing my mind. If he had been here, they would have seen him and smelled him. I know that for sure. _

That night, I went to bed. My heard didn't feel that hard tugging that I've felt for weeks, and it angered me. I don't want to let him go yet. I want the pain to stay. I cried into my pillow. "Oh, Jake. I miss you so much. Please come back to me. Please, Jake." After a couple of hours, I didn't feel as sad anymore. Plus, the pain in my heart wouldn't return, no matter how much I tried to get it back. I got up and began reading a magazine. I saw a couple in love and kissing, and I thought about the kiss that Brody gave me, then I imagined Jake kissing me. It saddened me to know that I may never experience that with Jake. I went back to the room and got out a pen and paper.

Jake,

Confess yourself to me.

No! What have I done to you?

My heart just can not heal.

Tear my heart out.

I am a child within your hands.

Forgiveness now I seek.

Your forgiveness, my love.

I am ready to sacrifice.

My heart will never heal.

Close my eyes and let me fall.

Please hug me for one last time.

Then, I'll become your Guardian Angel.

Nessie

Well, today is the day. I drug myself out of the bed, having just gone to sleep around three o'clock. I really didn't care how I looked, so I just threw on some jeans, a t-shirt and some lip gloss with my hair in a messy ponytail. Aunt Ali came over to pick me up for school.

"You ready for tonight?" She asked way too perky for my shitty mood.

"I guess," I responded shrugging my shoulders.

"Ah, Nessie, perk up. This will be your best birthday ever!"

"Huh, I guess. I don't know how it can be if Jake's not here, but I guess." I shrugged again.

Everyone at school was really hyped up about the party. Everyone wished me happy birthday all day long. I just wished I could have gotten everyone in the same room and had them say it at the same time. By the end of the day, it was tiring.

Brody found me before I got to the car. "Nessie! Wait! What do you want for your birthday?"

I shrugged. "I don't care. Whatever you think. I'll be happy if you and Legend just come."

"Ah, Nessie. You have to want something. Can I buy you a necklace? Would you wear it?"

"Sure I would." I smiled.

"Brody, don't go do anything stupid." Legend warned. "Mom will surely send you to an all boys school if you mess up again," Legend scolded him.

"Shut up Legend. The gift will be from both of us," he rolled his eyes at her.

I laughed at them bickering.

"We have to go." Alice added. "See you both around six. I want her closest friends there before the school shows up." We got in the car and headed home. I took a couple of deep breaths, wondering if I could get a whiff of Jake again - nothing.

When we got home, everyone was in full party mode. Mom, Grandma, Aunt Rosie and Aunt Ali were moving so fast that I barely saw them myself. It was actually really funny how they just zipped by each other, never touching.

Aunt Ali pulled me upstairs. "Come on, Nessie. I only have about three hours to get you looking perfect."

We went into her massive bathroom. She had make up everywhere.

"Aunt Ali. I never bought an outfit for tonight." I said horrified.

She laughed. "Do you know who planned this party? I would never forget something so important. You know that." She said bubbly, but offended.

She threw me in the shower. When I finish, she wanted me in my underwear only, wrapped in a towel. Mom and Aunt Rosie began doing my hair, and Aunt Ali began on my face. "Don't you think I should at least put my shirt on before my hair and face are done?"

"Shhhh." Aunt Ali said, continuing her voyage all over my face.

"Ouch, what are you two doing to my hair? Slow down. It hurts!" I whined.

"We're braiding the back and sides, so keep still. It won't hurt forever – big baby," Aunt Rose teased.

After a few hours, we were ready for my outfit. They refused to let me see myself until everything was perfect. Aunt Ali came in with the most beautiful dress. I was able to step into it, thankfully. It was pink with black designs all over. It had a spaghetti strap top, and it flowed to my mid thigh. It came with a pair of black tights, but all three ladies agreed to lose the tights, and add a tall heel. Aunt Ali bought three pairs of shoes, unsure of which one would be perfect. In my opinion, any one would have been more than perfect. When they were finish they turned me to the mirror.

I almost didn't recognize myself. I moved to make sure that the girl in the mirror was actually me. I looked like a...lady. They were all waiting for my reaction. I turned to them and smile sidely. "Thank you all so much. I love it. I look so beautiful!" I squeaked.

"I know. No one will be able to hold a candle to you tonight. It's your night, honey." Mom said. "Now, we have about two hours before the party starts. We want to give you our presents first." We all went downstairs.

Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett bought me some new accessories to soup up my motorcycle. I was happy. Dad had refused to get them for me months ago. Grandma and Grandpa gave me a new riding jacket. Aunt Ali and Uncle J gave me a beautiful ring and necklace set. The stone in the center was large and pink. The pink stone was surrounded by two rows of black diamonds. The ring exactly matched it. Daddy and Mom gave me a new iPhone and all of the accessories, plus three one hundred dollar iTunes gift cards. I received all of the gifts, individually hugging and thanking everyone for being so thoughtful.

When I was finish, they all looked at me like we weren't finish. They had to goofiest looks on their faces.

"What?" I asked, knowing there was more.

"Well, honey, brace yourself! You have a surprise outside," Mom said excitedly.

What was waiting for me was the car that Jacob had been drawing for the past year. Someone had built, and finished the car. It was the most beautiful car that I'd ever seen, and it looked just like me. It was shiny black with black and chrome rims. The doors opened up like a Lamborghini, and it was tinted very dark. On top, it had a sunroof that spanned the width of the roof, and it had a custom kit under the car. It was perfect. Too perfect.

I took a deep breath in then hung my head. Seeing the car sent me through a range of emotions – happy, sad, then angry. It reminded me that Jake was gone, and would never get to ride in it with me, and it pissed me the hell off that someone went through Jake's things and finished what he should've. I sat down on the porch. I wanted to start fussing, but I felt like all of my life had been kicked out of me.

"What's wrong? You don't like it?" I heard Jacob say. I jumped up to my feet, scanning the area around me. I didn't see him. Everyone moved to the side, and there he was, exiting the house.

"Jake!" I ran quickly into his arms, jumping on him, wrapping my legs around his waist, immediately kissing him on the lips. "I've missed you!" I kissed him again and again and repeated that over and over. He chuckled, hugging me tightly, but returning the kisses with just as much passion as I was.

"I've missed you too. Every second I was gone. I love you, Renesmee Cullen."

"I love you too, Jacob Black." I hugged him tighter.

Everyone went back in the house to give us some privacy. Jacob walked with me in his arms to the car, placing me on the trunk. "Nessie, you look really beautiful," he said sincerely.

I giggled. "Thank you. Aunt Ali must have gotten to you too. You look great." He smiled.

"Nessie..." I didn't let him finish. I pulled him close and planted another kiss on him. He seemed eager to return them, but he pulled away. My mouth went straight into a pout.

"Nessie, listen to me. I need to tell you something. It can't wait another second."

"Oh, Jake, please don't. Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"No, it can't. Nessie, when I got your letter, I realized that this whole mess was a huge misunderstanding. You have to listen to me before we go any further."

I sighed. "Man, Jake," I crossed my arms, and pouted.

He placed his hands on my arms, and gently unfolded them, then took my hands in his. "Nessie, just let me get it out, please." He took a deep breath. "You are _her_, Nessie. _You_ are my imprint." He paused, and looked into my eyes, waiting for a response.

My mouth fell open as I process what he was saying, and my eyes bucked wide. "What did you just say?" I whispered.

"Nessie, _you_ are my imprint. You have been since the day you were born. The moment I first saw you, I knew. My life has never been the same since. You never suspected it? You never questioned why a werewolf would be living with a coven of vampires?"

I pushed Jake back and jumped off the car. "Let me get this straight. You've known all this time that _I_ was your imprint, but you never told me, then you up and left me because I wanted you to find her?" I screamed at him then pushed him again.

"Well, it didn't _really_ go like that. I thought you knew that last time we talked on the phone. You told me that your father told you, and that you didn't want to hear about it. I thought you knew, Nessie, and weren't interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I left because my presence here seemed to be making you more and more unhappy," he said putting his head down.

"Oh, Jake...I was unhappy because I had fallen in love with you, and was sad that you couldn't love me in return because of your imprint. So, wait...you do love me?" I asked confused.

"Of course I do! You are my whole life. My whole world. You don't know how hard it was staying away from you these weeks." 

"Come here." I pulled him close to me and kissed him. Only this time, my tongue traced his lower lip, and when he allowed me entrance, I devoured his mouth. The kiss seemed to last forever, mind was everywhere, and my body melted in his arms. I was exactly where I wanted to be – needed to be. During the kiss, Jake pulled me even closer, picking me up, causing me to straddle him again. His hands were all over me, and mine on him.

Daddy stepped back outside clearing his throat, twice. "Renesmee, let Jacob go. Come in the house, or go take a ride in your new car. But either way, I need you two to stop that right now," Daddy said sternly.

Jake and I finally let go, both of us giggling, then one more peck before he let me down. I just stood there holding him and laid my head on his chest.

_I really don't care what Daddy says. I'm not ready to let him go just yet. _

"I heard that Renesmee. Now." Daddy said sternly.

"Come on, Jake. Show me my new car." Jake smiled his big beautiful smile that he reserved only for me. He looked so beautiful. The mixture of his gorgeous body, his tanned skin, that short hair cut, and his wonderful musky smell, made him absolutely breathtaking and irresistible to me. I don't think I've ever looked at Jake like this before. It's like seeing him through new eyes. I liked it. No...I loved it!

To heighten the mood, the way that Jake was looking at me stirred feelings in me that I've never experienced before. My body felt really exposed, mushy. My girlie parts had a weird reaction or sensation, but not uncomfortable. I've never been turned on before, but if this is what it's like, I am definitely going to like this. My head was cloudy, and all I could think about was being in Jake's arms, kissing his warm lips, feeling his smooth, strong arms around me. My heart began to race thinking about it all. My hands became clammy, and I found it hard to focus.

Jake must have noticed the change in my reactions, and smiled. He leaned down to my ear. "Come on, Nessie, lets go take a ride." Being that I've never learned how to drive, Jake put me in the passenger seat, strappedme in, then returned to the driver seat. As soon as he got in the car, I leaned over, and gave him a quick kiss. "Ready, Nessie? You'll love this. It's really fast." I never said a word. I only kept my eyes pasted on him, committing to memory every line, curve, color and scar on his beautiful face.

"Jake, find somewhere to park. We probably only have about forty-five minutes." Jake went straight to an open park, where tourists pass to stretch their legs. As soon as he stopped, I jumped over the console straddling his lap. "Jacob Black. I am so glad to see you. Thank you for reading that note. I love you so much," I leaned in to kiss him.

He stopped me, then chuckled. "Nessie, let me look at you." He took a deep breath in, then out, then did it again. "Ah, I've missed that smell. I thought I was forgetting it."

I leaned in to kiss him, again. He placed his hands on each of my cheeks, pulling me close. "I love you, Renesmee Cullen. I promise. I'll never leave you again, and I promise to hear you out, to never let a misunderstanding come between us again."

"Jake...shhhh. Kiss me." My eyes were heavy lidded, my lips eager, and my hands were definitely searching. Finally, he kissed me. As it progressed, it deepened. I felt all of the love that he had for me, as I tried to let him know my love for him. I reached behind his head, hugging at his hair, further pulling him to me. I readjusted my body on top of him, pressing my chest against his. He weaved his arms under mine, while rubbing my back. This went on for I don't know how long. At some point, we both needed air, so I moved over to kiss his lower jaw, his earlobe, his neck, while rubbing everywhere my hands would reach.

All of a sudden, I felt something hard between us. I looked down to find that it was Jacob. His rising erection felt like someone had just placed a stick in between us. "Oh, Nessie...I'm sorry. Your touch does something to me. I didn't mean to react like that," he apologized.

I smiled at him. "Shhhh...it's alright. Have you ever had sex Jake?"

"No! Absolutely not. And I don't plan on it for a while."

"Why?"

"Well, for one, we need to be married before we try anything like that, and two, your father would kill me." He chuckled. "Let's go, Nessie."

He lifted me off of him, and placed me back in the passenger seat.

"No. I'm not finish. I don't have enough of you yet." I tried to cross the divider again, but he stopped me. "Jake, what's the problem? Didn't you miss me? Don't you wanna kiss me?"

"Of course I did and do. But Nessie, you saw what happened. Sitting on my lap with that small dress on is not safe. Please, don't do that again." He begged. "Plus, I know you're having a reaction to me too. I can smell it."

"Fine, let's get out then." I stepped out of the car and got in the back seat. "Come on Jake. Come and show me what all of these buttons are." Jake smiled, and did as I asked. We returned to our kissing session. I leaned back, and he followed, ending up on top of me. His hands were all over me and it felt so good. I wanted to go farther. I wanted to give him everything I had. He kissed me so softly, but deeply, building every moment. I reached around, placing my hands on his skin under his shirt, rubbing up and down his back. I felt his erection rising again. He tried to pull away, but I held him close, wrapping my legs around him too, not letting him break the kiss. I moved my hands down, feeling his bottom. Jake began shaking his head no, then pulled his lips away from me.

"Nessie baby, no. We can't. I won't."

"Jake, it's our choice. Not anyone else's. I want you to have it. I want you."

"Nessie, not like this. Not in the back seat of a car...not our first time. Plus, neither of us have done this before. No. I won't even consider it."

"Fine, Jacob. Let me up." He chuckled, then let me up, maintaining eye contact with me. "Jake, what's the big deal? We love each other. We've known each other all our lives. Why not? It's not like we need to get to know each other?" I shrugged then leaned back into him, rubbing his chest. Jake removed my hands, opened the back door, and returned to the front seat without a word.

"Nessie, let's go." I got out and got back in the front seat. "I love you, baby. Happy Birthday." I folded my arms, chastely smiling at him. He laughed at me. "You haven't changed...still stubborn as hell."

We got to the house in no time. Only Legend and Brody were there so far. Aunt Ali wanted my friends there to help welcome the guests. When we pulled up, Jacob opened the door for me, and we walked around. "Wow, Nessie. That's a hot ride. What is it?" Legend asked. "Who is this?" She gestured toward Jake.

"Legend, this is Jake. He came back earlier today for my party - actually for me." I looked up at Jake, smiling.

"Jacob...nice to meet you. She has missed you terribly. I'm glad you came back. Will you be attending Victoria High?"

Jake looked at me. "We don't know. We've only reconciled. We'll talk about that later." I hugged him closer to me.

Seth came walking up from Jake's cottage. "Seth! What are you doing here!" I let Jake go, running to Seth. He must have grown two feet since the last time I saw him, and he's gotten really cute. He no longer looked like that scrawny little boy. He's grown into a beautiful man. He swooped me up in a huge bear hug and hugged me close.

"Nessie, its so great to see you again. You've gotten to be so beautiful. Happy Birthday." He leaned down into my ear. "I told him he was acting like an ass. Give him a hard time for me. OK?"

I giggled. "Alright. I'll do that. Come here and meet my friends from school."

I brought him over to Legend. "Brody must've gone in. Seth, this is Legend. Legend, this is..." Before I could finish the introduction, Legend stepped in front of me, extending her hand to Seth. They were looking at each other like the sun just shone in each other's eyes, and they wanted to see every second of it. I looked at Jake, shrugging my shoulders at them, shaking my head. Jake looked at them for a moment longer. They intertwined their fingers, and began smiling at each other. It was weird to see two people who just met act like that.

Suddenly, Jake burst out laughing. He was curled over, trying to catch his breath, and I never saw what was so funny. Seth and Legend both looked over at Jake like he was crazy. He tried to pull himself together before he spoke. "They...he...Seth..." He couldn't get it out for laughing. "Seth just imprinted on her." He returned to his laughing. My mouth fell open.

"What? What is that?" Legend asked.

"Legend, can we go for a walk and talk?" Seth asked.

"Wait, Seth, I have something to tell you." I went over to them. "You can speak freely with her. She knows everything. She'll understand." I smiled at the both of them, then returned to Jake's arms.

Brody finally came back out. "Brody, this is Jacob Black. Jake, this is Brody Shay, Legend's brother."

"Nice to finally meet you, Jacob." Brody smiled, but his smile never reached his eyes. "Happy Birthday, Nessie. Here's your gift from Legend and me." Jake smiled at Brody, looking to see what the gift was, holding me close beside him.

When I opened the gift, it was the most beautiful necklace and pendant. The pendant had a garnet red stone in the center, with white gold detail surrounding the stone. In the center of the stone was a small diamond that caught the rays of the sun perfectly. I looked up at Brody and hugged his neck. "Thanks Brody. This is perfect. Sorry, I can't put it on tonight. Aunt Ali bought this one for my outfit, but I promise I _will_ wear it."

Mom came out to check on us, and admired the necklace. "Oh, Nessie, this is beautiful. Is it antique?" I looked at Brody.

"No ma'am. I bought it today."

"Well, it's just beautiful. Renesmee...do you want me to go put it up in your room upstairs?"

"Yes, please. Thank you." Mom walked off then looked back at me, lifting her eyebrow. "Renesmee...can I speak to you for a moment inside?" Jake leaned down and kissed me on my forehead. I giggled then walked off."

Mom led me into my room upstairs and closed the door. Aunt Ali, Aunt Rosie and Grandma came in too. Mom started. "Renesmee. We don't want to make you nervous, but we want you to be aware of the situation that's still going on with Brody. We know that you never gave him any reason to pursue you, but he has. He is."

"Yes, Nessie..." Aunt Ali started. "When you pulled up with Jacob, Brody noticed right off that he was Jacob. He never asked, but the way you were acting told it all. I made sure that I stayed around him to monitor his attitude just in case he decided to start a commotion. He maintained his cool, but the look in his eyes went from hurt to pain to anger to I don't know what."

"Nessie...listen...this situation is very delicate. Their parents are our friends, but our family comes first. I know that you've made your intentions known to him, but you'll have to separate yourself from him if you don't want him and Jacob to clash. You'll also need to let Jacob know what's happened these past couple of weeks. Don't let him be left in the dark and have to come out fighting. It may destroy the two of you." Grandma said.

"Yes, Nessie, I agree with Esme. If his father comes out in him, we may have a nasty fight on our hands, so treat this delicately," Mom added.

Listening to them made me feel sick to my stomach. All I ever wanted was Jake. Ever. Yet, everything they're saying is true. Brody has been acting very erratic even without Jake here. Then, he probably thought he may still have had a chance. Now, I don't know how he'll act.

"Mom, do you think Jake should come to school with me?"

"Baby, I don't know. We'll have to speak to your father and grandfather later tonight or tomorrow. Don't worry, everything'll be fine, just do as we ask. Oh, and if you can, tone down the smooching in front of Brody until he can get used to the idea. We don't know if he's dangerous, so let's just tread softly."

They all hugged me individually then walked out. Aunt Rosie was last. "Nessie, don't worry. I'll kick his ass for you if he tries anything." She smiled and exited the room.

When I made it back downstairs, Brody and Jake were still on the porch. Jake had the most horrible frown on his face, and Brody was smiling. It looked way too strange. "Hey guys, what's up?"

"Nothing." Jake said. He kissed my forehead, then walked past me into the house. He looked so sad. 

I turned my eyes to Brody.

"What did you say to him?" I tried to remain calm, stepping close to him, my fists balled up. I looked around Brody into the window. Jake was talking to Mom and Aunt Ali. They were obviously trying to calm him down, but he pulled his arm from them and walked out the back door. They all looked at me. "Answer me, you bastard! What did you say to him?"

He put his hands up to me, palms out. "Woah, calm down, Nessie. We were just talking. I told him that you missed him a lot."

"And..."

"And, I said that I really like you, and he better treat you right or I would. He asked me if we dated. I told him no, but not because I didn't try. I told him that you wanted him, not me. I told him that he's a lucky man to have such a wonderful girl to love him."

"Is that it? You didn't tell him that you kissed me, did you?" He paused, but shook his head no. "Brody, first, I've told you over and over that I love Jacob. I always will, whether he treats me right or not. I don't need you coming between us! Stay away from him if you can't behave yourself." I walked off. I felt a hand on my arm, stopping me. I turned around quickly, ready to fight.

"Nessie, wait, wait, wait. I just wanted to apologize. I really want you to be happy. Even if its not with me." He removed his hands from me. Mom, Dad, Aunt Rosie and Uncle J was next to me the same instant.

"Is there a problem here?" Uncle J asked.

"None. He was just apologizing, and I was leaving." I looked at Brody. "Remember what I said." I looked down at my watch. I still had about thirty minutes before everyone started showing up. I turned to Mom. "Where is Jake?"

"At his cottage. I'm sorry baby. I couldn't get him to stay." I ran as fast as I could to Jake. At the door, I composed myself and knocked.

"Nessie, come in. You don't have to knock."

"Jake, baby, I'm sorry for leaving you there with him. I should've known he'd say something stupid. He always does."

"It's not that Nessie. I realized talking to him that I left you here, alone, to possibly meet someone, and fall in love. When he expressed his feelings for you, I hated myself. I knew then that I could've lost you. Forever. I'm so sorry for doing that to you," he put his head down. "I'm so sorry. I'm so horrible." He whispered.

I walked over to him, pulling his head up to me by his chin. "Jake, look at me. All of that is forgotten. All I remember now is that you're here, you love me, and we have a future together. Besides, I never gave him the first idea that I could ever, ever want to date him let alone fall in love. I lied to everyone telling them that I was still with you, and you were being home schooled."

"You did? But why?"

"Jake...in my heart, you were mine. No one could ever take your place. So, whether you came back to me or not, I still loved you, and I always would."

He leaned into me, pulling my face close to his. He rubbed his nose to mine, smiling. "Renesmee Cullen...I am _such_ a lucky man. I now have everything I ever wanted." He leaned in further to my lips. I immediately opened for him, tugging the back of his hair, pulling him closer. The kiss was full of passion, deepening every single moment. I pulled his body closer to me, untangling one hand from his hair, and rubbing it down his back, stopping at his waist. Jake stood and picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, kissing me with a fierceness that didn't exist earlier today. Finally, we both needed air. He trailed my jawline, planting kisses all the way to my neck. "Ness...I love you. Always," he said breathless.

"And I you...my love." I giggled when he got to my neck. I was ticklish there, but it also light a fire in my panties that was completely new for me.

"Jake..." He silenced me with another kiss, then quickly broke it.

"Ness...let's talk after the party, alright. If you still want me to come I..."

I looked at him, then popped him on the arm. "Everyone else can leave as far as I'm concerned, but you're coming." I grabbed him by the hand, and led him back to the house. I began to hear cars approaching , so we all stood inside the great room, awaiting my company. Legend, Brody and I stood at the door to welcome everyone. Jake went into the dining room with Daddy and Seth.

**Thanks for reading. I hope everyone's glad that Jake's back, and they've gotten their misunderstanding figured out.**

**I have some of the next chapter written, and I'll post a teaser if I can get five reviews, so give me what I like.**

**Reviewing is better than seeing Jake and running up to him to straddle his...(clearing my throat)...you agree right? LOL!**


	11. Questions

**Chapter 11: Questions**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. I also don't own any of the poetry in Nessie's Journal that's mentioned in the chapter. Most of it is from anonymous writers. **

**At some point in the near future, I would like to take credit for my characters that will cause havoc in the life of our beloved Cullens but for now, SM, it's all yours.**

**To my readers and reviewers, I love you. You make my heart skip a beat every time I read one of your reviews. You make me want to continue. So, smooches to you all. Also, I know that it's been a while since I've updated this story but I promise to do better. I started another that kept my attention and I'm sorry for that but I do appreciate you four for five girls that kept reminding me that this story needs to be told.**

**Unfortunately, this chapter was not Beta'd either so I take full responsibility for any and all mistakes. If there are any holes as far as information or suggestions, feel free to PM me. Be nice, alright?**

**To my girls on Twitter NicciB23 and robinsff, you guys make me laugh and always keep me wanting to continue this story. I guess this is the one Jake that you don't want to castrate. Lol! Love u BBs! **

**Anywho, read!**

**((((( Legend's POV)))))**

I looked over to the right and saw a tall, tanned, muscular built boy approaching us. As soon as I placed my eyes on him, my heart leaped and I was unable to take my eyes off of him. He was by far the most beautiful being that I'd ever placed my eyes on.

Usually, when I meet boys, I couldn't be more uninterested. Not that I don't like boys but most of them are so into themselves that they barely notice me in their presence. Plus, having Brody as a brother makes me really not trust boys. If any of them are even half as bad as him then I don't ever see myself dating.

But this boy approaching me seemed different. Other than his large build, he walked with a confidence that I've never seen before in someone so young. He was very similar in build and likeness to Jake. Maybe they're brothers or something.

_Oh, please notice me. Please look at me._

After Nessie ran to him, she brought him back to us. I got so excited that I felt my heartbeat accelerate and my hands became clammy, plus, my breathing became quick but shallow. Man, what in the world is wrong with me. I don't even know him and I'm acting all weird about him already.

_Oh, please don't let him be like my brother or any of his friends._

"Seth, this is Legend. Legend, this is..." Nessie began introducing us. Before she could finish, I stepped in front of her and extended my hand to Seth, smiling.

"Hello, Seth. Nice to meet you." I said. Immediately, it felt like something wrapped around me and drew me closer to him. My heartbeat began again to race faster than before and my breathing became shallow. I may have even stopped breathing for a while.

We stood there, looking into each other's eyes. For that while, no one else existed in the world. It was just me and him. Time may have stopped and seasons may have changed but for that moment, we existed alone in that space.

Seth took a step toward me then reached over to my hand all while never leaving the comfort of my eyes. He intertwined his fingers with mine. The warmth of his touch and the sweetness of his smell made me weak in my knees.

I've never been in love before but if this is love, I want more of it… much more.

Seth picked up his other hand and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. As I felt his touch, I leaned my head toward his hand… encouraging his touch.

Out of no where, Jake burst out laughing. He was hunched over, laughing so hard that he had to catch his breath before starting again. Seth and I both looked at Jake and wondered what his problem was.

I guess after he got all the laughing out that he could, he said, "They… he… Seth… " He couldn't get it out for laughing. "Seth just imprinted on her." I looked back at Seth. I was confused. I had no idea what exactly Jake was saying. When I looked at Seth, smiled at me.

"What?" I asked. "What is imprinted?" Seth paused for a moment like he was trying to figure out how to tell me something. Finally he spoke.

"Legend, can we go for a walk and talk?" Seth asked. I smiled at him and nodded. Honestly, I didn't care what he wanted to say to me. As long as I got to spend a little time with him, nothing else mattered.

When we walked off, Nessie ran up to Seth. "Wait, Seth, I have something to tell you." She looked at me smiling. She was way too giddy. Not the Nessie that I've gotten to know over the past couple of weeks. She looked at Seth. "You can speak freely with her. She knows everything. She'll understand." She smiled at us both then left.

"Seth, what are they talking about?"

"Can we go sit by the lake right over here?" He asked then twisted his fingers in mine.

When we got there, I almost forgot about the talk. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him close to me. When he sat down, he patted the seat next to him. I sat really close. Just his presence made me feel secure, protected. Plus there seemed to be currents flowing between us that only pulled us closer. I placed my head on his shoulder. I knew this is out of the norm and probably really weird for him but I just couldn't help myself. I was so drawn to him that it was hard to stop what I knew was wrong to be doing.

Seth placed his arms around me, kissed my forehead, and pulled me even closer. For a long while, we never spoke. We just sat there looking at the beautiful lake.

"This view is absolutely beautiful. I've never come back here to actually see it this close," I said.

"It's alright… especially with you sitting next to it. It hardly compares." He rubbed my arms, kissed my forehead again then deeply inhaled. I turned to look at him. The shine in his eyes when he looked at me reminded me of the sun at noon. They were shining, beautiful, warm, and made you not want to leave its presence.

Soon after, he focused on something far away then looked back at me as he scooted even closer. Then, he must have changed his mind and sat on a stump in front of me. My mouth immediately pouted. I wanted him close… much closer. Plus, I couldn't touch him over there. I took a deep, frustrated breath then let it out.

"Legend. We need to talk before we go any farther."

"Farther?"

"Well… yes, Legend… how much do you know about Nessie and her family? You heard Nessie. Be honest with me."

I looked him over, trying to see exactly what he wanted me to say. He definitely wasn't a vampire like the Cullens, so how would he know about the supernatural world?

"Legend?" He said gently.

Just the mention of my name on his lips made my heart leap. He somehow noticed. What he did next surprised me. He leaned forward and placed his hand on my heart. What in the world was I suppose to do when a boy did that to me? I just sat there… probably looking really stupid.

"Um…"

My mind was racing but when I looked in his eyes, I had my resolve. I trusted him. I knew somehow that what ever I told him would be safe. Yeah, I could trust him.

"My family has known the Cullens for many, many years. My father and mother are together today because of Carlisle and Edward."

"Alright. Specifically, do you know what the Cullens are?"

I paused but continued. "Yes. Yes, I do."

"If you don't mind, can I hear you say it? Would you tell me specifically what they are? I wouldn't normally ask you to do that but it's really important."

"They're… vampires." I took a deep breath and hoped I hadn't just messed things up for my friends.

He smiled. "Breath, Legend. It's alright. I just needed to know just how much you knew before I continued." I smiled at him… glad that I had trusted him with our secrets. "Legend, have you ever heard of werewolves? Or Shape shifters?"

I gasped. I know my eyes were large, and my mouth probably wide open.

_Legend, calm down. You know about the supernatural world. Calm down. _I told myself.

"Yes. I've heard of both."

"Well…" He took in a ragged, deep breath. "Well… that's me… and Jacob. We come from a long line of Shape shifters that originated in Forks, Washington. We were originally created to protect humans from Vampires. They actually are our natural enemy but as you see, things have changed. Actually, Jake and Nessie changed everything.

"Anyway, in addition to being a Shapeshifter, we also have a way of mating. Maybe mating is a really bad word. Let me explain. Have you ever been in love, Legend?"

"Um, no. I've never even dated." I was embarrassed to be even tell him that. Most men didn't want an inexperienced girl.

His eyes pulled together when he looked down at me. "Really, Legend?"

"Yes, really." I admitted, hanging my head. He immediately picked my face up to him.

"Legend, never be ashamed of that. I'm glad. You saved yourself for me. If it makes you feel any better, I've never dated, never fallen in love, never liked a girl." My eyes got big. It was hard to believe that a boy as beautiful as him could have stayed single anytime. "Alright, I need to get this out. You need to understand what's going on here between us.

"Legend, we call it 'imprinting' which basically means that we've found our soul mate. Even from birth, the pair are made for each other. Every aspect of our lives are created to be in sync. The love that's shared is pure and totally fulfilling to both parties. It's like you're no longer held to the earth by gravity but each other. The whole world revolves around you both without being affected. Legend, it's more than just being in love. It's a oneness. A wholeness that the two share. They are no longer two… but one. Sharing everything… desiring happiness that only the other can bring – protecting that love with their life. Am I making sense?"

"Well… I think so. So… did you imprint on me or did I imprint on you?"

He looked at me weird. "I imprinted on you, of course. The tradition came from my ancestors. From many generations deep."

"Huh, well… I don't know about that. I've never heard of the word "imprinting," but I know very well about the process that you just spoke of." He looked at me confused about where I was going with this. "Seth, I have something to tell you." I took a deep breath. "Well… let me see just how to start. As you know, for me to know anything about the Cullens then I have to be a part of this supernatural world too, right?" His breathing hitched. He opened his mouth to ask me a question but I stopped him. "No, I'm not a vampire." I told him. "Breathe…" I giggled. "Well… um… I… I mean my… um…"

"Legend, baby, calm down. You can tell me anything." He took my hands in both of his. My mind went blank after he called me "baby." I just sat there and looked at his hands and mine. "Legend?"

"Oh, sorry. Well, my mother is a Nymph. Do you know what that is?"

He looked at me almost amazed. "Um… yes…"

"Good. I have her gifts. I tend to nature. I can bring any plant or animal back to life, and I can help humans release anger and fear just from my touch. Wait… I'm rambling. Back to my parents. My dad is a… Warlock. They were… _are_ very different. Their differences should never have allowed them to meet but when my dad saw her the first time, his story reminded me of your imprinting. He lost sight of her shortly and never saw her again for months. He says there was a draw to her that he couldn't fight. When she met him, she felt the same way. Their whole worlds changed that day. So… that's why I asked if I imprinted on you. I thought that maybe I did like my father did to my mother.

"When you walked up to the house, before Nessie hugged you, I felt the draw to you. I was really hoping that you didn't get all creeped out by me and run off."

"Legend. A thousand bulls couldn't keep me away from you now. I am here until you send me away… and even after." He leaned in and kissed my hands.

"Seth, are you from here? I don't know how I've missed you all these years."

"No. I live on the reservation in Forks. Well, I did until just now." He smiled.

"So, you're moving here? Because of me?"

"Legend, I'm already here. The Cullens are family… just like my own. And, yes, because of you. For you. I _need_ to be around you. Just the thought of leaving here hurts my heart. I hope it's alright."

"Alright? Seth, I feel the same way. I feel like I need you now… your touch, your smile, your presence near me. I hope I don't get too gooey and touchy for you. If I do, you'll have to tell me. Promise you'll tell me."

"Baby, calm down. How can you give me too much of what I want… what I need from you. Everything'll be just fine." He leaned in again to kiss my hands.

All I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss his lips – feel his warm breath in my mouth, smell his sweet scent close to me. I suddenly could feel a blush rising in my face. I looked away from Seth but he turned my face back to him.

"What's wrong, baby?"

My heart skipped a beat again just hearing him call me that. He leaned in again and placed his hand on my heart then smiled widely.

"Seth, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Will you kiss me? I mean… if you think it's not too early. I mean..." Before I could clean up what I had just said, he quickly pressed his lips to mine. I'm sure he felt the hesitation but I was sweetly surprised. He pulled back.

"Legend, I'm sorry. You didn't want me to do that? I thought..."

"Shhh. I got up and sat on his lap. I looked into his eyes and placed my hands on his face and replaced my lips on his. I have to say that it was hard to stop my racing desire to stick my tongue down his throat under control. He moved me even closer to him and cupped my face in his hands as I hugged his neck. He opened his mouth and sucked in my bottom lip then licked my top. I don't know anything about the language of kissing, but I think he wanted to put his tongue in my mouth. I hesitantly opened my mouth. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. He entered my mouth and pulled my face closer. Our tongues seemed to do a wonderful waltz that sent all kinds of warm, tingly feelings through my body. He kissed my deeply, longingly, but gently. Every touch from his hands sent an indefinite peace through me that I've never gotten from anyone or anything. It warmed my heart dearly. He pulled away from me and looked into my eyes.

"Seth, I love you. I've never been in love, but I don't have any other word to put to what I feel."

He chuckled and rubbed his nose to mine. "I love you too, Legend."

"You do?"

"Of course I do. These feeling that we share are real. They will only intensify as time passes but won't ever change."

We shared another sweet kiss before my mind went into overdrive.

"Wait, Seth, how do you know so much about this? Have you done this before?" 

He laughed a little. "No. Of course not. Remember, soul mates? Jacob imprinted on Nessie the day she was born and most of our pack has imprinted. So… I have direct access to all of their fluff."

"When you said most of your pack, what did you mean?"

"Well, just me and my sister, Leah, hasn't imprinted. Well, now, just Leah." He looked off in the distance. "She is going to be so pissed."

I just looked at him. I guess he'll tell me that story later. "Okay, did I understand you when you said Jacob imprinted on Nessie when she was born?"

"Yes, the moment he saw her, she had him wrapped around her tiny little fingers." 

"So, Jacob has waited for seventeen years to be with Nessie?"

He laughed. "No. Nessie is only six years old."

My mouth went in a permanent 'O.' "Remember, she's a vampire/human. Her growth rate was accelerated because of the vampire in her. Actually when each one of us got the wolf, our growth rate did the same thing, except most of us were already teenagers when we got ours."

"Wow, Seth, I have so much to learn about you but I look forward to every single minute."

Seth looked down at his watch and grabbed my hand. "Come on, it's time for the party."

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

Everyone began showing up for the party just in time and was really sweet. Some even brought presents. Everything was perfect. I had all of my new friends around me, my family, and my Jake.

For some reason, I couldn't take the ridiculously crazy smile off my face all night. Everyone noticed and was curious about what the huge change us with me. I introduced everyone to my Jake as my boyfriend.

The whole night, I held on to his hand or around his waist. I knew that he was trying not to get too involved with my friends but I wasn't letting him get any farther than arms length. I noticed how the girls eyed him all night – shameless hussies. They know he's mine and still they flirt.

Well, I really couldn't blame them. He is absolutely gorgeous and he's all mine. Hopefully, later tonight I can show him that.

_Ah… the things I want to do to that man. _

I looked up at him standing behind me, holding me around my waist… damn! But I know he's not having it.

_Every sensitive point in my body is in hypersensitive overload… shit! Oooohh, I need to stop. I know by now, Daddy's heard everything I just said. Damn! _

I sighed as I tried to pull my thoughts back together. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

I grabbed Jake by the hand and went outside in the backyard. There were kids out there but I went on the side and pressed him against the side of the house. I reached up, cupped his face in my hands, pulled him down, and kissed the hell out of him. It felt so right to be there with him like that. I passed my right hand down his cheek, his neck, his six pack, then his hips. When I found the bottom of his shirt, I pushed his shirt up and smoothed my hands across his stomach. His body felt so soft but hard in all the right places. His warm breath against my neck and the fragrance of his nature was making me want to do all sorts of nasty things to him. I pressed closer.

"Jake..."

"Uh, huh."

"Will you make love to me tonight?" Jake froze in his efforts. He released his grip around me and looked at me, longingly.

"Nessie..." He whispered so sweetly. "Baby, I couldn't do that to you. We just started dating and we're not married, but most of all, your father will literally kill me."

"Jake, all of that is just a formality. We're meant to be together. What do we need to date for? Oh, Jakie, please? It would make this birthday the best birthday ever. Then I'll have everything I've ever wanted."

"Nessie, can we talk about this after the party when we're completely alone?

I crossed my arms in front of me. "Fine, Jake. Whatever." I stormed off but he came quickly behind me and stopped me before I made the turn and wrapped his arms around me from the back. "Ness, please, don't be mad. I want you too, but not like this. I want to be married to you first. I _want_ to do things right. Don't you understand that?"

I turned to look in his eyes. They were flooded with sincerity. My heartbeat accelerated and my breaths became ragged. "Jake… you want to marry me? I..." He put his finger on my lip.

"Ness… of course I do. I would marry you today if you'd accept and if your father would let me. You're my whole life. I've waited patiently for years for just that."

"But..." I put my head down shyly. "But Jake, I love you. You do know that I'd happily accept, _today_." He hugged me closely. "Why can't we? That is if you're asking me."

"Ness, why do we have to rush into things? Plus, it would only infuriate your father. Let's slow down. I've waited all these years; I can wait a little longer."

"But how much longer?"

"I would think at least until your eighteenth birthday. Then you would have the support of your family, and I wouldn't get killed."

"Ah, Jake… I can't wait that long. How can you deny me what I want that long? Jake..."

He chuckled under his breath and smiled. "It'll probably be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but I'm definitely up for the challenge. Besides, you love me, I know you don't want to make things too hard for your future husband. Come here."

He took me into his arms and kissed me, but this time, the kiss was different. It was slow and sweet and deepened every moment we were connected. When he licked my bottom lip and sucked it in, I almost came a loose. And the way he held me close and held me in the crook of my back wasn't like before. He needed me and I needed him. This was our agreement. Our agreement to love each other forever. To be everything each other needed no matter what… to look toward to a future that was destined to be. Our tongues danced melodically to the music of our own beat. Our bodies mangled together as out touches remained sweet. My mind for a moment was clear. I could envision his dream for our life. I could see our future, our wedding day, our children. I felt my heart open a little more for him as I allowed myself open to his every will. At that moment there was nothing I wouldn't do for him.

Dad walked around the corner with Mom. "Just what do you two think you're doing?"

Jake and I jumped away from each other quickly. "Um…"

"That's enough, Renesmee. You would do well to control your thoughts when you know I'm so near. You two need to take a step back and remember that you're still too young to do any of the things that you're thinking."

Dad stood there stiff as a board as he spoke very sternly to us. Mom held his hand with one hand and his forearm with the other.

"Now, Renesmee, you have more than a hundred people in our home that are asking where you are. Go inside, enjoy the rest of your party." Dad looked at Jacob. "Jacob, stay here. I want to talk to you."

"No. I will _not_ let you bully him. He did nothing wrong. I won't leave him here."

"Nessie, it's alright. He has a right to talk to me about his expectations of me."

"No!" I grabbed his hand. "Not tonight. It's my night and I don't want the two of you spoiling it for me. Come on Jake."

"Renesmee, you're being very bullheaded and disrespectful, and I don't take kindly to your attitude," Dad practically growled out.

"Look. If you feel like I'm being disrespectful then for that I apologize, but Daddy, what did you expect to happen when Jake finally came back? I can't and won't go back to where we were. I love him too much. Plus, you know all too well about teenage love." I held Jacob's hand firmly. There was no way I was letting him go.

"Renesmee… watch your mouth! I'm still your father. I'll separate you and Jacob so fast that your head will spin. Don't. Push. Me."

"Edward… stop. You'll just push her away… please." Mom whispered to him as she rubbed his arm.

I sighed. "Whatever, Daddy. If he leaves, I leave. Where he goes, I go. You can't do that to us anymore. And, if you want me to leave for not keeping to your ridiculous rules then I will." I stood there with my chest out and my head up as I waited for but dreaded his response."

Jacob spoke up. "Alright, alright. That's enough. Both of you need to calm the hell down. Nobody's going anywhere and everybody's finish with this conversation until later. Bells, take him somewhere until they both cool down. Let's go back to the party. It'll be over in a couple of hours."

Jake tugged my hand and pulled me around the house and back inside. He stopped when we were out of sight. "Ness, you have to stop that. Your dad only wants the best for you. You won't get anywhere threatening him or destroying your relationship with him because of me. In fact, I won't allow it. I love your parents too. I look at them like my own… especially your father. I _want_ a relationship with them. So, please… for me? Calm down. Try to see things his way."

I shrugged out of his hold. "You're no better than him. _Everyone_ thinks they know what's best for me, but _no one_ wants to hear how I feel or what I want. Fine, Jacob. Have it your way. This..." I waved between us. "...won't ever work, neither will I pursue it if you don't accept my needs in this relationship or at least try to. I'm not asking you to just give in and screw my brains out but I do want you to try to understand me and why I want to. Besides… if you love my dad so much, maybe it's him you need to pursue a relationship with… not me."

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen! Don't you speak to Jacob like that!" Mom turned the corner alone. "I kept my mouth shut because I understand teenage love and your need for each other but I don't understand your issue with Jake now. Renesmee, don't alienate everyone that loves you just because they don't agree with you. That behavior is why your father is asking you to slow down. You need to grow up a bit more to understand how to deal with relationships and love and conflict and peoples differences. What would you do if you got married tomorrow and you and Jake had a disagreement? I hope you don't think the way you responded tonight was right because it definitely wasn't. Especially how I just heard you speak to Jake."

I've never heard Mom speak to me with that tone. It made me feel really bad about how I'd just treated Jake. Dad, he deserved it but it was still wrong.

I put my head down and placed my hands over my face. I tried to hold back my tears but I was unsuccessful. I began sobbing into my hands. Immediately, Jake came over and wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. "Ness..."

"No..." I pulled back from him. "Jake, don't apologize to me. I'm the one sorry. I'm just acting like a complete brat. I love you. I didn't mean what I said. Please forgive me."

"Of course I do. And Ness, I'll try to do better, too. I have to remember that you are not a little girl anymore and you have needs and desires and new expectations from me. I love you and I'm sorry for messing up your birthday."

"You're wrong. You've made if absolutely perfect. It's me that messed it up. Love you."

"Alright, Renesmee. Finish this later. Go in with your guests." Mom commanded.

We went in, and Mom went to find my daddy. I know that later I'll have to apologize for the way I spoke to him but for now I'll enjoy the rest of my party.

When we made it back in, everyone was having a really great time… except Brody. He was hanging out in the far corner of the room and every time a girl went to talk to him or ask for a dance, he dismissed them all like they were flies or some shit. I don't get him. Legend told me about him and how he was with girls and to now see him treat them all like that really made me feel sad for him. I knew it was about me. But what could I do? I did everything I could to push him away.

Jake noticed me looking at him but never said a word about it. He probably knew anyway.

Later, I was dancing with some of the girls from school and Jake was hanging out in the kitchen with Emmett. He came to find me and asked if it would be alright to speak to my daddy before I did. I thought it was fine since I knew I had to face him, probably alone, after the party.

When Jake left, Aunt Ali and Aunt Rosie came on the dance floor and danced and had a great time with me.

Even though I was having a great time, my eyes still fell on Brody every now and then. He never moved from that spot until Jake left. When I looked for him, he was nowhere in sight. Suddenly, the music changed and played a beautiful slow song by Ray Lamontagne, "Let It Be Me." I hadn't heard slow music all night. It made me miss Jake.

_Damnit! I wish I hadn't told him to go. Now, I'm standing in the middle of the floor by my damn self, looking stupid. _

"Can I have this dance?" Brody whispered from behind.

I turned around and met his gaze. It was something definitely very different about him. It was the look in his eyes. It actually made me feel really warm.

"Alright." I agreed but surprised at myself for allowing this.

He smiled widely at me and gently took me around my waist. I placed my arms around his neck. I knew he was much closer than he needed to be but I didn't protest. We swayed back and forth around the floor. The song was so incredibly beautiful. It made you _want_ to be close. It seemed like time literally stood still. Like all of the bullshit that Brody took me through didn't even matter anymore. For a moment, I felt like I wasn't in control of my own body – like somehow I was joined to him… like he was me and I was him.

"Nessie, do you like this song?"

"Uh, hum."

"Nessie, it's me. Everything I want to say to you but can't. I want you to choose me, Nessie. I love you."

"Brody… I…" I couldn't even get it out. The way he looked at me made me want to love him back for some reason. I wanted him to be happy. I just stood there holding his gaze, feeling myself get lost in his eyes.

"Nessie, I need to kiss you. Can I? I mean… do you want me to?" I stopped swaying with him but held his gaze. Everything in me told me not to do it but I really wanted to. I wanted him to kiss me. Not like before… with passion and with my permission. I nodded my head. He pulled me a tad bit closer with one hand on my waist and placed his other hand on my face. He leaned in as I closed my eyes and awaited his lips. I desired his tongue against mine. His warm breath sprayed across my face causing goosebumps to flow up my arm. My heart raced and I grabbed the back of his hair with great anticipation – wanting his lips.

_Damn, he smells so good and the way he's touching me has me on fire for him. What the hell?_

As I felt his lips graze across mine, I smelled Jake.

"Nessie?" Jacob whispered. No one could hear him but I heard him perfectly. I quickly jumped out of Brody's arms just as he placed his lips on mine. Brody was stunned by my sudden change in mood and appeared very annoyed. He looked over at Jacob who was walking out the back door.

I turned around to run after Jacob but Brody caught my arm before I could go far. "Nessie, let him go. I can give you everything he can… even more. Let me love you." When he looked in my eyes, that same feeling came over me. I stopped resisting him and just stared into his beautiful eyes. Time and space ceased to exist and I wanted to be there… with him… letting him love me. He leaned down again for the kiss I had promised him just minutes before and pulled me close again.

Then, out of nowhere, I felt Mom's shield snap around me. It pulled me from the stupid "Brody trance" that I was in. Again, when his lips met mine, I pulled back. I was unclear as to why the hell I'd just agreed to allow him to do that to me.

_What the hell is wrong with me? How could I do that to Jake? _

I turned to run after Jake again and Brody stopped me again. He looked deeply into my eyes. "Nessie..."

This time it didn't work. I yanked my arm from his and bolted out the door after Jake.

"Jake, wait! Wait!" I caught up to him and grabbed his arm to stop him. He was trembling uncontrollably and he had the look of a killer in his eyes. I let him go and stepped back. "Jake, please, don't leave. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. One moment I heard this beautiful song that I wanted to dance to with you, then..."

"Stop, Nessie, stop, please. All you had to do was be honest with me. I knew from the conversation that I had with him earlier today that he cared for you deeply, but you assured me that you didn't feel the same way about him. But, that _definitely_ was _not_ what I just saw in there. You wanted _him_ to kiss you. You knew that wasn't me. You still wanted him to kiss you."

Jake put his head down as he willed himself to calm down before he phased.

"Nessie, I know I shouldn't have left and I know that all of this happened because I did but I just don't know if I can sit by and watch something like that again. In fact, I know I can't." He placed his partially steady hand to my cheek. "Nessie, do you love him? He honest with me." I took a deep breath and searched deep within me for the honest answer that Jake deserved. I felt nothing. I had no desire to kiss him, I couldn't see myself with him, I didn't want him touching me, and remembering his smell made me cringe.

"No, Jake. Nothing even near that. Like I said, I don't know what came over me. I felt like it was just us in the room… like I wasn't thinking for myself or something."

"Nessie, stop. That's exactly how I feel when I'm near you. Especially when we're about to kiss. You may need to search deeper for your answer. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, I already have it." A tear fell from his eyes. "I'll be at my cottage. Good night, Nessie, and happy birthday." Before he walked off, his tears were completely flowing. His hands were steady but his heart was broken.

"Fuck! What the hell is wrong with me tonight?" I turned and walked in the other direction toward the woods. When I got under the covering of the trees, I slumped down under one of the trees and threw my head into my hands. I deserved everything I got tonight. I guess my daddy was right. I needed to grow the fuck up. Shit! "Jacob, please don't leave me," I whispered into my hands.

My heart was breaking again as I felt the same loss I'd felt for weeks. Somehow I just knew that he'd leave me again – this time maybe never coming back. I stood to my feet. "I won't allow it. I'll beg him if I have to."

As I raced toward the clearing behind the house, I heard movement behind me. "Jake?"

"No, it's me." Brody's voice broke through the darkness. "I was worried about you when I saw Jacob walk past the house. Are you alright?" I pushed him to the ground.

"You dickhead piece of shit! You know who my heart belongs to! You've always known but you still insist on this ridiculous pursuit that'll only get everyone involved hurt. You say you love me but you won't give me what I'm asking of you… to leave me the hell alone! It's obvious that you and I will _never_ be friends so let's come to that conclusion right here, right now!"

He took a step toward me and looked into my eyes. He seemed to be searching for something that obviously wasn't there. "What! What the fuck are you looking at?"

"Nothing."

"Brody, go home. If Legend isn't ready then I'll take her, but I want _you_ off my property _right now_." I turned away from him. He walked around me to face me once again. I crossed my arms in front of me. "I'll never forgive you for this, Brody. You were supposed to be my friend but all you keep doing is hurting me and making me hurt you. Goodbye."

Again, behind me I heard more leaves rustling. I turned to see if it was Jake but it was Legend and Seth. "Nessie, are you alright?" Seth asked. When he stepped a little closer, he saw my face and clearly I was _not_ alright. Seth looked over at Brody. "What the Hell did you do to her? Where's Jake?" I covered my face and burst into tears as I sobbed uncontrollably. Legend ran over to me and hugged me close.

"Brody, what did you do?" She stepped away from me to face her brother. Suddenly, she clinched her stomach then slapped the hell out of Brody in the face. "You Bastard! You stupid, manipulative, egotistical, conniving Bastard! You can't fight for what you want? You just want to take it don't you?" Seth ran over to her and held her securely beside him. He wanted Brody to know that he never had a chance in hell of hitting her back. "Brody, you're the worst kind of man. You're just like Daddy except you'll never find someone to love you like Mom loves him. You deserve to be alone! Stupid!" She walked back over to me and held me close again. When I looked up at her, I noticed that behind her, Mom, Daddy, and Jake was coming toward us.

"Oh, my God, Legend, take Brody and leave. My dad looks pissed." She let me go, pushed Brody forward and began walking in the other direction.

"Damnit, Brody, you're such a fuck up!" Legend scolded him. "Now, I have to leave Seth!"

"Brody, Legend, come back here," Daddy commanded.

"Yes, sir," both Legend and Brody answered.

Jacob stood by my mom at first then when Brody walked back up, Jake came and stood by me which caused Brody to move further down. Seth grabbed Legend's hand and Mom stood close by Daddy.

"Now, Brody, what the hell did you do?" My Dad asked accusing him.

Brody turned his head to the ground and seemed almost afraid to answer. What the hell could he have done other than just like me and try to get me to like him back? What was Legend going on about? I guess I'll find out soon enough.

"Brody, answer me… now. I'm sure your parents will not take it lightly what you've done, but you will expose it, tonight, to my daughter and Jacob."

Brody looked up at me. Pain was clearly in his eyes and water began to gather in the corners. "Nessie, I'm so sorry. When I saw how you were with Jake earlier, I left for a while and one of my father's potions that I'd mixed yesterday to make you fall in love with me."

"And..." Daddy prodded.

"And I took it. It causes who ever I look into the eyes of to only know _me_. To only love _me_. Nessie, I do love you and I got really angry when _he _just showed back up – reclaiming you like nothing ever happened between us." He said a bit too cocky.

"What the hell?" Jake added.

"Brody, nothing ever happened… remember?" I said almost in a whisper. Jake pulled me close.

"Actually, Nessie, yes it did. I fell in love with you. When we kissed last weekend, I knew then that I had to fight for you – that I'm nothing without you."

"Wait, what?" Jake added.

"Jake, I'll explain everything later, alright? Brody, we can't keep going like this, like I said before. I love Jacob. I always have… for as long as I can remember. I can't let you continue like this. It seems like me continuing to be friends with you only adds fuel to the fire."

"She's right, Brody, you'll have to completely avoid her at all costs if you ever want to get past this and really fall in love." Legend said as she looked in Seth's eyes.

"Brody, I'm very disappointed in you. You know about the love and closeness that we share with your parents. You also know I can read your mind, but still, you do this to my daughter and my son." Dad looked over at Jake and smiled. "I won't take this with offense but I will speak to your parents. Also, if you ever plan on coming with them again, I expect you to be on your best behavior. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir."

"Wait, just so I understand, when I agreed to allow him to kiss me and all those feelings I had for him was all his doing, right?"

"Yes, Renesmee. That's why I wrapped you in my shield. I knew something was off but not exactly what. That's why I went to find your father. Did you feel any of that after I wrapped you?"

"No. That's how I was able to leave the house. I thought I was losing my mind or something."

"Nessie, I'm so sorry. I know now that I should've fought for you fairly. I don't want you to love me if you're not willing, anyway. I hope you can forgive me some day."

I looked over at Brody, knowing I had heard all of this a hundred times before – just in the past couple of weeks, but I still told him I forgave him—which I really did. I love Brody and Legend. I do want him as my friend but I won't let him come between Jake and me ever again.

The meeting dissipated. Everyone went back in and Brody went home. Seth promised to take Legend home if she decided she didn't want to stay with us.

When we got back, no one had missed us. They were still having a great time.

When everyone left, the family gathered in the great room trying to assess the damage. Everything was in place pretty much – nothing broken or stolen that we could see. Aunt Ali, Aunt Rosie and Grandma began streaking through the house to pick up trash and to clean. It only took them maybe fifteen minutes to have the house spotless and back to our regular living arrangements.

We all sat down, talking about how great the party was and how people would talk about it for years to come. It was super extravagent – like Alice would do anything less – and everything concerning the party itself was perfect. I thanked Aunt Ali a hundred times then turned to my daddy.

"Daddy, can we talk?"

We walked back to the clearing, where we all were earlier. We walked hand in hand all the way there. "Daddy, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or be disrespectful."

"I know, Baby. You're growing up and need some freedom. I guess my little girl is all gone and is turning into a beautiful, feisty young lady." He sounded really sad. It broke my heart that I was doing this to him but what could I do? I knew that he didn't have a lot of time with me as a child and that's where his apprehension lies. He still looks at me like his little girl. I guess technically I am but not the same way.

"Daddy, I'll always be your little girl. Your only little girl but you can't always treat me like I am. I love you with all my heart and I never want us to have a relationship that keeps us at odds with each other. I need you in my life, always, but I also need you to back off just a little. You know eventually I always listen. It just takes me a minute sometimes. I'm sorry if I disappointed you."

He pulled me close. His cool skin giving me the reassurance that all is forgiven. My mind went back to just three or four years before when he'd sit and hold me just like this while we looked at television or just cuddled for no reason. He saw my memory and laughed.

"Renesmee, you're always welcome to be this close to me – grown, married, with children, two hundred years old. It doesn't matter. And you've never disappointed me. Your adventurous nature, while it angers me to no end, also has me envious. You're everything in the area that I always wanted to be. I always kept it hidden because of the time I grew up in. My parents had money and were a part of the elite crowd. I was raised to be well mannered, respectful, and forcefully responsible. I say forcefully because that's what I had to do to contain some of my desires to step out of the box. Once I got older, it was a part of me.

Now, your mother is a whole 'nother story. She was adventurous, even dangerous. She pushed the limits in areas that I only thought of. Even as a vampire, I still wouldn't do some of the things she did as a human. That's where you really got that from." I was genuinely surprised.

"I always thought of Mom as prim and proper – never doing anything even partially adventurous in her life." Daddy laughed for a long while. He was probably thinking back on some of the things that Mom had done.

"Edward, it's not that funny." She came quickly to the clearing and stopped by Daddy. "If you hadn't been so stubborn I wouldn't have done half of that." Daddy laughed even harder. Mom pounced on him, pinning him to the ground. That was my cue to leave. I definitely didn't want to see them make out like a couple of teenagers. Yuck!

I went back and found Jake playing video games with Uncle Emmett. "Jake, can we talk?"

We walked out toward his cottage. I held his hand and intertwined my fingers with his. The walk was sweet. The forest was really quiet and it was easy to put your thoughts together without distractions.

"Jake, I love you." I looked up at him. He stopped and looked at me. He brushed the back of his finger across my chin and leaned in to kiss me. It wasn't deep or building, just sweet. After all of the drama, I realized that he was right. We needed to slow down… way down. There was still a lot of things that I needed to learn and I don't ever want to hurt my Jake.

When we got to the house, Jake seemed a bit uneasy. He walked around quite a bit, washed dishes, changed his bed… all kinds of silly things that could have waited until the morning. I got up to help him but he refused so I sat and put the television on and watched him move nervously through the house. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I went in the bedroom to talk to him. "Jake, what's up? What's wrong? Do you want me to leave?" I said involuntarily pouting.

"No, Nessie, of course not."

"Well, what is it? I won't try anything with you, I promise. You were right. I need to calm down."

"It's nothing, Nessie." He acted like he wanted to say something but he held his peace which really pissed me the hell off.

"Jacob Black, don't you start this Bullshit! I asked you a question, and I expect an answer right Damn now! And don't you lie to me! I've known you all my life. I know when something's wrong."

Jake looked at me with those beautiful eyes, and put them to the floor. "Ness..." He reached into his nightstand and pulled out the letters Id written to him at night when I was sad. I shrugged. I didn't care that he read them. They were to him anyway. "Ness… you're not mad that I read this?"

"Of course not! They were addressed to you, weren't they? I slept in your room, in your bed with your pillow dressed like you every night. I would crawl out my window at night to come here. I had to be near you in any way I could. I hope _you_ don't mind."

"Ness… your notes broke my heart. I'm so sorry I put you through that. You were in so much pain. It makes me nervous to be near you. I never want to hurt you like that again. I just want to hold you and protect you from any pain but it seems like it's me that's hurting you most of all, and I don't know how to deal with it."

I walked over to him, wrapped my arms around his waist, and placing my head on his chest. "Jakie, I love you. And technically, I hurt myself. I pushed you away by not listening to you when you were clearly trying to tell me something really important. Tonight, when you came back here, I ran into the woods, crying. When I thought about you leaving me again, I was in route back to you to beg you to forgive on my knees if I had to. So, Jake, please, don't pull away from me. You won't hurt me. If anything, I'll hurt you, or myself."

"Ness, what was all of that about in the woods tonight?" I crawled to the middle of the bed, while he sat on the edge and I told him about Brody, Legend and their parents and their relation to my parents. I told him about the kiss on the biking trail and how I reacted. I pretty much caught him up on everything he missed over the past several weeks. He was particularly interested in Brody and myself and the connection that we obviously have, but I assured him that on my end the only connection that I possed was a friendship for Brody and his sister.

We talked well into the night and often laughed and kissed. I never got enough of seeing him smile at me or feeling his warm breath on my neck when he hugged me close. My body still reacted to him like it had earlier but I could control it a little… well maybe. Sometimes I still assaulted his mouth if he rubbed on me too damn much. He'll learn.

**Thanks for reading. Leave me a review. It may encourage my lazy ass to write some more. Oh, I do have half of the next chapter written so reviews may help me finish. Thanks!**

**Oh, wait… for my anonymous reviewers, thank you soooooooo much for taking out the time to read and review. I know the effort it takes to review so… thank you, thank you, thank you. Mwah. **


	12. Woops

**Chapter 12: Woops!**

**((((( Renesmee's POV)))))**

**SM owns all things Twilight. *pouts* I just pitifully remake her characters.**

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I've been pre-occupied. I do have several chapters written but not edited. This chapter is not beta'd so I accept responsibility for any and all mistakes.**

**Summary: Jake and Ness get heated.**

**Oh, thanks to all of my readers that have sent reviews and PMs to me about this story. I've seen every review and I appreciate every single one. You're the reason I'm going forward. Oh, to my anonymous reviewers… you've left such nice words. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave an encouraging word. **** Love you all.**

**Now, read… and don't forget to leave me a few words in a review. Mwah!**

Saturday morning came really quickly. Jake and I fell asleep fully clothed on top of the sheets while he held me. It was the best feeling in the world to wake up knowing he would be there and he loved me. I wasn't ready to get up yet so I snuggled closer to him and threw my knee over his hip. "Uh uh..." Jake said groggily. "Don't do that."

"Why? Did I hurt you? I was just trying to snuggle closer."

He pushed my leg off his hip and sat up, leaving me in an awkward position. When I sat up next to him, I looked down in his lap and saw his "uh um" trying to break through the jeans that was keeping it captive. I gasped… unable to take my eyes off it.

"Ness… you're not helping things. Would you stop that?" He got up and tried to reposition it on the way to the bathroom, but I guess he couldn't because I heard him hiss and use a string of profanities. I giggled but was curious to see it like that. Jake came back out after washing his hands and smiled at me. He looked a little shy – maybe about what I'd seen. "I'm sorry about that," he whispered then blushed.

I giggled again. "I don't know much about that but I'm almost sure that it wasn't your fault." I looked down at it again. It still wasn't down to normal yet. "Jake, did I do that to you when I threw my leg over you?"

He chuckled. "Yes… yes you did. You rubbed over it when you threw your leg." He smiled. "Sorry."

There was a weird awkwardness in the room after that. It was like we both were curious about things but were both scared to talk about it. It was amazing that after all these years of knowing each other and talking about absolutely everything that we'd finally found one subject that neither of us could approach without shyness. That was alright though. I'd know soon enough. I'd ask Aunt Ali and Aunt Rosie.

Later that afternoon after Mom came over and cooked us breakfast, we got dressed. The awkwardness seemed to have returned. I showered first. The look on Jake's face when I opened a drawer and pulled out underwear and clothes out his closet was priceless.

"What? I told you I was living here," I said.

He just looked at me with his eyes big and walked out of the room. I giggled. I knew what his problem was. It was the same problem I was about to have when he showers – imagining him naked in the other room – I giggled again. I'm sure that my imagination wouldn't even come close to the deliciousness of his body so I let it go… for now.

When I finished showering, I realized that I had dropped my thongs on the floor by the dresser so I half wrapped myself in the towel. Only my front was covered. I peeped in the room, saw noone, and ran to pick up my thongs. When I bent over to pick it up, I heard Jake gasp. It startled me and I accidentally dropped the towel.

_Shit! _

I left the towel and ran into the bathroom. I closed the door, tight, and leaned against it as I willed my heartbeat to slow down. I stood there and hoped like hell that I could one day look at Jake again.

_Shit!_

"Ness, you alright?" Jake said close to the door. I could hear his heartbeat racing just like mine was. I was so embarrassed. "Ness… it's alright. You have a beautiful… um… body. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Ness, talk to me. I know I should've knocked first. I'm sorry." I heard him walking out the room. "Shit!" I heard him say under his breath.

Maybe thirty minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom. I was fully dressed, teeth brushed, hair combed, and lotioned down – all without ever leaving the bathroom again.

_Shit! Now I have to face Jake. _

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottled water. He had his back to me. He was watching television. Well, not really. I knew he wasn't really looking at the television because his head wasn't turned the way it should've been for Jake to look interested in what he was looking at. I knew him too well. Plus, his heart rate quickened the moment I opened the bathroom door. I cleared my throat and he turned to me.

"Ness, I'm really sorry. I would never… never do something like that on purpose. I..."

"Jake, look, why don't we just get this over with. If we plan on living here together, at least sometimes, we are bound to see things, so let's just get it over with so we don't ever have to feel like this again." I began taking my clothes off.

"Wait… what are you doing?" He turned his head away from me.

"I'm about to take all of my clothes off and so are you. Next time this happens I won't feel like I wanna jump in a bottomless pit in embarrassment." He laughed but shook his head no. "Oh, yes you are." I finished taking mine off. I locked the front door and closed the curtains just in case Mom decided to come back. Then, I walked in front of the television and put my hands on my hips. "Jake, take your clothes off. You only have to feel weird this one time. Every other time will be no big deal, trust me. This second time standing in front of you is much better than the first… much better."

He eventually agreed after much debate and began disrobing. Shit! I know my eyes almost popped out my head when he took his shirt off. I'm sure that I've seen him without a shirt before but never like this. Maybe it was how he was unbuttoning it or even that he was doing it for me, but all my girly bits got immediately aroused. Damn! I wanted to run to the bathroom real quick and wipe but that would be really embarrassing too.

_I just hope I don't drip. Do ladies drip? Shit! I don't know that either. _

Jake finished with his shirt, his jeans, t-shirt, and left his boxers on. Just that sight was enough to make me salivate – in both places. I internally shook my head at myself.

_All of that will be mine one day. Damn! _

"Come on, Jake, throw your modesty out the door with the trash because I know damn well you don't have anything to be embarrassed about. Take 'em off." He did as I asked, eventually. He turned to the side and pulled them down and showed me his glorious ass. My eyes got large again.

_Shit! He's had that all this time? _

Women are stupid – they've let that pass by them all these years? If I would've seen that passing me everyday, there is no way I would've kept going. He finally turned to me with his "uh um" covered. I just stood there and waited on him to show me but he wouldn't so I walked across the room toward him. He began backing up like he was afraid of me.

"Nessie, stop. I mean it. Stop," he demanded.

"Whatever, Jake, remove your hand then." I kept toward him.

"Alright, alright. Here." He removed his hand and placed his hands on his hips like I had earlier. My breath caught. I may have even gasped or some shit like that. My eyes were fixed on that delicious part.

_Woooowwww! That shit is supposed to fit in a woman? In me? Oh, hell no! _

He was completely hard so it was standing totally at attention before me. It reached well past his bellybutton and the skin appeared to be as smooth as a baby bottom - no wrinkles, no discolorations, perfectly even to his body.

_My girly parts… shit! If I'm old enough to see a "uh um," then I surely can say what it is right? No, sounds too vulgar… shit! I can say it. At least I can in my head. I think? Alright, here I go… no… wait… alright._

I took a deep breath and said "_Dick_!" as loud as I could in my head and kept saying it over and over. "Pussy" was my next break through. I giggled at my thoughts.

I was so caught up on my mental break through and staring at his… dick that I forgot that Jake was waiting on me and my response. When I giggled, he covered up again.

"No, Jake, I'm not laughing at you. I was laughing at this situation. We're standing here butt bone naked and facing each other just to get rid of any quips that my come up later. You have to admit that it's funny."

"Yeah, I guess so. So…. what do we do now?"

"Can I touch you?"

"Nessie… I don't know. It could get real serious way too quick." He walked to the kitchen around the bar. Hasn't he learned yet?

"But Jake, remember, awkwardness, just do it once and if you brush up against me later then it won't be so bad."

I walked over to him. I hoped he didn't start running from me because I was more than ready to pounce on his little fine ass. Sadly, he didn't. I internally pouted. That would've been fun.

I stopped right in front of him and got the nerve from somewhere to take the final steps.

"Jake, we'll just hug, I guess. That should be easy enough." He nodded his head. I took the final steps into his arms and fire overtook my body.

I felt like someone light a match and threw it at my feet. The delicacy of his skin, his musky, woodsy smell that seeped through every pore of his skin, the way his abs felt against my chest and under my hand, his warm breath as his breathing quickened immediately on contact and spilled over onto my shoulders, and his dick… oh my god! His dick was pressing against my stomach.

_Was it twitching? Shit! What the Hell? _

I could feel my pussy leaking wetness immediately. Jake wrapped his arms around me and rubbed his hands down my shoulders, my arms, down my waist, around my back, and rested his hands on my ass. I looked up at him wanting more but also checking to see exactly where he was at with it all.

When he finally looked down at me, all I saw was raw, unbridled passion in his eyes, or lust if you want a better term. No soon as we locked eyes, he leaned in to kiss me. I trailed my hands to his ass as I felt his warm breath against my lips. When we finally made contact, all awkwardness was out the door.

All I could say was "wow!" He kissed me with a rawness that could only precede major making out or sex itself. He sucked my lips into his mouth and licked them before making an entrance into my mouth. He pulled me closer than before and his hands were everywhere on me except the two places I wanted them to be. My mind was all over the place. Then, like I forgot that it was there, his dick seemed to feel harder, longer.

I jumped into his arms and straddled his hips but never broke the kiss. He caught me and held me so close. Now, after I jumped into Jake's arms, his dick somehow was in the perfect place. It was now positioned at my entrance and I felt the pressure from it trying to break through. I knew that just a little movement would seal the deal. Jake moved his hands to my behind and cupped each cheek. I felt my wetness pooling between my legs and I shuddered to think about just how wet Jake's dick and his stomach would be when I finally got off of him. I think I may have blushed at that thought.

My focus went back to his rock hard dick at my entrance. I squirmed a little in his hands to see if I could worm down just a little. He knew what I was doing and was in no way giving me any room to move lower. I could feel his dick slipping around the outside of my folds allowing just a little friction. I was so turned on.

In my stomach, it felt like butterflies then like a lasso tightening… tighter and tighter with every small movement I made. That, combined with the neck kisses that Jake began giving me when we broke for air had me moaning and calling his name. I was actually begging him for more. It wasn't until he sucked my earlobe into his ear then proceeded to stick his tongue in my ear that I came undone. In my stomach, I could feel something coming. I had no idea what exactly it was but it was the most sensual thing that I'd ever felt in my life. I continued moving right above the head of his dick, received his tongue in my ear, then began squirming and tightening my hold to him. My moans and cries echoed from end to end of the cottage and Jake wasn't helping matters at all. His moans and cries were equal to mine.

"That's right, Renesmee… come for me. Give it all to me, baby," he breathed into my ear.

Oh, shit! What is this? Oh, God… it feels so good. Shit!

While I was in the middle of my release, my movement quickened in his hands and he lost his grip. When he did, the head of his dick entered me. When it did, I tightened up and remained still. I wondered if Jake was ready to do that or if it was an accident. I quickly found that it was a mistake.

Jake regained his grip on me, lifted me off his dick, and placed me on my feet. My mouth immediately went into a pout but I continued to hold him close. I could smell my arousal coming from his stomach and his dick. The smell was almost sweet but it totally embarrassed me. As much as I wanted to make love to Jake, I didn't know if the smell was offensive to him or if it was normal. Honestly, it turned me on, but I wasn't sure exactly what it did to him.

When I looked back up at him, his eyes were closed. His breathing was still ragged and his hands were firmly placed in the crook of my back.

"Jake..." I wanted to say a lot but all of it seemed to be stupid and immature for me to question so I just kept quiet.

"Yes, baby."

I didn't answer. I was afraid.

"Do you want to know what just happened?" He asked. I nodded my head, afraid to look at him or speak.

"Ness, you just had an orgasm. Do you know what that is?"

"Jake… of course I do," I whined.

"Well, how do you feel? I mean… are you alright with what just happened?" he asked nervously.

I squeezed him tighter.

"Of course. Jake, I _want_ to give you everything I have. I want you comfortable with me… able to love me as freely as you wish." Jake moved his hand to my head and squeezed me tightly then we moved to the bed. I sat back in the middle of the bed when he sat beside me.

"Ness, how are we going to make it another day let alone another year or two? That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I wanted you so bad that my body aches, denying myself. And your smell… shit, girl, it was driving me crazy. I just wanted to touch it with my hands, my mouth, my face." He put his head down. "But, Ness, I didn't mean to enter you. You were so close and when your orgasm came down, you slipped from my hands. I'm so sorry about that. I didn't fully enter you so I didn't break your hymen. I'm so sorry, baby. I shouldn't have had you so close like that."

"Shhh… I was exactly where I wanted to be. Honestly, I would have pushed down myself if you hadn't held me up all that time."

"Ness! You're not… we're not ready for that just yet. Hell, really, we weren't ready for what just happened, either. Damn… your dad is going to kill me."

"Jake, calm down. I still say it's our choice. No one has the right to tell us how to love each other with our bodies. It's ours to give."

"Ness, I can't… not yet. Hell, you didn't even know what was happening to you when you were coming. It's not fair…"

"Alright… let me make sure I understand exactly what you're saying. You want to school _me_ on the rights and wrongs of sex before we actually do it? Or do you somehow think that I need more experience at this before actually doing it? Because either way, I win. So, Jake, which one is it?" I smiled flirtatiously at him as I scooted closer to him. "Plus, just the thought of you talking dirty to me makes me want to jump on you right now."

"Nessie, it's not funny. Sex is a real serious act. You could get pregnant. I don't know anything about putting a rubber on, or birth control for you, or when exactly to pull out before I come in you. I don't know about any of it. I just think that it'll be safer if we wait."

"Fine, Jake." I slid off the bed and walked toward the bathroom then turned around. "Oh, Jake, just know that I, as of this moment, do not sleep with clothes anymore neither do I shower alone." I turned back around and headed for the shower. "I'm entering the shower Jacob. Don't keep me waiting."

**((((( Jacob's POV)))))**

My feelings were so hurt when I walked up on Nessie about to kiss Brody. I felt like my heart had broken into a million pieces, and were finishing the job by stabbing me over and over in my chest. After Nessie ran out to explain to me, finally, I knew what I saw, and there was nothing that she could say to me. At the very minimum, she liked him. The very thought of that sickened me. I'd left her to develop feelings for another man and yet I blame her for doing so.

_I'm such a dumb ass. _

When I made it to my cottage, Bella and Edward showed up shortly after and asked me to come with them. I had no idea what was wrong, but by the look on their faces, I knew that all Hell was about to break loose.

When we got to the clearing, I saw Nessie standing next to Brody. Shit! If I would've known that this was where I was coming, I would've stayed home. I stopped across from then, next to Bella, never looking directly at her.

When Edward began talking, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't allow him by her another moment. She's mine, and I will fight for her love. When I walked next to her, Brody got the point, and moved over.

When everything was revealed, I was in utter shock. I was like...what the Hell is going on here? Did I miss something? In the end, Nessie forgave him, but mentioned that they could probably not be friends anymore. All the better for me. Besides...I would hate to have to hurt the little shit for messing with my girl.

Our walk home was intense. I fucked up again. Totally mistook the nights events, running the first chance I got. What the Hell is wrong with me? I'll have to find something to do for her, very special. I really should throw myself down at her feet, and beg her to forgive me...again...As I was about to stop and do just that, she broke the silence.

"Jake, I love you." She said looking up at me with those beautiful green eyes. I brushed the back of his finger across my chin, feeling her warm skin, and the sudden current that shot between us. I leaned in to kiss her, but stopped, wondering if she even wanted me to touch her right now. She met me the rest of the way, letting me know that she wanted it just as much as I did. The kiss was different. Not that it didn't warm me all over, but it made me feel secure. It was like she was telling me that she loved me, and would always be mine, regardless. I never took myself in all my years to be a jealous person...not even with Bella, but my sudden change in attitude is unsettling, even for me. I feel like my whole world revolves around this one little tiny, beautiful person, and she can do with me as she pleases. It's pretty much hopeless that I will ever not let her, eventually, do as she pleases. I'm such a wimp...for her. The kiss ended way too quickly. I could've slept in this same position with her smell this close to me, her tongue in my mouth, and her hands placed securely on my chest.

When we got to the house, I realized that earlier, when I arrived home after finding Brody and Nessie, that I had found Nessie's letters to me. I was actually very embarrassed that I had read them after seeing them. Maybe they were just journal entries, and not actual letters to me. It made me uneasy. I knew that if she found out what I had done, that she would be furious, but I wouldn't lie to her, or hide it, so eventually, tonight, I would tell her, and take what ever she gave out about it.

I washed dishes, changed his bed, took a shower, swept...what ever I could do to avoid the impending conversation. She acted like she was watching television, but I knew that it was only a matter of time before she confronted me. She came to the bedroom to talk.

"Jake, what's up? What's wrong? Do you want me to leave?"

"No, Nessie, of course not." Shit...what the Hell am I suppose to say to her.

"Well, what is it? I won't try anything with you, I promise. You were right. I need to calm down."

"It's nothing Nessie..." Except the fact that I betrayed your trust. She got really pissed with me.

"Jacob Black, don't you start this Bullshit! I asked you a question, and I expect an answer right Damn now! And don't you lie to me! I've known you all my life. I know when something's wrong."

I lowered my eyes to the floor, afraid to face her. "Ness..." I walked over to my nightstand, pulling out the letters that she wrote. She looked at me unphased, then shrugged her shoulders.. "Ness...you're not mad that I read this?"

"Of course not...they were addressed to you, weren't they? I slept in your room, in your bed, with your pillow dressed like you every night. I would crawl out my window at night to come here. I had to be near you in any way I could. I hope _you_ don't mind."

"Ness...your notes broke my heart. I'm so sorry that I put you through that. You were in so much pain. It makes me nervous to be near you. I don't want to hurt you like that again. I just want to hold you and protect you from any pain, but it seems like it's me that hurt you most of all, and I don't know how to deal with it."

She helped me get a grip with myself and what I had done, then told me all about the Shay's and her family's history, and everything I missed over the past weeks.

Honestly, my interest was centered around the relationship that she and Brody shared, and at what stage it currently was at. Inside, I was screaming, having to hear about his devotion to her, and knowing that he was her first kiss...not me...even though she didn't want him to...but still...he's her first kiss...the first man to put his lips to hers. Shit! No matter...I'll fight for her, and I'll win. I really a lot of making up to do.

She leaned over to kiss me before we finished talking. I will never get enough of her that close to me. To say that she's never had a boyfriend, or had sex, she knows exactly what she wants, and how she wants it. Staying away from her, sexually, will be the hardest thing that I'll have to do in this relationship.

When I left her earlier to talk to Edward, I apologized for causing the strain between him and Nessie. He understood that I never provoked her words, but he did ask me to take my time with her. He understands the love that we share, but he also asked me to hold off on sex, until Nessie grows up a little more.

Honestly, I agreed with him. She's still so ruled by her emotions, and I definitely don't want to push her into something that she's clearly not ready for. I know that I promised that I would stop making decisions for her, but this concerns me too. Besides...I don't know anything about sex myself. I would prefer to crawl my way into it, just jump off the cliff like Nessie would like me to do. She's very special, and deserves only the best from me. She deserves a chance to find her sexuality, and let me as well. That way, we never have to have any regrets.

About three of four kiss sessions later, Nessie's need became more and more aggressive. I tried to back off, knowing clearly where it was going, but again, she knew just how to keep me where she wanted me. Shit!

We fell asleep fully clothed on top of the sheets. She laid her head on my chest while I held her all night. That morning, when I looked down at her, and felt her warm body so close to me, it gave me an instant hard on. Shit! Nessie, please don't wake up. I closed my eyes and tried to think about the ocean...no...maybe imagine Billy and some random woman having sex...yeah...that should do it...euh! Yuck! I smiled at the thought. It seemed to be working. It wasn't hurting anymore behind my jeans. Then she messed it all up. She adjusted herself, throwing her knee over my hip. "Uh uh...Don't do that."

"Why? Did I hurt you? I was just trying to snuggle closer."

I pushed her leg off my hip and sat up, and sat up, hoping she wouldn't get up too. Before I could run, she was next to me, looking in my lap. I know I must have blushed ten shades of red. She gasped, realizing what had just happened, never taking her eyes off my obvious bulge.

"Ness...you're not helping things...would you stop that?" I got up and headed toward to bathroom, trying to reposition it to relieve some of the discomfort, but it didn't work...fucking dick...I seemed to only be more aroused by touching it. I peed, hoping that it would lose its desire, but no go. I turned to the door, quietly locked it, and allowed myself a release. It wasn't hard, neither did it take long. I was so wound up just thinking about her in my bed that just the thought of her touching me sent me over the top, quickly. I let it go in my hands, washed them, then returned to Nessie.

Even though she didn't know what I had just done, I felt ashamed. I used her in my mind to get a release, and suddenly, it was so not cool of me to do that. Shit! "I'm sorry about that."

She giggled. "I don't know much about that, but I'm almost sure that it wasn't your fault." Shit...what's going on with me. As soon as she spoke, and pushed her eyes back down there, I hardened again. This girl is dangerous. How the Hell am I suppose to avoid her when every chance she gets alone with me, she makes me feel like this? "Jake, did I do that to you when I threw my leg over you?"

"Yes...yes you did. You rubbed over it when you threw your leg." I smiled. "Sorry."

We didn't say too much after that. What was I suppose to say, anyway? Oh, yeah, Nessie...I'm a total dick. I just jacked off to you in the bathroom, while I imagined you naked next to me. Yeah...that would go really well. She would probably pounce on me, letting me do just that. Shit! What the Hell am I going to do.

Thankfully, Bella came over later to cook up some breakfast. She had gotten into the routine of doing it for Nessie while I was gone. That was fine with me. Bella could cook her ass of anyway. From time to time, she would look over at me when Nessie was turned. I knew what her silent questions were, and I just shook my head. She understood. Nothing happened. What I should've told her was to talk to her daughter. Tell her to back off a little. Stop being so Damn sexy all the Damn time. Stop acting like an insatiable little Virgin. I chuckled at my own thoughts, gaining a frown from Bella. I just looked at her, shaking my head again. If she really knew her daughter. Huh.

When Bella left, Nessie and I were left to our quietness. The whole time that Bella was here, we never said a word to each other, she would just occasionally look at me and smile. I'm not sure what Bella thought about us, but I'm sure that I'll find out about it later. Hopefully, she'll speak to Nessie and not me. That would just be weird. Then again, if Nessie speaks her mind like I know her to do, that won't go very well either. Shit! We need to talk about that before we leave this house.

Nessie broke the silence by telling me that she was going to shower. I have to admit that it surprised the Hell out of me when she walked into my bedroom , opened a drawer, and pulled out underwear, and clothes out of my closet. She probably saw the dorky look I had. At first, it made me feel all mushy to think that she could actually be living here, then it gave me a major hard on. Thankfully, I was standing behind the sofa, where she couldn't see below my waist. Man! What's wrong with me. I'm the mature one in this relationship. I should be able to control my silly boyish hard ons. Maybe it would be better if I think of her as my little Nessie. That little girl that I left just weeks ago. Yes, it's helping. Good bye Mr. Hardon. Hello Mr. Dignity.

Nessie broke my stupid inner rambling. "What? I told you I was living here." I just looked at her and walked out the room. Shit! Just hearing her say that hardened me instantly. See, I'm not just a hard up asshole, but when I looked at her hands, and a pair of thongs were hanging from her finger, my mind went to her being naked, slipping those on. Shit! This is definitely going to be bad...really bad.

I walked into the kitchen, and splashed my face with cold water, then walked outside to get some fresh air. My phone rang while I was out there, and it was Seth, telling me about Legend. He was so happy. When we finished the conversation, I went in to find myself some clothes to wear today.

When I walked in the room, there was Nessie, butt naked, bending down right in front of me, picking up her panties. I gasped. I froze in my place, trying to decide if I should turn and run, or run up to her, and give her everything she's been asking me for. I did neither. I just stood there like a dorky fool with my eyes wide and my mouth open. She was startled by my presence and dropped her towel. Holy shit! I screamed in my head. To make matters worse, she took out running. She definitely couldn't imagine how incredibly sexy she looked bouncing away from me butt naked. I smiled widely at the vision before me, hoping she didn't turn around and catch me enjoying this.

When she got to the bathroom, she slammed the door, and locked it. I could literally hear her heart racing out her chest, and her breathing was labored. I hope she's not embarassed, or that she isn't completely beautiful naked. I took a deep breath and walked to the door, placing my face on the door.

"Ness, you alright? Ness...it's alright. You have a beautiful...um...body. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Ness, talk to me. I know I should've knocked first. I'm sorry."

I stood there for a while, begging her to say something to me, but she said nothing, so I just left to go into the living room, hoping that the absence of my presence would help her to calm down. "Shit!" I am really a dumb ass. I can officially dub myself 'Dumb Ass of the Century.'

About thirty minutes later, she finally came out. Immediately, my heart began racing. I'm not sure if it was because of what I just saw, or if I was afraid of how upset she would be once she finally spoke to me. I just sat there, very still, pointing my face toward the television.

I could hear her fumbling around in the kitchen, then she cleared her throat to get my attention. When I turned around, I immediately started apologizing.

"Ness, I'm really sorry. I would never...never do something like that on purpose. I..."

"Jake, look, why don't we just get this over with. If we plan on living here together, at least sometimes, we are bound to see things, so let's just get it over with so we don't ever have to feel like this again."

As soon as she finished speaking, she began unbuttoning her shirt. I took in a deep breath, held it, and my mouth fell open.

"Wait..._what_ are you doing?" I just couldn't believe what she was doing. Was she trying to make me lose all of my resolve? I'm definitely not strong enough to stop this if she touches me. Oh, god, oh, god. My breathing quickly sped up, while I willed myself to calm the Hell down.

"I'm about to take all of my clothes off, and so are you, so next time this happens, I won't feel like I want to go jump in a bottomless abyss and let the monsters eat me alive."

I just couldn't believe what she was saying. She actually wants us to get naked on purpose, then do nothing. Huh, never happen. I began quickly shaking my head like an idiot. Shit! I couldn't possibly be looking sexy at all. Everything I'm doing makes me feel like a dweeb.

"Oh, yes you are." Oh, Hell no...did she just demand to me that I strip in front of her. If only she knew just what's on my mind this morning, she wouldn't be so pushy...wait...yes she would. She'd probably come over here and undress me herself.

She finished taking her clothes off...all of them. I guess she intended for it to not to be sensual – the way she undressed, but her every movement riddled perfection. She never gave thought to what she was doing, but still managed to look completely seductive. I'd love to see what she'd do if she meant to look seductive.

She immediately locked the front door and closed the curtains, then walked directly in front of the television, placing her hips on her hands. Shit! I should run, or turn my head, or something. This ain't right...right? Huh...

"Jake, take your clothes off. You only have to feel weird this one time. Every other time will be no big deal, trust me. This second time standing in front of you is much better than the first. Much better." Huh...weird is definitely not what I was thinking I felt like, but what ever. I agreed, but not after trying to convince her to back out of this. This will definitely end bad. I just sighed.

I took my clothes off as she asked, but left my boxers on. My dick was so hard that I was ashamed to show her what her nakedness did to me. I was suppose to be in better control than this. And now...I'm officially done. I am not going any further. This is far enough. Before I could lean down to pick up my clothes, Nessie broke my reverie.

"Come on Jake, throw your modesty out the door with the trash, because I know Damn well that you don't have anything to be embarrassed about. Take 'em off."

Shit! I just stood there, not wanting to look like a little pansie, afraid to let a girl see me naked, but knowing that that was exactly what I needed to do. Eventually, I did as she asked. What the Hell...I tried to warn her. I pulled my boxers down, and placed both my hands over my...um...dick. She actually stood there like she was waiting for me to move my hands..what the? I blushed at that very moment.

She began taking steps toward me to remove my hands.

"Nessie, stop. I mean it. Stop!"

"What ever, Jake, remove your hand then." What is wrong with this girl? Don't she already see what's going on with me. Don't she understand that I'm trying to do the right thing here? Or does she not care? Frankly, I was tired of her games, so I showed her to get her to drop the issue. I did like she did, placing my hands on my hips.

When she looked down at it, she seemed genuinely surprised. I knew that she had never seen one live and in color, but her expression was so colored that I was almost embarrassed. I didn't know if she thought it should've been larger or smaller. Well, there went my ego. Exit stage right. Shit! I hate this! Then, to make matters worse, she giggled. I immediately covered up again.

"No, Jake, I'm not laughing at you, I was laughing at this situation. We are standing here butt bone naked, and facing each other just to get rid of any quips that my come up later. You have to admit that it's funny." Huh, this was anything but funny, but I kept that shit to myself.

"Yes, I guess so...so what do we do now?"

"Can I touch you?"

"Nessie...I don't know. It could get real serious, way too quick."

"But Jake, remember, awkwardness, just do it once, and if you brush up against me later, it won't be so bad." Alright, you know what...if I didn't know better, I would think that she's trying to seduce me. I think she knows exactly what she'd doing. The little vixen.

She stopped right in front of me and paused. Inside, I rejoiced. I just knew that she was having second thoughts about this whole thing, and I could put my clothes back on. Huh...that thought lasted only a moment.

"Jake, we'll just hug, I guess. That should be easy enough."

Shit! This is really going to happen! Feet! Where are you! Move! Now! Shit! What's wrong with me? Oh, my god...Oh, my...Woahhhh...when she touched me, my body warmed instantly, and my Dick hardened harder...if that was even possible.

All I could think about was the warmth of her body against me, her sweet, lilac smell, and the feeling of her warm breath against my chest. I tried to calm my reaction by listening to her heartbeat, but hers had become so eratic that that didn't help either. Oh, Shit! I want her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. And, here she is, willing, ready.

Out of nowhere, another smell hit my nose. Arousal...Shit! Her arousal. My nose twitched, savoring the smell, committing it to memory.

I coudn't take it anymore. I wrapped my arms around her, grazing every part of her from her shoulders to her waist, and around her back to her Ass.

When she looked up at me with those emerald green eyes, there was no question as to what she wanted. It was the same thing I wanted right now...more...I leaned in to kiss her. Sirens were going off loudly in my head telling me not to do it. Not to take it there, but I was way past reason at this point. Instead, I pulled her closer, tighter. The kiss was so much more than I've ever experienced. It woke up feelings in me that I've never felt before, let alone wanted to act on. I hardened at the thought of possibly doing this.

What she did next, floored me. She jumped into may arms, straddling my hips, fiercely kissing me. To make things worse, he repositioned herself right above the head of my dick. I could feel her wetness seeping onto me. My breathing was erratic, and it took everything I had not to push forward. To help with my resolve, I placed my hands under her ass, and firmly held her there.

As if all of this wasn't enough, she began twirling her ass around, causing her wet Pussy to move across my head. Shit! It felt so good. Her pussy was so warm and wet, and so inviting, but I held my position with her, not letting her drop down any further. Her small movements on top of me seemed great in comparison to what she was actually doing.

I broke the kiss and began giving her open mouth kisses along her jawline, her earlobe and her neck. It seemed to light a brighter fire within her. She began moaning and calling my name. Not the way that she usually says Jake, but breathy, needy, sexy. It was like she was begging for more of what ever I was willing to give to her. I stuck my tongue in her ear, and everything changed. Her squirming became erratic above the head of my dick, and her whole body began tightening. She looked so Damn sexy, allowing herself to be so free with me like this. She will definitely be a hand full when we do finally make love.

Her moans became louder, and her cries echoed across the cottage. I was so Damn turned on listening to her. I probably moaned with her. The feeling at the tip of my dick was overwhelming. When she tightened again, her body started bucking around me. I knew what was happening. My little vixen was having an orgasm. Shit! Look at this!

"That's right, Renesmee...come for me...give it all to me, baby."

Her movements quickened at my words, and I lost grip of her, causing the head of my dick to enter her. Shit! My eyes bucked open. The warmth that I felt with that little movement made me want to keep pushing, to feel more. I wanted more...much more. Fuck! Jacob, pull it together...You stupid Mutherfucker. I pulled out of her and placed her back on her feet.

She actually looked disappointed that I did that. She couldn't actually think that I would have sex with her like this? Could she? No matter. It's over now.

I stood there with my eyes closed, willing my body to calm down. But how could I? He smell of her lust was overwhelming. It made me want to touch her there, and smooth her all over my fingers, even to taste it. I wonder if she tastes as good as she smells. Shit! Shut that Shit up! I can't do that.

"Jake..."

"Yes, baby...Do you want to know what just happened?" She nodded. "Ness, you just had an orgasm. Do you know what that is?"

"Jake...of course I do." She whined, then blushed.

"Well, how do you feel? I mean...are you alright with what just happened?"

"Of course. Jake, I want to give you everything I have. I want you comfortable with me, loving me as freely as you wish." I took her back to the bed.

"Ness, how are we going to make it another day, rather than another year or two. That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I want you so bad that my body aches, denying myself. And your smell...shit, girl, it was driving me crazy. I just wanted to touch it with my hands, my mouth, my face. But Ness, I didn't mean to enter you. You were so close, and when your orgasm came down, you slipped from my hands. I'm so sorry about that. But, I didn't fully enter you, so I didn't break your hymen. I'm so sorry, baby. I shouldn't have had you so close like that."

We talked for a while about what just happened, and how we should handle this in the future. Well, I did. She just looked a little pissed at my blatant denial of sex right now.

"Fine, Jake," she said and walked toward the bathroom. "Oh, Jake, just know that I, as of this moment, do not sleep with clothes anymore, nor do I shower alone." She left the room and I heard the shower start. "I'm entering the shower Jacob. Don't keep me waiting."

**There ya go! Please review and let me know what you think.**


	13. Woops 2: Jake's POV

**Chapter 13: Woops 2!**

**SM owns all things Twilight. *pouts* I just pitifully remake her characters.**

**A/N: I have a number of chapters written and I plan to post regularly. Even twice a week if I can get them read over and edited on my own. I have several things in my head and I want to finish this story. This chapter is not beta'd so I accept responsibility for any and all mistakes.**

**Summary: Jake and Ness get heated. Similar to the last chapter only Jake's perception of what happened.**

**Oh, thanks to all of my readers that have sent reviews and PMs to me about this story. I've seen every review and I appreciate every single one. You're the reason I'm going forward. Oh, to my anonymous reviewers… you've left such nice words. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave an encouraging word. **** Love you all.**

**Now, read… and don't forget to leave me a few words in a review. Mwah!**

**((((( Jacob's POV)))))**

My feelings were so hurt when I walked up on Nessie about to kiss Brody. I felt like my heart had broken into a million pieces, and were finishing the job by stabbing me over and over in my chest. After Nessie ran out to explain to me, finally, I knew what I saw, and there was nothing that she could say to me. At the very minimum, she liked him. The very thought of that sickened me. I'd left her just for her to develop feelings for another man and yet I blamed her for doing so.

_I'm such a dumb ass. _

When I made it to my cottage, Bella and Edward showed up shortly after and asked me to come with them. I had no idea what was wrong, but by the look on their faces, I knew that all hell was about to break loose.

When we got to the clearing, I saw Nessie standing next to Brody.

_Shit! _

If I would've known that was where I was going, I would've stayed home. I stopped across from them, right next to Bella. I never looked directly at Nessie.

When Edward began talking, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't allow _him_ by her another moment. She's mine and I would fight for her love. When I walked next to her, Brody got the point and moved over.

When everything was revealed, I was in utter shock. I was like… what the hell is going on here? Did I miss something? In the end, Nessie forgave him but mentioned they could probably not be friends anymore. All the better for me. Besides, I would hate to have to hurt the little shit for messing with _my_ girl.

Our walk home was intense. I fucked up _again_. I totally mistook the night's events and ran the first chance I got.

_What the hell is wrong with me? _

I wanted to find something to do for her very special. I owed her that. I really should've thrown myself down at her feet and begged her to forgive me again. As I was about to stop and do just that, she broke the silence.

"Jake, I love you," she said looking up at me with those beautiful brown eyes. I brushed the back of my finger across her chin. The warmth of our skin touching and the passion that we both felt sent currents around us… through us. I leaned in to kiss her but stopped. I wondered if she even wanted me to touch her. She met me the rest of the way, letting me know that she wanted it just as much as I did.

The kiss was different – not that it didn't warm me all over, but it made me feel secure. It was like she was telling me that she loved me and would always be mine, regardless. I never took myself, in all my years, to be a jealous man… not even with Bella. My sudden change in attitude was unsettling, even for me. I felt like my whole world revolved around this one little tiny, beautiful person, and she could do with me as she pleased.

It's pretty much hopeless that I'll ever _not_ let her, eventually, do as she pleases. I'm such a wimp for her. The kiss ended way too quickly. I could've slept in that same position with her smell that close to me, her tongue in my mouth, and her hands placed securely on my chest.

When we got to the house, I realized that earlier, when I arrived home after finding Brody and Nessie, that I'd found Nessie's letters to me. I was actually very embarrassed that I'd read them after seeing them. Maybe they were just journal entries and not actual letters to me. It made me uneasy. I knew that if she found out what I'd done, she'd be furious, but I wouldn't lie to her or hide it. I'd tell her and deal with her wrath.

I washed dishes, changed my bed, took a shower, swept… what ever I could do to avoid the impending conversation. She acted like she was watching television but I knew that it was only a matter of time before she confronted me. She came to the bedroom to talk.

"Jake, what's up? What's wrong? Do you want me to leave?"

"No, Nessie, of course not."

_Shit...what the Hell am I supposed to say to her?_

"Well, what is it? I won't try anything with you, I promise. You were right. I need to calm down."

"It's nothing Nessie..." _Except the fact that I betrayed your trust._ She got really pissed with me.

"Jacob Black, don't you start this bullshit! I asked you a question and I expect an answer right damn now! And don't you lie to me! I've known you all my life. I know when something's wrong."

I lowered my eyes to the floor, afraid to face her. "Ness..." I walked over to my nightstand and pulled out the letters that she wrote. She looked at me unphased then shrugged her shoulders. "Ness, you're not mad that I read this?"

"Of course not...they were addressed to you, weren't they? I slept in your room, in your bed, with your pillow dressed like you every night. I would crawl out my window at night to come here. I had to be near you in any way I could. I hope _you_ don't mind."

"Ness...your notes broke my heart. I'm so sorry that I put you through that. You were in so much pain. It makes me nervous to be near you. I don't want to hurt you like that again. I just want to hold you and protect you from any pain, but it seems like it's me that hurt you most of all, and I don't know how to deal with it."

She helped me get a grip with myself and what I had done, then told me all about the Shay's and her family's history and everything I missed over the past weeks.

Honestly, my interest was centered around the relationship that she and Brody shared, and at what stage it currently was at. Inside, I was screaming, having to hear about his devotion to her, and knowing that he was her first kiss...not me...even though she didn't want him to...but still...he's her first kiss...the first man to put his lips to hers. Shit! No matter...I'll fight for her, and I'll win. I really a lot of making up to do.

She leaned over to kiss me before we finished talking. I will never get enough of her that close to me. To say that she's never had a boyfriend, or had sex, she knows exactly what she wants, and how she wants it. Staying away from her, sexually, will be the hardest thing that I'll have to do in this relationship.

When I left her earlier to talk to Edward, I apologized for causing the strain between him and Nessie. He understood that I never provoked her words, but he did ask me to take my time with her. He understands the love that we share, but he also asked me to hold off on sex, until Nessie grows up a little more.

Honestly, I agreed with him. She's still so ruled by her emotions, and I definitely don't want to push her into something that she's clearly not ready for. I know that I promised that I would stop making decisions for her, but this concerns me too. Besides...I don't know anything about sex myself. I would prefer to crawl my way into it, just jump off the cliff like Nessie would like me to do. She's very special, and deserves only the best from me. She deserves a chance to find her sexuality, and let me as well. That way, we never have to have any regrets.

About three of four kiss sessions later, Nessie's need became more and more aggressive. I tried to back off, knowing clearly where it was going, but again, she knew just how to keep me where she wanted me. Shit!

We fell asleep fully clothed on top of the sheets. She laid her head on my chest while I held her all night. That morning, when I looked down at her, and felt her warm body so close to me, it gave me an instant hard on. Shit! Nessie, please don't wake up. I closed my eyes and tried to think about the ocean...no...maybe imagine Billy and some random woman having sex...yeah...that should do it...euh! Yuck! I smiled at the thought. It seemed to be working. It wasn't hurting anymore behind my jeans. Then she messed it all up. She adjusted herself, throwing her knee over my hip. "Uh uh...Don't do that."

"Why? Did I hurt you? I was just trying to snuggle closer."

I pushed her leg off my hip and sat up, and sat up, hoping she wouldn't get up too. Before I could run, she was next to me, looking in my lap. I know I must have blushed ten shades of red. She gasped, realizing what had just happened, never taking her eyes off my obvious bulge.

"Ness...you're not helping things...would you stop that?" I got up and headed toward to bathroom, trying to reposition it to relieve some of the discomfort, but it didn't work...fucking dick...I seemed to only be more aroused by touching it. I peed, hoping that it would lose its desire, but no go. I turned to the door, quietly locked it, and allowed myself a release. It wasn't hard, neither did it take long. I was so wound up just thinking about her in my bed that just the thought of her touching me sent me over the top, quickly. I let it go in my hands, washed them, then returned to Nessie.

Even though she didn't know what I had just done, I felt ashamed. I used her in my mind to get a release, and suddenly, it was so not cool of me to do that. Shit! "I'm sorry about that."

She giggled. "I don't know much about that, but I'm almost sure that it wasn't your fault." Shit...what's going on with me. As soon as she spoke, and pushed her eyes back down there, I hardened again. This girl is dangerous. How the Hell am I suppose to avoid her when every chance she gets alone with me, she makes me feel like this? "Jake, did I do that to you when I threw my leg over you?"

"Yes...yes you did. You rubbed over it when you threw your leg." I smiled. "Sorry."

We didn't say too much after that. What was I suppose to say, anyway? Oh, yeah, Nessie...I'm a total dick. I just jacked off to you in the bathroom, while I imagined you naked next to me. Yeah...that would go really well. She would probably pounce on me, letting me do just that. Shit! What the Hell am I going to do.

Thankfully, Bella came over later to cook up some breakfast. She had gotten into the routine of doing it for Nessie while I was gone. That was fine with me. Bella could cook her ass of anyway. From time to time, she would look over at me when Nessie was turned. I knew what her silent questions were, and I just shook my head. She understood. Nothing happened. What I should've told her was to talk to her daughter. Tell her to back off a little. Stop being so Damn sexy all the Damn time. Stop acting like an insatiable little Virgin. I chuckled at my own thoughts, gaining a frown from Bella. I just looked at her, shaking my head again. If she really knew her daughter. Huh.

When Bella left, Nessie and I were left to our quietness. The whole time that Bella was here, we never said a word to each other, she would just occasionally look at me and smile. I'm not sure what Bella thought about us, but I'm sure that I'll find out about it later. Hopefully, she'll speak to Nessie and not me. That would just be weird. Then again, if Nessie speaks her mind like I know her to do, that won't go very well either. Shit! We need to talk about that before we leave this house.

Nessie broke the silence by telling me that she was going to shower. I have to admit that it surprised the Hell out of me when she walked into my bedroom , opened a drawer, and pulled out underwear, and clothes out of my closet. She probably saw the dorky look I had. At first, it made me feel all mushy to think that she could actually be living here, then it gave me a major hard on. Thankfully, I was standing behind the sofa, where she couldn't see below my waist. Man! What's wrong with me. I'm the mature one in this relationship. I should be able to control my silly boyish hard-ons. Maybe it would be better if I think of her as my little Nessie. That little girl that I left just weeks ago. Yes, it's helping. Good bye Mr. Hardon. Hello Mr. Dignity.

Nessie broke my stupid inner rambling. "What? I told you I was living here." I just looked at her and walked out the room. Shit! Just hearing her say that hardened me instantly. See, I'm not just a hard up asshole, but when I looked at her hands, and a pair of thongs were hanging from her finger, my mind went to her being naked, slipping those on. Shit! This is definitely going to be bad...really bad.

I walked into the kitchen, and splashed my face with cold water, then walked outside to get some fresh air. My phone rang while I was out there, and it was Seth, telling me about Legend. He was so happy. When we finished the conversation, I went in to find myself some clothes to wear today.

When I walked in the room, there was Nessie, butt naked, bending down right in front of me, picking up her panties. I gasped. I froze in my place, trying to decide if I should turn and run, or run up to her, and give her everything she's been asking me for. I did neither. I just stood there like a dorky fool with my eyes wide and my mouth open. She was startled by my presence and dropped her towel. Holy shit! I screamed in my head. To make matters worse, she took out running. She definitely couldn't imagine how incredibly sexy she looked bouncing away from me butt naked. I smiled widely at the vision before me, hoping she didn't turn around and catch me enjoying this.

When she got to the bathroom, she slammed the door, and locked it. I could literally hear her heart racing out her chest, and her breathing was labored. I hope she's not embarrassed, or that she isn't completely beautiful naked. I took a deep breath and walked to the door, placing my face on the door.

"Ness, you alright? Ness...it's alright. You have a beautiful...um...body. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Ness, talk to me. I know I should've knocked first. I'm sorry."

I stood there for a while, begging her to say something to me, but she said nothing, so I just left to go into the living room, hoping that the absence of my presence would help her to calm down. "Shit!" I am really a dumb ass. I can officially dub myself 'Dumb Ass of the Century.'

About thirty minutes later, she finally came out. Immediately, my heart began racing. I'm not sure if it was because of what I just saw, or if I was afraid of how upset she would be once she finally spoke to me. I just sat there, very still, pointing my face toward the television.

I could hear her fumbling around in the kitchen, then she cleared her throat to get my attention. When I turned around, I immediately started apologizing.

"Ness, I'm really sorry. I would never...never do something like that on purpose. I..."

"Jake, look, why don't we just get this over with. If we plan on living here together, at least sometimes, we are bound to see things, so let's just get it over with so we don't ever have to feel like this again."

As soon as she finished speaking, she began unbuttoning her shirt. I took in a deep breath, held it, and my mouth fell open.

"Wait..._what_ are you doing?" I just couldn't believe what she was doing. Was she trying to make me lose all of my resolve? I'm definitely not strong enough to stop this if she touches me. Oh, god, oh, god. My breathing quickly sped up, while I willed myself to calm the Hell down.

"I'm about to take all of my clothes off, and so are you, so next time this happens, I won't feel like I want to go jump in a bottomless abyss and let the monsters eat me alive."

I just couldn't believe what she was saying. She actually wants us to get naked on purpose, then do nothing. Huh, never happen. I began quickly shaking my head like an idiot. Shit! I couldn't possibly be looking sexy at all. Everything I'm doing makes me feel like a dweeb.

"Oh, yes you are." Oh, Hell no...did she just demand to me that I strip in front of her. If only she knew just what's on my mind this morning, she wouldn't be so pushy...wait...yes she would. She'd probably come over here and undress me herself.

She finished taking her clothes off...all of them. I guess she intended for it to not to be sensual – the way she undressed, but her every movement riddled perfection. She never gave thought to what she was doing, but still managed to look completely seductive. I'd love to see what she'd do if she meant to look seductive.

She immediately locked the front door and closed the curtains, then walked directly in front of the television, placing her hips on her hands. Shit! I should run, or turn my head, or something. This ain't right... right? Huh...

"Jake, take your clothes off. You only have to feel weird this one time. Every other time will be no big deal, trust me. This second time standing in front of you is much better than the first. Much better." Huh...weird is definitely not what I was thinking I felt like, but what ever. I agreed, but not after trying to convince her to back out of this. This will definitely end bad. I just sighed.

I took my clothes off as she asked, but left my boxers on. My dick was so hard that I was ashamed to show her what her nakedness did to me. I was suppose to be in better control than this. And now...I'm officially done. I am not going any further. This is far enough. Before I could lean down to pick up my clothes, Nessie broke my reverie.

"Come on Jake, throw your modesty out the door with the trash, because I know Damn well that you don't have anything to be embarrassed about. Take 'em off."

Shit! I just stood there, not wanting to look like a little pansy, afraid to let a girl see me naked, but knowing that that was exactly what I needed to do. Eventually, I did as she asked. What the Hell...I tried to warn her. I pulled my boxers down, and placed both my hands over my...um...dick. She actually stood there like she was waiting for me to move my hands...what the? I blushed at that very moment.

She began taking steps toward me to remove my hands.

"Nessie, stop. I mean it. Stop!"

"What ever, Jake, remove your hand then." What is wrong with this girl? Don't she already see what's going on with me. Don't she understand that I'm trying to do the right thing here? Or does she not care? Frankly, I was tired of her games, so I showed her to get her to drop the issue. I did like she did, placing my hands on my hips.

When she looked down at it, she seemed genuinely surprised. I knew that she had never seen one live and in color, but her expression was so colored that I was almost embarrassed. I didn't know if she thought it should've been larger or smaller. Well, there went my ego. Exit stage right. Shit! I hate this! Then, to make matters worse, she giggled. I immediately covered up again.

"No, Jake, I'm not laughing at you, I was laughing at this situation. We are standing here butt bone naked, and facing each other just to get rid of any quips that my come up later. You have to admit that it's funny." Huh, this was anything but funny, but I kept that shit to myself.

"Yes, I guess so...so what do we do now?"

"Can I touch you?"

"Nessie...I don't know. It could get real serious, way too quick."

"But Jake, remember, awkwardness, just do it once, and if you brush up against me later, it won't be so bad." Alright, you know what...if I didn't know better, I would think that she's trying to seduce me. I think she knows exactly what she'd doing. The little vixen.

She stopped right in front of me and paused. Inside, I rejoiced. I just knew that she was having second thoughts about this whole thing, and I could put my clothes back on. Huh...that thought lasted only a moment.

"Jake, we'll just hug, I guess. That should be easy enough."

Shit! This is really going to happen! Feet! Where are you! Move! Now! Shit! What's wrong with me? Oh, my god...Oh, my...Woahhhh...when she touched me, my body warmed instantly, and my Dick hardened harder...if that was even possible.

All I could think about was the warmth of her body against me, her sweet, lilac smell, and the feeling of her warm breath against my chest. I tried to calm my reaction by listening to her heartbeat, but hers had become so erratic that that didn't help either. Oh, Shit! I want her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. And, here she is, willing, ready.

Out of nowhere, another smell hit my nose. Arousal...Shit! Her arousal. My nose twitched, savoring the smell, committing it to memory.

I couldn't take it anymore. I wrapped my arms around her, grazing every part of her from her shoulders to her waist, and around her back to her Ass.

When she looked up at me with those emerald green eyes, there was no question as to what she wanted. It was the same thing I wanted right now...more...I leaned in to kiss her. Sirens were going off loudly in my head telling me not to do it. Not to take it there, but I was way past reason at this point. Instead, I pulled her closer, tighter. The kiss was so much more than I've ever experienced. It woke up feelings in me that I've never felt before, let alone wanted to act on. I hardened at the thought of possibly doing this.

What she did next, floored me. She jumped into may arms, straddling my hips, fiercely kissing me. To make things worse, he repositioned herself right above the head of my dick. I could feel her wetness seeping onto me. My breathing was erratic, and it took everything I had not to push forward. To help with my resolve, I placed my hands under her ass, and firmly held her there.

As if all of this wasn't enough, she began twirling her ass around, causing her wet Pussy to move across my head. Shit! It felt so good. Her pussy was so warm and wet, and so inviting, but I held my position with her, not letting her drop down any further. Her small movements on top of me seemed great in comparison to what she was actually doing.

I broke the kiss and began giving her open mouth kisses along her jaw line, her earlobe and her neck. It seemed to light a brighter fire within her. She began moaning and calling my name. Not the way that she usually says Jake, but breathy, needy, sexy. It was like she was begging for more of what ever I was willing to give to her. I stuck my tongue in her ear, and everything changed. Her squirming became erratic above the head of my dick, and her whole body began tightening. She looked so Damn sexy, allowing herself to be so free with me like this. She will definitely be a hand full when we do finally make love.

Her moans became louder, and her cries echoed across the cottage. I was so Damn turned on listening to her. I probably moaned with her. The feeling at the tip of my dick was overwhelming. When she tightened again, her body started bucking around me. I knew what was happening. My little vixen was having an orgasm. Shit! Look at this!

"That's right, Renesmee...come for me...give it all to me, baby."

Her movements quickened at my words, and I lost grip of her, causing the head of my dick to enter her. Shit! My eyes bucked open. The warmth that I felt with that little movement made me want to keep pushing, to feel more. I wanted more...much more. Fuck! Jacob, pull it together...You stupid Motherfucker. I pulled out of her and placed her back on her feet.

She actually looked disappointed that I did that. She couldn't actually think that I would have sex with her like this? Could she? No matter. It's over now.

I stood there with my eyes closed, willing my body to calm down. But how could I? He smell of her lust was overwhelming. It made me want to touch her there, and smooth her all over my fingers, even to taste it. I wonder if she tastes as good as she smells. Shit! Shut that Shit up! I can't do that.

"Jake..."

"Yes, baby...Do you want to know what just happened?" She nodded. "Ness, you just had an orgasm. Do you know what that is?"

"Jake...of course I do." She whined, then blushed.

"Well, how do you feel? I mean...are you alright with what just happened?"

"Of course. Jake, I want to give you everything I have. I want you comfortable with me, loving me as freely as you wish." I took her back to the bed.

"Ness, how are we going to make it another day, rather than another year or two. That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I want you so bad that my body aches, denying myself. And your smell...shit, girl, it was driving me crazy. I just wanted to touch it with my hands, my mouth, my face. But Ness, I didn't mean to enter you. You were so close, and when your orgasm came down, you slipped from my hands. I'm so sorry about that. But, I didn't fully enter you, so I didn't break your hymen. I'm so sorry, baby. I shouldn't have had you so close like that."

We talked for a while about what just happened, and how we should handle this in the future. Well, I did. She just looked a little pissed at my blatant denial of sex right now.

"Fine, Jake." She said, going to the bathroom. "Oh, Jake, just know that I, as of this moment, do not sleep with clothes anymore, nor do I shower alone." She left the room, and I heard the shower start. "I'm entering the shower Jacob. Don't keep me waiting."

**Soooo? Leave a review pleeezzzzzzz….**


	14. New Commitments

**Chapter 14: New Commitments**

**((((( Jacob's POV)))))**

**I don't own anything Twilight. The poem in the chapter is called Passion Uncontrolled by ifiwerepig from ****.com**

_From Chapter 13 _

"_Fine, Jake." She said, going to the bathroom. "Oh, Jake, just know that I, as of this moment, do not sleep with clothes anymore, nor do I shower alone." She left the room, and I heard the shower start. "I'm entering the shower Jacob. Don't keep me waiting."_

Chapter 14

_Shit, shit, shit! Did she just hear anything that I just said_?

My body ached bad as I made an attempt to crawl from the bed.

_Shit! Jacob, no sex. No sex. No sex! Oh, my God! I feel like I'm freaking out. Edward is going to fucking kill me. Shit! Shit! Shit!_

"Jaaake!" Nessie called very sweetly. "I'm waiting for you..."

I made my way to the bathroom. Small beads of sweat began to form on my forehead and my back. I felt my hand quiver and my dick twitch. My whole body was going in a hundred different directions, making me dizzy. I sat on the edge of the tub, trying to find a way to get my dumb ass out of that situation unscathed.

At first, I thought about just denying her the shower with me, which would never work, so I decided to do the shower, but set some rules or else...

When I stepped into the warm shower, Nessie looked up at me with the most delicious grin. For a moment, I lost my resolve as I leaned down to her and kissed her lips. In just moments, the kiss deepened, and she was in my arms again.

_Shit! This girl's salacious attitude makes it very hard for me to do the "right thing" by her. _

I mean, sure, we could do it easily and it would be the greatest feeling in the world, but would it be right?

_Fuck! _

I put her down and broke the kiss and all contact. I turned my back to her, grabbed the soap, and began bathing myself. I knew she was pissed. I could feel her stare cutting me in two from behind me, but she controlled her tongue. She didn't say a word but she did something much worse.

She placed her little hands around my waist and laid her head on my back. That sounds innocent enough, right? The little shit placed the palm of her hand on my chest. My dick immediately stood at attention.

She was showing me her thoughts of the two of us on the bed, naked, making love, over and over. She was screaming my name and moaning to the music we were making together. I felt her feelings as we continued the act. They were those of extreme love, satisfaction, happiness. She showed me many positions and ways that she wanted sex. She ended it with both of us blissed out after many hard orgasms.

When she removed her hand, I realized that my breathing and heart rate had quickened and my every thought was full of what she'd just showed me. So, needless to say, when she turned me around, I was just putty in her hands.

"Jake… make love to me. Please?" She pulled my shoulders down to her and kissed me deeply. She traveled her hand down to my dick and wrapped her small hand around it. When she began stroking it, I knew I was too far gone. I wanted her just as bad as she wanted me and I wasn't fighting it any more. I broke her grip and lifted her around my hips. I turned the tub off, stepped out the shower, and grabbed my towel to dry her off a little before putting her in the bed.

When I laid her on her back on the bed, I finished drying her off. She lay there with her legs wide open to me, leaving nothing hidden. I could smell her lust as I finished drying between her legs.

She scooted up toward the headboard and stretched her arms out to me. When I lay next to her, she placed her hands on my face, replaying the vision from earlier, but adding extra scenes.

Her imagination getting more colorful by the moment. I crawled on top of her, bracing myself with my forearm and began doing just as she imagined. I kissed her, touched every inch of her body, sucked on her neck, her breasts, and began my decent to her special parts. My fingers traveled through her soft curls, finding my treasure of wetness between her soft folds.

"Jake, you did that to me. I love you. Make me yours. Make love to me, Jake." I returned her request with another deepened, passionate kiss that had me coming up for breath far too soon. I couldn't wait any longer. I positioned myself between her legs while sucking one of her nipples then pulled away, looking into her eyes.

"Are you sure? You can change your mind," I said to her, hoping that she had the will to stop me because my resolve was gone.

She still had her hand on my face, successfully deflating my senses and inhibiting my right mind. I wanted it all – every bit that she was showing me. She ignored me but showed me a picture of me entering her for the first time. She wrapped her arms around my neck and smiled through hooded eyes. I positioned the head of my dick at her entrance and she held on tighter but never removed her hand from my face. As I began to push, someone knocked on the door.

"Fuck."

I jumped up, pulled her hand from my face and stood both of us up. I was freaking, running around putting on clothes, washing my hands, spraying air freshener. She never moved from where I placed her on her feet. "Ness, what are you doing?" I whispered. "Get dressed."

She crossed her arms in front of her. "No. Jake, this is ridiculous. Who cares who's there? Just tell them to come back later. In fact, I'll do it."

Ness walked to the door but before she could open it, I pulled her back into the bedroom and put one of my big t-shirts on her. "Ness, please, stay in here. Please."

She just huffed and flopped back onto the bed.

It was Alice.

_Shit! _

I opened the door. "Hi, Alice, what's up?" I half smiled. Nervousness was evident in my voice.

"Jake, can I come in?"

"Sure, come on." I closed the door behind her and turned to her.

"Where's Nessie?"

"In the bedroom. Do you need her?"

"No, I came for you. Jake, I know what just almost happened," she whispered. "I came to help you." She smiled. I released a gush of air that I had been holding unknowingly, and mouthed a quick thank you. I tried to smile, but I'm sure it came out more weird and jittery. "Nessie! Come on, I need some help today. I haven't shopped in like two weeks and I'm jonesing! Let's go!" She smiled and looked at me. I silently thanked her again.

Nessie came out in the t-shirt that I put on her.

_Shit! Does she have any shame? Hell no! That's the answer. Shit! _

"Aunt Ali, I'd love to go shopping with you, but not right now. I was just about to… do something. Can we go later this afternoon?"

"No, Nessie, there's a sale that's only until two o'clock, and I need time to properly sift through everything." She began to bounce, genuinely becoming excited. "Ah, come on Nessie. No one wants to come. Please?"

"Aunt Ali, can we leave about ten-thirty? All I need is about two hours. It's really important what I was about to… um… do."

"Nessie, go ahead. It's fine. We'll talk later," I interrupted.

Boy, I tell you, if looks could kill I'd be dead meat on a fork. I didn't even know that beautiful little face could get so contorted. She was pissed.

"Jacob, can I speak to you in private?"

"Ness, no need, Alice can hear everything, anyway." I rebutted, hoping she would lay off.

"Alright, fine, we'll talk right here, right now. Jacob..." 

"Fine, Fine… in the room." I turned to look at Alice, pleading for help. We walked in and closed the door behind us. She immediately pulled me to the bed, straddling me.

"Jake..." She placed her hand on my face. My dick twitched at the images quickly passing before my eyes. This time, she showed me us just minutes ago then added me taking her virginity. I shook at the thought of what I was about to do. Her vision became more detailed, more vivid, then she kissed me.

All I know is the next thing I knew, my pants and underwear were off and her shirt was off. She pulled me on top of her, pushing her feelings of love into my head. I pulled back, removing her hand from my face. "But..."

"Ness! No. No. No. Not like this. Not today. Baby, there's no rush. We have forever, right?"

She pushed me off her, hard. "Fuck a forever, Jacob. I have needs today. I don't understand why you don't want me," she screamed at me then began crying and ran into the bathroom. I didn't know what to do so I walked into the kitchen to get her something to drink.

Alice took the drink from me and told me to go to the main house. She would deal with Nessie. I looked at her with question, but I left anyway. We seriously needed some separation.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The rest of the day passed rather quickly. I constantly reminded myself about not slipping with my thoughts. Thank God that Edward and Bella was hunting because I definitely slipped more then a few times.

The same vision came to me… Nessie lying on the bed before me with her legs wide open. Nessie lying under me looking all sexy with her eyes full of desire for me. Nessie's face when she screamed my name while we made love.

_Shit! This just can't turn out good. I wonder if Edward will let Nessie marry me before she makes eighteen? Other than that, I know I won't be able to hold her off long. _

I'm a fucking man after all, right? He couldn't possibly expect me to see her and go through that over and over, smelling her sweet pussy begging for me and do nothing? Well, yes, he would, and honestly, I would too. I don't want to have sex with her before we get married or at least engaged. Well, if I know Edward, that'll never happen.

_I'm so fucked!_

While I was pondering these things in my head and looking at television at the Cullen mansion, Edward walked up behind me. He scared the shit out of me. I jumped off the sofa and faced him.

_Please don't kill me, please don't kill me._

I chanted in my head. The look on Edward's face was between comical and really, really pissed. I backed up. "Edward, I..." Before I could say another word, in came Nessie and Alice. My saviors. Nessie looked at me angrily and without a word, walked upstairs to Alice's room.

_Shit! _

Edward looked over at me, undetermined how he wanted to handle me. Bella walked in. "Jacob..." He said through clenched teeth. "Come take a walk with me, please."

_Oh great, now he can kill me deep in the woods for no one to find me. __I'm so fucked. _

I got up and slowly walked out the front door behind him. He looked back at me. "Jacob, stop with the silly inner ramblings. I'm not going to hurt you." With that, some of the tension in my shoulders gave way and I walked with him to the tree covering then ran with him a couple of miles more. I guess the sensitivity of the subject didn't need to be discussed openly for all ears to hear. Thank God.

Finally, we stopped. It was a partial clearing designed by nature. It was beautiful but small, and there were two large boulders placed in the shade for seating. We sat, and I looked at him, afraid to say a word.

"Jacob, you would actually consider those things you were thinking? Or did you already do them?" He seemed to be bracing himself for impact, obviously not wanting the answer to his own questions, but needing them, none the less.

"Edward, I..." I had no words for him. I was ashamed of what I almost did to his daughter and afraid of his wrath.

"Jacob, relax. I understand. I know my daughter and I also know her persistence when she wants something bad enough. She definitely didn't steal it. She's just like her mother." He looked off in the distance, obviously thinking on a memory and smiled, partially. "But, Jacob, that still doesn't excuse the wrongness of it. She's still very young and needs to mature more before taking such a serious step forward, don't you think?"

"Totally."

"Well, what are we going to do?"

"We?"

"Yes. Jacob, I know you're a man and I also know how hard it is to deny her, especially if she's as persistent as you were recalling in your memory."

"I don't know what to say. I love her with all my heart and I want to do the right thing by her but I just don't know how long I can last, honestly. I know it's really horrible of me but it's true. Alice saved me today. She knew I, in my heart, didn't want to do that, but we were way past changing our minds by that point. Nessie knew, somehow, just what to do to me. How to wrap me so tightly that I couldn't move or choose."

"Jacob, you know you'll need to rethink the personal, alone time you spend with her. She won't be giving up anytime soon. I'll have her mother speak to her, but you know how that'll go. Maybe she could move back to our cottage." I took in a deep breath and let it out quickly. Just him saying that thoroughly frustrated me. I definitely wanted her near me at all times but I knew it wasn't practical.

"I know. She's going to be _so_ pissed."

"Well, maybe, if she promises to behave and play fair, she could sleep in your spare bedroom sometimes. I don't know. There's no easy answer. Jacob, all I ask is for you to allow her to grow up a little more. There is a lot to consider. Especially her getting pregnant, and neither of you are ready for that, either. When you're ready, regardless to when, come talk to me. I won't kill you, I promise, but you need to understand the ways to avoid certain things during sex. If you're not comfortable with me then go to Emmett… well, no… Jasper or Carlisle would be better. Alright?"

"Thank you, Edward. If I've never told you how much I value our relationship, I just want you to know that I do and I'll do right by your daughter. I promise."

Edward looked at me with his crooked grin. "Jacob, I value our relationship too. You're like a son to me. I missed you when you were gone. Don't do that again, alright?"

"I won't and sorry for the fight. That was stupid of me."

He smiled. "Yes. Yes it was, but we're family. Sometimes family fights but in the end we're still family. We still love each other."

We walked back to the main house, trying to figure out just how to handle Nessie. Honestly, regardless to what we say or do, she _will_ have a fit and probably will not be talking to me for a while. That's fine for now. Distance may be what we need.

When we got to the house, Nessie, Bella and Alice were on the sofa. Alice smiled at me, already knowing what just happened between Edward and me. Bella looked confused and Nessie looked really pissed.

_Shit! Edward, she's already pissed. Maybe we should wait._ I looked over at him. He shook his head. _Shit, shit, shit. Well, let's get this over with. _

"Hello all, where's everyone?" I asked.

"They've all gone to hunt. They'll be back later," Bella replied.

Edward and I sat in front of the ladies. Nessie never removed her eyes from mine. If eyes could speak, hers were saying... "You motherfucker! You better not have gotten my dad involved in this. This is my fucking life and my fucking body!" Well, something like that, but I promise that I'm not far off. I'll be sure to ask her some other day when she's happy with me again. Huh.

_Gosh, even pissed, she's beautiful._

Bella looked over at Renesmee when she saw my facial expression change. "Renesmee, what's wrong?"

"Bella, relax, Jacob and Renesmee are having… um… sexual tension, and we need to talk about it." Edward stated matter-of-factly.

"No! No we don't _need_ to do anything like that! I am not some child that needs to talk about my sex life with my parents and my aunt. Jacob, if you don't want me then fine. This subject is no longer up for discussion!" She stormed out the room, slamming the back door behind her, successfully breaking the glass to the door and the window next to it. She then took out running toward Edward and Bella's cottage.

Everyone looked at me. I stood up, ready to go behind her. "Jacob..." Alice started. "Give her a second. We talked already and she understands that she's not ready for that but she still wants it. She wants _you_."

"Alice, I don't understand. She has me. All of me. She always has."

"No, Jake, she thought she had lost you forever just days ago. She wants to solidify the relationship. She wants to prove to you that she can be the woman that you need her to be."

"Why on earth is she thinking like that? I've never made her feel like she wasn't already? Have I?"

"No. You've done the exact opposite. You've loved her through all her shit all these years, and kept her feeling loved, but she feels like all she can give to you is herself. She understands that bond between a man and a woman after sex and she wants that. She never wants to feel separated from you again… in any way." I ran my hands through my hair while feeling my heart speed up three times its normal pace. "It's no easy fix to be honest with you. She knows exactly what she wants."

I looked over at Bella. Her mouth was wide open and her eyes straining in their sockets. She looked at Edward. He nodded his head. "Remember?"

"Oh, Jake, you poor thing." She started laughing. "Go talk to her."

I turned to look at Edward. "Would you be opposed to me marrying your daughter?"

"To satisfy both your sexual urges? Absolutely. Jacob, you don't get married for those reasons."

"I knew that. No harm in asking, right?" I smiled then took a deep, ragged breath. With that, I exited through the now broken door and headed to the cottage.

When I got there, Nessie was sitting on the back porch, watching the garden. She had her journal and pen in hand. She never acknowledged that I was standing there. I walked over to her and sat at her feet.

"Ness, look at me. Please?"

She continued writing but turned her chair so my face was at her back now. I just sat there with her for maybe fifteen minutes before she stopped writing. She ripped the page out, handed it to me, then walked into the house.

I was almost afraid to read the damn note, for fear of her anger, but I slowly opened it and steadied myself for the blow.

_Jacob My Love, _

_Please try to understand me. All I want is to be close to you. I almost lost you before and I want to tie myself to you in every way humanly and inhumanly possible. My body craves for you just as my heart does. I can't imagine another moment spent on this earth without having you lying close to me, holding me, loving me. _

_If I've pushed too hard, I'm sorry, but I won't apologize for wanting you... for needing you. Please don't separate yourself from me or let my dad make unreasonable demands ultimately dictating our lives and our love. _

_I love you, and I have to be near you. Please understand._

_Below is a poem of what I felt for you earlier, what I feel for you now, what I will feel for you later tonight, and what I will feel for you forever._

_I named it "Passion Uncontrolled"_

_I see your face when I look into my dreams  
I feel your skin when I touch silken seams  
I smell your passion when I lay in bed  
I hear your soothing voice inside my head_

Your lips are soft and entice my kiss  
Your tongue searches for the moist bliss  
Our tongues intertwine with urgency of fire  
Twirling and twisting feeding their desires

As I kiss your lips I see into your eyes  
I see the love enveloped in those blue skies.  
Erotic thoughts enter my wondering brain  
I want this intensity forever sustained

Upon the bed we lay naked in the sheets  
Caressing your body makes my body complete  
Trying to hold back my release until it's time  
Pleasuring you is the only thing on my mind

I want to please your body and soul  
Inside and out and from head to toe  
Ill touch you like you have never been touched  
I'll make you scream with the sheets in your clutch

When my tongue reaches the place between your thighs  
The sensation you feel it will be impossible to deny  
Wave after wave rolling over your soul  
Reaching down, reaching deep it's out of control

I want to know that you feel no shame  
When you release and scream my name  
A flood of pleasure washing over your skin  
Ripples of shivers not knowing where to begin.

I want to feel your skin on mine  
Your breath on my face chills up my spine  
You press up against me as you slide on down  
To take me in your mouth and you go to town

I can feel and stroke and caress your cock  
My tongue dances to the music of Bach  
I moan with pleasure as you're engorged with blood  
Wanting to have you, to release your flood.

I arch my back and close my eyes  
Holding back my orgasmic surprise  
It feels so good I don't want to stop  
I could suck you all night or until you pop

I want you to feel you inside me deep  
I want you to make me feel real cheap  
Make me fuck you like I've never done  
Make me fuck you until you cum.

Put my ankles upon your shoulder  
Scream, "Oh my God!" over and over  
Hours of pleasure and moments of pain  
Orgasms from Heaven driving us insane.

Collapsing with a sigh all covered in sweat  
We hold each other close thankful we met  
You know I'm in my prime  
I'll go again in fifteen minutes time.

_I love you, Renesmee_

When I read the letter, then her poem, my heart was overwhelmed and tears escaped my eyes. I understood her feelings and her desire for us. We call her young and immature, but she knows exactly how she feels and what she wants. She knows how to explain perfectly to make you understand. How can I deny her anything, especially myself? I have to try. She deserves so much more.

I got up and went inside to face her. I found her on her bed, curled in a ball, crying her eyes out. "Ness..." I whispered. When I got to the edge of the bed where her back was to me, I slid under the covers and wrapped my arms around her. "Ness… I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I only want what's best for you. And I just don't think that taking your virginity before we get married is the best thing for you. Ness, please, try to understand. I don't know what to do. I want you too." With that admittance, she turned toward me, placing her hand on my face. I looked into her eyes. She sent me every emotion that she felt while writing the letter and the poem, then showed me us in the bed, repeating what I just told her. She went on to kissing me in her vision, then making slow, passionate love.

Of course, my dick got instantly hard so I removed her hand from my face and readjusted my lower area. "No, Ness, please, stop. I can't..."

"But Jake… you said you want me too. That's all that matters. Nothing else is relevant. I don't understand. If it's marriage you want, I'll agree to that too whenever you want." Her eyes were so full of passion and love and her beauty seeped even through the tear stained face. I passed my finger across her lower face, removing the tears, then kissing her face where they had been.

When I looked back into her eyes, something tightened in my stomach as I realized what she had just said. Did she just say that she wants to marry me? When ever I want? With that realization, my heart tightened, then released several times before I spoke. I felt dizzy.

"Renesmee Cullen, did you just say that you'd marry me?" She smiled, nodding her head. "But why so young?"

"Jake, I meant everything I said in my letter. I can't imagine ever losing you again, and I want to be tied to you. I'd marry you tonight if you'd have me. Don't you see? There's no me without you. No true meaning to my life. Everything that I desire in this life involves you, our love, our life, our children. I would give anything to have that today. If we're meant to be together then why wait? What are we waiting on? For one of us to change our minds?"

"Never, Ness. I just would like for you to experience more, meet people, go to school..."

"Jake..." She sat up, wiping her face again, tucking her hair behind her ears. "I can do all of that with you. I don't want to live in the house all day and night having sex and not have a life. I just want that life experienced with you."

I smiled at her in awe. She'd grown up so much. Definitely not the little girl that we are so used to seeing. She was now a beautiful young woman that knew what she wanted and was so damn sexy. Me and her father had totally misunderstood her. We definitely hadn't given her the credit she deserved to make her own decisions.

"Ness, I want that too, very much. I always have. I always imagined me saying these things to you – not you to me. I feel like such an ass." I took in a deep breath, rethinking our conversation. "Ness, you know your father would _never_ let us get married right now, right?"

"Well, we'll just see about that. Jake, is that really what you want? Am I pressuring you to be with me? Because if I am, please don't do this?"

"Renesmee, I love you more than life itself. I always have. You know that. I've waited for many years to have you love me back. So, no... no pressure. I want this too... if not more. But I just don't see how we can pull this off. I won't marry you without your parents' approval."

"Don't worry about that Jake. So, again, are you asking me to marry you?"

"I don't have a ring. Don't you want that first?"

"Jake!"

"Alright, alright, yes. Renesmee Carlie Cullen, would you agree to be my wife. I promise to love you always and forever..."

While I was still speaking, she planted the warmest, sweetest kiss on me. Her tears began again, and the mixture of her normal taste mixed with her salty tears gave me a jolt of adrenaline. I jumped from the bed, grabbed her up, and swung her around.

"I love you. I love you." I chanted while swinging us around.

I don't think I'd ever been that happy. She giggled through my silliness. I didn't care. She wanted me and that's all that mattered. She could talk about me later._  
_

When I finally settled down, I stood there with her in my arms, gazing into her eyes. The look on her face sent a jolt straight down to my dick, and my heartbeat immediately quickened. Looking at her with her eyes deeply hooded, all playfulness flew out the window. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me toward her lips. We ended up back on the bed with me on top of her. She wrapped her legs around me tightly as she slowly moved her hips across my hardened mass. Between the smell of arousal, the way she was looking at me, and the consequence of what we just agreed to, I wanted her.

I didn't want to deny us anymore. I needed us too.

I continued leaning on one of my forearms for support, and leaned in to kiss her. She wasn't as rough and demanding as before. She was relaxed, patient, hopeful. The moment was very sweet but the intensity deepened as time passed. I passed my other hand between us, finding my purchase – the hem of her shirt.

I slightly moved it up, desiring to feel her smooth skin against me. I did the same to my shirt and I was rewarded with a moan for my effort. We finally broke our kiss to finally breath so I began kissing her earlobe down to her neck, passing my hands everywhere I could reach.

For those moments, I forgot that anyone other than us existed. She made me feel so wanted, hell, even needed. No one in my life had ever expressed to me that I was that important to them and in those moments, I wanted to be all that she needed me to be for her.

When she began reaching for my belt, I stilled my actions, rolled to the side, pulled her in close, and looked at her in the eyes. "Ness, are you sure that you want to do this? If we continue, I won't have the will, nor ability to stop. I want you so fucking bad right now but I would really love to save this for our wedding night. But if you want me to continue then I will. It's getting really hard for me, Ness."

She pulled both her little hands from around my waist and placed them on my face. She looked into my eyes and paused.

"Jake, we can wait. You know I really want this right now, but your desires matter to me too, and I know how important it is to you to do this right. So… lets get out of this bed before I change my mind." She smiled through her last statement but it still rang true for us both.

_God, I love this woman._

**I know it's a strange place to stop but I'm tired y'all. I've posted two chapters this weekend, wrote two and now I'm trying to end a couple of these so I can go on to something else.**

**This story still has a number of chapters to go but "All I Ever Wanted needs to be finished. That'll be my priority over the next weeks.**

**I do have tons of chapters of this story already written but it's not proofed so I can't just put them up and I have no Beta so I'm having to look over this a few times.**

**Anywho, I have another really nasty O/S that I think you'll love. It's called:**

**Swingers: The Gifted Pen. **

http :/ www . fanfiction. Net /s/7328727/1/Swingers_The_Gifted_Pen

It's really nasty and is new for me. I've gotten a good response from it. Let me know what you think.

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! THANKS ALL!


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